


a long way to fall (dentist!calum au)

by cosycal



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5SOS, ashton irwin - Fandom, calum hood - Fandom, luke hemmings - Fandom, michael clifford - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Calum is a dentist, Comfort, Dentist, Dentist AU, Doctor/Patient, F/M, Fandom, Fluff, Hurt, Medical, NYC, New York, OC, Own Character, Romance, Smut, medical AU, slowburn, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 65,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28112460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosycal/pseuds/cosycal
Summary: Ivy Wick is lonely, trapped in an abusive relationship, and thinking of ending things. Calum Hood is fresh out of his own tormented relationship and looking for someone to fill the void. When several awkward run ins start to feel like more than just chance, their lives become intertwined in ways that don't always grant happy endings.
Relationships: Calum Hood/Original female character, Dentist Calum Hood/Original Female Character
Comments: 25
Kudos: 34





	1. prologue

Down a cosy side street in Manhattan, away from the bustling sidewalks and piercing car horns, there was a bar. A dingy, dark, dirty bar that was host to almost exclusively old, alcoholic men and the occasional group of drunken young adults who couldn’t be arsed to walk any further or pay any more money for a cab, hence just settling for the nearest place that served alcohol that they could find, which happened to be here. That was pretty much the ensemble that made up the crowded pub tonight. Them, and two freshly heartbroken strangers attempting to drown their respective sorrows. One of these strangers was an auburn-haired writer called Ivy Wick.

“Gin and tonic, please” Ivy slurred out to the barman for about the eighth time that evening, brushing a crumpled ten-dollar bill in his direction which he snatched up, making sure to send a pointed look in her direction before going off to make the drink. Ivy shrugged, ignoring the barman’s judgement as she swung her legs beneath the stool she was perched on, the room around her fuzzy and warm.

"He could throw my drink in my face for all I care." Ivy thought to herself. "I’ve been through a lot worse tonight."

And that she had. The only reason she was sat in this god forsaken place, more specifically, alone, was because of the god-awful row she’d had with her boyfriend, Dylan, about two hours before.

Dylan and Ivy’s relationship had been on the rocks pretty much ever since they started dating, and just over two years later they were still ‘making it work’. Both had come from shitty families and shitty backgrounds, both moved to the City in the hopes of making it and both had spiralled worryingly quickly after realising their lives weren’t destined to turn out like the movies. It was in a bar similar to this that they’d first met in, both drunk, both desperate for affection. One hook-up and two embarrassed smiles the next morning led to an awkward brunch date, which ended in an okay kiss, which gave way to a two year long (and still going ‘strong’) relationship.

It’s not that the pair hated each other. It’s that they hated themselves so much for messing up their own lives that they were terrified of admitting to their own failure, and instead chose to take it out on one another.

Why didn’t they just break up, you ask? Being a failure was one thing, but being a failure and alone? That’s unbearable. 

Ivy couldn’t even remember what tonight’s screaming match had been over. All she knew was that it had ended so awfully, so viciously that she had stormed right out of his apartment and straight into the first bar she saw, which was here. And he hadn’t bothered to come looking. 

Ivy grimaced at that thought as her drink arrived and took a long swig. What was she doing? She had been in this relationship for over two years now, and she’d probably been the most miserable she’d ever been. They fought all the time, sex felt more like a chore, all their friends knew they were both falling apart and yet for some reason they always insisted on putting on their happy faces whenever they went out, knowing full well everyone in the room knew it was an act. They still hadn’t moved in together, Dylan never bought her flowers, never made her feel special, let alone loved. She was stuck in a dead-end job with dreams that were far beyond reach, she hadn’t heard from her family in about a year and her neighbour had spent the last week having incredibly loud sex at all hours of the day.

Ivy was, to put it lightly, sick to death of her own life.

This thought struck her harder than any other, almost sending her off her stool as her breath hitched and tears stung at her eyes. She was wasting her life. Completely. Before she knew it, she’d be living in a suburb outside of the City, unhappily married to Dylan with three kids and an annoying little yappy dog like a spaniel or a terrier. She couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or her own mind that made nausea start to crawl up her throat, but she swallowed it back down regardless.

The way Ivy saw it she had two choices tonight: she could actually take control of her own life, break up with Dylan, quit her job, anything to get the ball rolling and to spark the fire that would drive her forward.

Or she could walk right out of this bar, down into the nearest subway and throw herself onto the tracks, hopefully at the same time a train happened to be speeding by. 

Before she could begin to make her decision, she felt a presence to her right and blinked as someone sat down on the stool next to her.

“This seat taken?” He asked, flashing a small smile as Ivy looked at him curiously, her blurry features trying to figure out if she knew him.

She didn’t.

Not to an extent, anyway. She had clocked him sitting at the other end of the bar when she first arrived, nursing a beer, his head bowed, shoulders hunched. He was the only other person close to her age that was in here, and by the looks of him he was equally as drunk, and possibly even more heartbroken than she was.

Realising she hadn’t responded, Ivy jumped slightly, her unruly curls bouncing with her as she grinned apologetically. 

“No, no not at all, sit” She gestured, fluffing at her hair quickly as she crossed her legs and tried to take a dignified sip from her drink. Upon closer inspection, this man was deeply attractive. His hair was dark, almost black, curly like hers on the top and short at the sides. His skin was dark too, a golden tone to it that made the tattoos littering his left arm pop. He sat next to her and sipped from his beer, his black eyes dragging themselves up and down her body before he smirked lightly. 

“What’s a thing like you doing in a place like this?” He asked, the two of them laughing lightly at the old line. Noting an accent, Ivy guessed he was from Australia or New Zealand, more likely the latter taking in his appearance. Squirming slightly under his stare, she adjusted her sitting and smiled coyly. 

“Could ask you the same thing” She replied, the copious amounts of alcohol in her system making her far too confident for her own liking as she nudged his leg with hers, her foot sliding up past his ever so slightly. 

Catching on, the man only smirked harder than before, his eyes never leaving her face. “Drinking my sorrows away and looking to meet new people, both of which I seem to have accomplished” He smiled grimly, and Ivy could hear the slight slur in his voice, the edge of bitterness. “By the looks of it you’re here to do the same”

There was a proposition beneath his words, an offer that they both wanted to take so badly and yet weren’t sure they could let go of their pride that easily. 

But Ivy was lonely, lonelier than she’d like to admit, and she realised that the man standing right in front of her was quite possibly the solution to her earlier decision.

‘I guess I am” She smiled, holding his stare for a few seconds before looking away and running a hand through her hair. “I’m starting to get a little bored in here though, the atmosphere is so sad” she sighed, looking around forlornly, hoping he’d catch on.

He did.

“Well how about we get out of here then?” He offered, his smirk widening to a grin as he stood, towering over Ivy as he downed his beer and held his hand out to her.

Ivy stared at his hand for a second. In the back of her head there was a voice screaming at her to go the fuck home, you’re drunk, and you have a boyfriend and you’ll only regret this tomorrow. However, there was a louder, more appealing voice speaking over it, saying only two words:

Fuck it.

Decision made, Ivy took his hand, hopping off the stool as she stood, his hands immediately roaming to her sides, a touch she had been craving for far too long.

“Where to?”

-

“What’d you say your name was again” Ivy uttered out between kisses as the pair crashed through the man’s apartment door, hands roaming anywhere and everywhere, tugging at clothing desperately.

“I didn’t.” He replied breathlessly, helping her shrug her coat off as he tore off his own leather jacket and threw it somewhere in the direction of the sofa. “It’s Calum”

Ivy went to respond but was halted as his lips pressed hard against her own, biting her lower lip as she yelped, enjoying the slight pain momentarily. Spurred on by this, he separated himself for a moment from her in order to pull her shirt off, Ivy doing the same to him as they kicked their shoes off. She had a moment to take in his toned body before she was being pushed towards another door, assumingly the bedroom.

“S’nice to meet you Calum, I’m Ivy” She mumbled, laughing at herself silently as Calum pushed her against a wall, lips moving to her jaw. He didn’t care who she was, this was a one-night stand. They would never see each other again after tonight. Best to leave the questions unsaid. However, in Ivy’s intoxicated mindset, the writer in her couldn’t help but be curious. 

“What do you do for a living?” Ivy asked, Calum groaning against the skin on her neck he’d been working on as he pulled away. He gave her an exasperated look to which she giggled, himself following suit.

“What’s with all these questions, hey?” He scolded, dragging his finger across her cheek as he pulled her in again, his tongue slipping past her lips as she moaned weakly, propping herself against the wall to stop from sliding all the way down it. His hands moved to her legs, one propping a leg up against his side and the other tracing idle circles against her clit through her underwear. Ivy trembled at the light touch. She hadn’t felt this good in so long, he could barely touch her, and she’d probably turn straight to mush. “No more questions, okay?” He murmured, pulling away momentarily to look at her, finger still working away between them.

“Okay” Ivy nodded, taking his face between her hands and kissing him harder than before as he picked her up, hooking his arms underneath her legs as he navigated them into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.


	2. playlist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I forgot that I made a list of songs for this fic so here it is if you wanna get sad lol

*listen in this order*

  * yungblud - cotton candy
  * the vaccines - post breakup sex
  * the neighbourhood - crybaby
  * the neighbourhood - the void
  * arctic monkeys - 505
  * 5 seconds of summer - talk fast
  * prelow - mistakes like this 
  * king princess - upper west side
  * SZA - drew barrymore
  * the neighbourhood - cherry flavoured 
  * arctic monkeys - I wanna be yours
  * cigarettes after sex - kiss it off me
  * coldplay - sparks 
  * the field mice - between hello and goodbye 
  * life without buildings - the leanover
  * cigarettes after sex - apocalypse
  * lil peep - star shopping 
  * harry styles - from the dining table
  * harry styles - fine line
  * rhodes - your soul
  * coldplay - yellow



enjoy!


	3. one

If the pounding headache was anything to go by, Ivy knew she had fucked up big time last night.

She had been awoken by a strange sniffing noise coming from directly in front of her face, a noise that she’d hoped wasn’t coming from a human being. Cracking an eye open, Ivy groaned instantly as the sunlight that seeped through the blinds invaded her vision, only spurring on the pounding that now seemed to be coursing across her entire body. Rubbing some of the grogginess from her eyes, Ivy yawned, swallowing back the all too familiar bile before a thought managed to get past the aching, a thought that cleared her head within seconds.

_I don’t have blinds in my apartment._

_And neither does Dylan._

Ivy fought harder to push back the sick feeling this time as she stared dumbfounded at the dark wooden blinds attached to the window in front of her. It was shortly after this that she noticed the small, blonde dog by her feet, the wooden flooring, the bed that _certainly_ wasn’t hers and the messy dregs of last night’s clothes that had been scattered around the room aimlessly.

_Where the fuck am I and what have I done?_

Ivy soon discovered the latter part to that question when she heard a slight groan behind her, a shift in the mattress. Squealing lightly upon discovering she wasn’t alone, Ivy jumped and turned towards the source of the noise.

A dark-haired man, sound asleep on the pillow next to hers was the last thing she’d hoped to see.

She couldn’t even remember his name, other than that it started with a C. Craig? Cameron? Chris? Chris. She was almost certain his name was Chris.

Almost.

Backing away from the bed in horror, Ivy clumsily picked up what clothes of hers she could see and threw them on, all whilst keeping her eyes trained on the figure who still slept. A tiny part of Ivy’s still-half-drunk brain acknowledged the toned chest that wasn’t covered by the duvet, the jet-black hair against the white of the pillows, the sharp jawline and the full lips parted ever so slightly, soft snores escaping them.

The rest of her brain wanted to projectile vomit all over this room, if it meant that would somehow reverse all of last night’s mistakes.

But she knew that it wouldn’t. And she also knew that she didn’t want to throw up in a stranger’s apartment.

_And risk waking him up._

No, better just to leave, Ivy decided, letting out a tiny cry of victory as she finally found her other shoe and purse underneath a desk in the corner of the room. She noticed a pair of navy scrubs hanging over the chair tucked into the desk, and silently praised herself for hooking up with someone who at least had a respectable career.

 _If I’ve fucked up my life completely,_ she thought, _at least I’ve done it with someone who isn’t as much of a scumbag as me._

Ivy didn’t take much comfort in that thought however, as she retrieved her phone and silently left the apartment, waving a quick goodbye to the little dog that had been curiously following her every movement. With shaky fingers, she texted her colleague and close friend, Ashton, in the hopes that he would pick her up round the corner so that she didn’t have to pay for an uber.

Much to her relief, Ashton, who for some reason was awake at 7am, agreed to meet her at a coffee shop just down the road, sending her the address and promising his being there in twenty minutes. Sighing, Ivy limped along the sidewalk, her thighs aching more than she cared to admit.

And the worst part? She couldn’t even remember what had made her hurt this much. If you’d had sex that had been _that_ good, you’d want to remember it.

_I’m a piece of shit._

This thought played on repeat, over and over as Ivy waited outside the coffee shop until a familiar car pulled into her field of vision. The front window was rolled down to reveal Ashton, black hair askew and a shit eating grin on his face as he beckoned her to get in.

Ashton and Ivy had known each other for just under three years now, and Ivy had to admit, her life had brightened since he’d come into it. He had been employed at her work as a journalist, same as Ivy, and she had helped him settle in. As a thank you, Ashton would always pay for her Dunkin’ Donuts order, which led to them realising they had the exact same order, which then of course led to an eternal bond and an everlasting friendship. Ashton gave the best hugs, the best advice, and he threw the best parties. All in all, Ivy was very grateful for him, and in a way, she saw him as a soulmate of sorts.

Right now, she saw him as a saviour. An irritating one at that.

Groaning but struggling to suppress the smile on her face, Ivy fell into the passenger seat, whining as Ashton began his torment.

“You fuckin’ DAWGGGGGG!” Ashton howled as he pulled away from the curb, hitting the steering wheel with the heel of his palm as he barked to emphasise his point. “You. Fuckin’. Dog”

“Don’t” Ivy hissed, massaging at her temples lightly as she fought back another wave of nausea. “I’m still coming to terms with it myself”

“Coming to terms with it? Ivy, you _fucked_ a random dude! _And_ you have a boyfriend! A shitty one at that, but still! Gotta say, I’m kinda proud in a fucked-up way”

“Oh God, Dylan” Ivy whimpered, flashes of her boyfriend’s face piercing through her mind. How could she do this? Granted, her and Dylan hadn’t been right for a while, but there was no excusing what she’d done last night. That’s not how you go about telling someone you don’t want to be with them anymore.

What was she talking about? Of course, she wanted to be with Dylan! She loved him, he was all she had, and he had helped her out of some really, _really_ , dark places. He didn’t deserve what she’d done to him. No one deserved that.

Ivy was too lost in her own thoughts to notice that Ashton had begun to bitch about her boyfriend. He did this a lot, having never been a fan of Dylan, and Ivy managed to tune it out most of the time. In Ashton’s own words, he was a ‘boring, manipulative little rat who’s only goal in this relationship was to unload all of his issues onto you to make himself feel better.’

It was something along the lines of this that Ashton was saying now, words like ‘loveless’ and ‘soul-sucking’ drifting into Ivy’s consciousness. His constant ranting, alongside the still-pounding headache and the overwhelming wave of guilt and anxiety began to build towards a crescendo, raining down on Ivy in the form of a thousand sharp little knives.

It was then that Ivy threw up in the empty Dunkin’ Donuts bag on the floor of Ashton’s car.

And then she began to cry.

Hard.

She was vaguely aware of Ashton pulling over and moving her hair out of her face, rubbing her back and asking her where she wanted to go, who she wanted to be with right now.

Ivy felt as if she had no other answer in her.

“Home” She choked out. “I just want to go home”

Nodding, Ashton pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, making sure she was alright before driving off again in the direction of her flat. Ivy, still too nauseated to talk, looked out the window at the passing neighbourhoods, concentrating on the blurs of people, trees, parked cars, sidewalks.

And in the back of her mind, as the tension of the headache started to fade and hangover-hunger started to creep in, she felt a memory from last night bubble up to the surface of her conscience.

Falling asleep in the arms of that stranger, his lips pressed softly against her forehead, his heartbeat in rhythm with her own.

And Ivy realised she would give anything to be back in that moment and wondered fruitlessly what would’ve happened if she had stayed and waited for him to wake up beside her this morning.


	4. two

After a day of vomiting, whining, sipping gingerly at a green tea and crying, Ivy was nestled in the corner of her sofa and glaring worryingly at her phone screen that displayed 11 missed calls and about thirty unopened messages from Dylan.

She couldn’t bring herself to talk to him.

What on Earth would she say? Was she supposed to come clean? Or should she do that in person? Should she be telling him at all? Surely it would be easier and less painful, for everyone involved, to just lie and make up some convoluted, drunk, half-remembered story of what happened last night? And then they’d both have a bit of a cry, apologise, forgive each other and go back to pretending they’re in love.

Yes, that option seemed much more logical.

Taking a deep breath, Ivy shakily went to Dylan’s contact and tapped ‘call’.

The two rings that sounded between her dialling and Dylan picking up were the most agonising, dread-filling noises she’d ever heard.

She quickly changed this to the second most agonising noise directly after she heard Dylan’s panting breaths down the other end of the line.

“Ivy? Ivy is that you?”

“It’s me” she replied quietly, already biting back an eyeroll.

“Fucking hell Ivy where have you been? I was too angry to go after you last night, but you haven’t been responding to my messages all day, I figured you would’ve just gone for a walk and come back like you always do but no you fucking _vanished_ for almost 24 hours and didn’t bother to give me any kind of hint as to where you were! You had me worried sick, I mean just leaving like that how do you think that makes me feel- “

“Dylan” Ivy cut him off before he said something that had her blocking his number and never speaking to him again. “I’m sorry. I went to Leila’s last night and we ended up getting pretty drunk, I just haven’t felt like talking to anyone today.”

“Couldn’t you have just sent me a quick text saying that? I mean Christ I’m your boyfriend, I think I deserve to be a little more in the loop.” He huffed, although she could still hear the teary undertones in his voice.

“Dylan, I was mad at you! We’d had a huge fight; you were the last person I wanted to speak to- “

“Yeah, well you were the _only_ person I wanted to speak to, so you can imagine how great you’ve made _me_ feel the past couple hours.”

Ivy almost screamed.

“ _You could’ve come after me!_ Even if you didn’t last night, you know where I live, why not come over today to talk this out? I don’t understand you- “Ivy could feel her voice raising with every syllable.

“Ivy you know how busy I am right now with the business” Ivy didn’t fight the eye roll this time. Dylan and his ‘business’ were the source of most of Ivy’s problems, especially when it involved him staying up on loud calls until ungodly hours and her having to be dragged to black-tie events that were so painfully boring she’d rather get teeth pulled.

“I don’t really have time to be chasing you around New York on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness for something that wasn’t even my fault to begin with!” He half shouted, exhaling frustratedly just as Ivy heard the ringing of another call coming through from his end. “Shit, I-Okay I have to take this it’s my boss. I’m sorry for what happened, it was stupid, can we just forget it ever happened? I’ll take you out for lunch sometime next week.” He rushed out, clearly in a hurry now to end this.

Ivy was at a loss for words. All she could manage was a subdued “It’s okay, I’m sorry too, I’ll see you soon, I love you” and with that he had hung up. Dropping her phone into her lap, Ivy let a singular tear travel down her cheek. Wiping it quickly, she cleared her throat and stared icily out the window at the City lights, willing the rest of the tears in her vision back into her eye sockets.

She could not wrap her head around how her and Dylan were still together. She so desperately didn’t want to be with him anymore, but she wanted even less to be alone. When she was alone, she had only herself to keep the depressive episodes and constant anxiety at bay. At least with Dylan, he was there (most of the time) to offer hugs, reassurance and calm. Granted, he had gotten worse at it as the years went on (or maybe he just began to care about her less), but it was better than doing it on her own. She had a perfectly valid excuse now too to break up with him, the stain of last night’s crimes still stabbing at her conscience like a constant headache. But on the flip side, if she left him, she’d be facing up to what she did, letting it, alongside the fresh heartbreak, consume her entirely until she was nothing but a cloud of self-torment and grief.

And she was too terrified of who that would turn her into to find out.

She knew, realistically, that she wouldn’t be completely alone. She had Ashton, and Leila, and all their other friends who loved a good booze up to drown sorrows out. And, eventually, a new love interest would come along, and Dylan would be a faded memory.

But there was that demonic, little voice in her head that told her that no one cared about her enough to stick around through the heartbreak. They’d judge her for cheating, they’d tire of her whining and crying, and eventually they’d leave.

And Ivy would be alone, just like she’d always feared.

Shivering, she leaned forward and took a sip of tea from the mug on the coffee table in front of her. She grimaced slightly as a dull ache blossomed at the back of her mouth, but she ignored it like she ignored most medical-related worries. It would be gone by morning.

“ _Yes”_ She thought. “ _Far better to stay with Dylan, no matter how miserable he makes me.”_

_Because I’d rather be miserable and with someone than miserable and alone._


	5. three

_One week later._

Ivy could not remember the last time she had felt this devastatingly _shit_.

It had been a week since her phone call with Dylan, and they had yet to go out for lunch like he’d promised or see each other at all for that matter. At the start of the week, Ivy had made an effort to at least try and get back on the right track with him, ringing him every day, talking for a good twenty minutes about each other’s days and asking when she could see him. The latter was always answered with something along the lines of “Not today babe, got a huge meeting this afternoon” or “Maybe tomorrow? I’m absolutely rammed this week you have no idea”. It had gotten to Wednesday and Ivy had stopped bothering to call. It frightened her that she didn’t care much that Dylan hadn’t called her up instead. Not once.

She was also still caught up in the dark storm of thoughts about what she’d done with a random-stranger-called-Chris, still debating whether to tell Dylan or not and still crying herself to sleep every night from the stress of it all. Talking to Ashton and Leila didn’t help much, as both of them were so anti-Dylan it felt like whenever he was brought up, they were ranting about Nazis they were that passionate about it.

She hardly slept. Couldn’t remember the last time she smiled. Never left her flat other than to go to work. Got through a bottle of wine a night. Cried almost _constantly._ Didn’t eat much. And on top of all of this, the small ache in the back of her mouth had worsened considerably to the point her cheek was starting to resemble that of a chipmunk.

Ivy had put herself into autopilot, and she didn’t know how to get back control.

She didn’t notice the worried stares she got from her colleagues as she dragged herself into work on Friday, and if she had, she wouldn’t have blamed them. She was dressed in the first clothes she’d seen in her wardrobe, which didn’t not-go-together, but they were pulled on so raggedly she looked slightly like she’d been partying the night before and hadn’t had time to go home before coming in. Her hair hadn’t been washed in about five days, and instead was pulled up into a tangled topknot. Her makeup was smudged, mostly from crying all morning on the commute here (much to everyone on the subway’s judgement). She stumbled to her desk, coffee in one hand and the other clutching at her cheek mournfully.

Usually, Ivy took pride in her appearance, and wouldn’t be caught dead out in public looking like she was, let alone at work. However, still trapped in a depressive, anxious slump, Ivy simply didn’t care.

And that frightened her, but still not so much that she could find the motivation to get her shit together.

She didn’t know what to do.

She might not have noticed her colleagues stares when she’d arrived, but it was all but impossible to avoid Ashton who was practically weeping at the sight of her as she sat down at her desk opposite him.

“Ivy”

Ivy ignored him.

“Ivy” He said more firmly, standing to move so he was now crouched beside her desk.

Again, Ivy ignored him, taking a deep breath as she logged into her laptop. Just as she went to hit ‘enter’, Ashton gently took her hand and brought it into his own, forcing her to acknowledge his existence.

“Please look at me” He mumbled, and Ivy did as he said, turning in her chair to face him just in time to watch a single tear fall down his cheek.

“Ashton why are you crying” Ivy asked monotonously. She was used to seeing Ashton cry, emotionally turbulent man that he was, but the tears weren’t normally directed at her.

“Why am I crying?” Ashton whispered incredulously, wiping the tear off his face as he cleared his throat and tried to come off stern. “If you could see yourself right now, you’d know why”

“I have mirrors in my apartment I know what I look like”

“Then you should know why I’m upset”

“I can’t help it”

“I know you can’t, and that’s what’s making me so sad” Ashton choked out. “You are so, so broken and miserable and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help you because you won’t listen”.

Ivy knew why Ashton was saying this. He knew that if he made out her being sad was making him even sadder, her love for him would override her wallowing and she’d attempt at bringing back some normalcy and wellbeing into her life. If they were dating, she’d think it was incredibly toxic of him, but she knew he was doing it because he cared about her, not for his own gain, so she decided to humour him.

Sighing tiredly, Ivy looked at him hopelessly.

“I do want you to help me. So, I’m going to ask you to order me to do one thing today that’ll help me get out of this since I am clearly uncapable of doing that myself” Ashton perked up at this and went to speak but Ivy cut him off. “But nothing Dylan related. I know the first thing that probably came to your mind was to tell me to break up with Dylan, but I can’t do that. I just can’t. So please, something else that’ll help me feel better. Please, Ashton” Her voice wobbled slightly as she finished so she swallowed the lump in her throat, wincing as her tooth barked in protest.

“Okay, I can do that. I’m going to tell you to go to the dentist. Tonight.”

Ivy blinked. She had been expecting him to say something that involved a hot bath, or a movie night, or a yoga class. She didn’t even realise her toothache was that obvious.

“The dentist?”

“Yes, you’re clearly in agony and I don’t want you trying to convince me otherwise. I know you hate the dentist, particularly your one, which I’m guessing is why you’ve put it off this long. But Ivy you really, really, need to go. Your cheek is starting to look like you’ve been stung by a bee.” Ivy snorted at the last bit, instantly regretting it as she winced again. And Ashton was right, she hated the dentist, especially her one. There were so many unnecessarily sharp tools, she always felt so vulnerable, it was so invasive, and it was generally just a horrible experience every time she went. Plus, her dentist was an arrogant bitch who always scraped at Ivy’s teeth a little too hard and gave her outfit choices withering stares, followed by a monotone, “Oh my God your shoes are so cute where’d you get them?”

And the worst part? She always cut Ivy off before she even had a chance to tell her. Ivy loved talking about shoes.

“You’re right” Ivy groaned, screwing her eyes shut so she didn’t have to look at Ashton’s triumphant grin. Knowing he wouldn’t leave her side until she’d made an appointment, Ivy pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialled the number for the clinic.

After being left on hold for ten minutes (Ashton’s legs had gone stiff from crouching too long so he’d returned to his seat opposite her), Ivy was met with the drawling tone of the receptionist, who stated that there weren’t any spaces available until next Friday before Ivy could even get a word in. Hanging up, she felt tears pricking at her eyes again. She hadn’t even really acknowledged how bad her toothache was until someone (Ashton) had pointed it out, and now it hurt so much it was practically all she could think about.

She couldn’t wait until next Friday.

“What’s wrong” Ashton was immediately out of his chair again when he noticed Ivy’s quiet crying.

“They don’t have an available space until next Friday” she sobbed, covering her face to try and hide away from snooping co-workers.

“Next Friday? That’s insane! Did you not tell them how much pain you were in?”

“I didn’t get a chance to, that was the first thing the receptionist said when she picked up, so I just hung up. I don’t know what to do, I’m in so much pain Ashton” Ivy choked out, leaning into his hold as they both perched on her desk chair, no longer caring about anyone else and their prying stares. Ashton and Ivy’s desks were tucked into the corner at the back of the office anyway, so the only person that had noticed Ivy’s hysteria was Carl the intern, who was now staring a little too hard at his laptop screen.

“Okay, okay here’s what we’re going to do” Ashton said, bringing his own chair round to her side to give Ivy space to sort herself out. “I’m going to ring my dentist, Luke Hemmings. He also happens to be one of my oldest friends, we went to the same College. I love him almost as much as I love you” Ivy giggled softly, grateful for Ashton forever trying to lift her spirits. “He works at a practice not too far from here, so I’m going to give him a call and see if he can fit you in tonight, okay?”

“Ashton, I don’t know…” Ivy mumbled. She was desperate to get this sorted, but at the same time she still hated the dentist. At least when she saw her one, she knew what she was getting herself into. She didn’t know this Luke person. What if he tried murdering her mid-appointment?

As ridiculous as it sounded, Ivy was starting to become delusional from the pain. Mass-murdering dentists, in her mind, made perfect sense.

Consumed by these thoughts, Ivy hadn’t noticed that Ashton had ignored her and called anyway and was now speaking to someone on the other end of the phone.

“Ashton!” She hissed, trying to bat his cell phone out of his hand, but Ashton propelled himself on his spinny chair out of her reach before she could.

“Luke! Hey mate, how are you! Good, good, yeah, I’m good thanks, I was actually just calling to ask for a favour. Yeah, my friend, Ivy, I’ve mentioned her before, she’s got this awful toothache, been bothering her for days, but her dentist can’t see her until next Friday. Any chance you could see her tonight after she gets off work? I know it’s a big ask but she’s in absolute agony…. okay! Yeah, that’s perfect. You’re a lifesaver mate, thank you so much. I’ll see you Tuesday night, yeah? Brilliant. Okay mate, see you later, bye.”

And with that Ashton had ended the call and spun back over to his side of the desk. Ivy, dumbfounded, stared at him, waiting for him to update her in way as to what had just happened.

Noticing her glare, Ashton jumped slightly.

“Oh yeah sorry, uh, Luke can’t see you tonight, but his friend Calum can, your appointments at six”

“Christ okay” Ivy loosed a breath, half relieved and now also half bubbling with nerves. “Thanks, I guess”

“Hey, I know you’re scared and me saying this won’t make any kind of difference, but you’re going to be absolutely fine, I promise. I’ve actually met Calum a few times on nights out, and he’s a really lovely guy, super friendly and I’ve heard through Luke that he’s regarded as some sort of prodigy in the dental world of Manhattan. Proper smart dude so I can ensure you you’re in the best of hands. Plus, he’s attractive, like _really_ attractive, so at least you’ll have something nice to look at whilst you’re getting holes drilled into your mouth”

“ _Ashton_ ” Ivy snapped, a bolt of nausea whipping through her at his last words. Her plan was to spend the next nine hours doing anything _but_ think about the now-looming appointment.

“Sorry, sorry” He smirked. “Oh also, Luke told me he broke up with his girlfriend, like, last week, so I’m sure you’ll bond over your mutual trauma and misery”

The plastic coffee cup lid narrowly missed Ashton’s head.

~

As expected, the day dragged by, filled with laborious meetings and Ivy doing everything in her power to distract herself from the throbbing that seemed to be getting worse by the minute. However, by the time it came to 5pm, Ivy was suddenly convincing herself that she could probably just live with this toothache for the rest of her life, no need to go to the dentist. By 5:20, neither her or Ashton had left the office, Ivy out of fear and Ashton out of stubbornness, knowing she’d just go home if he left her here alone.

By 5:30, Ashton was dragging Ivy out of the building and towards the nearest subway.

“You’re going to be late! Did I not emphasise enough how _cute_ this dentist is?”

“Ashton I am not a child!” Ivy struggled against his grip as they fought all the way down the stairs. “You do not have to come with me, I can get there myself”

“Funnily enough, I don’t believe you” Ashton retorted, keeping his hand firmly around her waist as they went through the terminals and hopped onto the train that had just pulled up. “It’s a five-minute train from here, I’m going to make sure you go to that appointment even if it means travelling in the opposite direction to where I live. You need to get this sorted Ivy, I’m serious”

Knowing he was right, Ivy didn’t say another word for the rest of the journey, instead focussing on her breathing. She barely paid attention as they got off the train five minutes later, Ashton easily navigating her through crowded streets until they came to a stop. Looking up, Ivy saw that they were stood in front of a pristine white building, the plaque above the double doors reading:

“Hemmings and Hood

Dental Surgery”

“Alright, this is it” Ashton declared, rubbing his hands up and down Ivy’s arms. “You sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

“I’m sure” Ivy replied quickly. The less people in that room to witness her squirm and (probably) cry, the better.

“Okay” Ashton said softly, smiling reassuringly down at her before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “Ring me when you get out and I’ll come and get you okay? You’re going to be fine, I promise” He said firmly, bringing her in for one final hug before he walked off back in the direction of the subway. Ivy’s heart warmed at the idea that Ashton had purposefully extended his commute home just to make sure she got here okay. If he wasn’t _Ashton_ , she wouldn’t mind the idea of dating him.

Ivy shrugged this thought off with a giggle of disgust, taking one last deep breath before she walked through the glass double doors and into reception.

It was quiet. Peaceful, almost. Ivy wasn’t sure what else she’d been expecting but it was a pleasant surprise, calming her nerves only minutely as she walked up to the black marble desk.

She was met by a pretty, dark skinned girl, a few years older than her by the looks of it who smiled as she reached the desk.

“Hi lovely! Are you here for an appointment?”

“Uh, yeah, my friend actually made the appointment for me, it was all a bit last minute. It’s with someone called Calum? I didn’t get his last name, I’m sorry”

“Oh, not at all, no need to apologise! That’s Doctor Hood, him and my boyfriend, Doctor Hemmings own this practice. If you just wanted to fill this form out for me and take a seat, he’ll be out in a minute he’s just finishing up with a patient”

Encouraged by this girl’s pure friendliness, Ivy managed a quiet ‘thank you’ as she took the forms and quickly filled them out, putting them back on the desk before sitting down in the corner. Her knee bounced erratically as she peered around at the various posters and notices along the walls. Why were dentist office posters always so threatening? At this thought, her tooth spiked painfully, and Ivy jolted, whimpering slightly. Only seconds later, as if to add to her distress, a high-pitched whining noise began to emanate from behind the white door just past reception.

Ivy’s blood went ice cold.

Gingerly, she lowered her head down to her knees, ignoring the glances from the two other patients in the waiting room as she tried desperately to block the noise out. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears and was on the brink of throwing up just as the noise stopped. Relieved, and realising she had been on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, Ivy moved her head from her knees to her hands, resting her elbows on her legs as she breathed in deeply, in and out, in and out. Another few minutes passed, and she heard the click of a door opening, followed by footsteps. She was aware of two people conversing by the desk, something along the lines of ‘thank you’ and ‘should be feeling better by tomorrow morning’ and ‘take care of yourself’, but Ivy kept her eyes trained firmly on the floor. She heard someone leave the building and someone else ask the receptionist who their next patient was. The voice was deep, and sounded oddly familiar, but Ivy couldn’t place it and just blamed it on her hysteria over being here. She wasn’t given any more time to prepare herself as a throat was cleared and the deep voice called out:

“Ivy Wick?”

Slowly, she raised her head, and suddenly the floor felt like it was about to give out from underneath her as her eyes met a pair of brown ones that she recognised instantly.

The stranger she had hooked up with that night hadn’t been called Chris.

He was called Calum.

The same Calum that had just called out her name and was now standing at the entrance to his office, looking probably just as shocked as she was.

And just like that, Ivy remembered everything.


	6. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update!! The same as the last chapter but from Calum's point of view :)

**_Calum’s POV_ **

****

Calum’s day had been mind-numbingly boring.

He’d had a grand total of five patients the entire day, none of which had come in for anything more than a check-up. Granted, he was glad that Manhattan as a whole seemed to be taking better care of their teeth, but it made his job a lot duller.

In an odd way, he enjoyed doing the occasional root canal, a tooth extraction here and there. He was taking away his patient’s pain, and it kept his mind occupied at the same time.

Occupied on things other than Bella.

He felt his heart twinge at just the thought of her name.

They’d broken up for good reason.

They didn’t love each other anymore.

(Something that they had both screamed at each other several times).

But nonetheless, the image of her that was permanently ingrained into his mind only seemed to grow more beautiful with every day that passed. Wasn’t it supposed to do the opposite? Wasn’t she supposed to be slowly fading from his memory by now? It had been a week since he’d ended it, a week since he’d seen her and a week since he’d began occupying Luke’s sofa at night, waiting for her to move all of her stuff out back into her own place.

Calum had never had this problem before. He’d be with someone else almost always less than a week after a breakup, said ex gone from his mind. But this time was different, annoyingly. Maybe it was because instead of dating her for a few months like usual, he had dated her for three years, and then slept with someone the same night they’d ended it. He had lived with her. Shared a bed with her. He had considered proposing to her. He had loved her.

And now it was all over.

His own fault.

Feeling tears prick at his eyes, Calum shook his head slightly, clearing his thoughts as he focused back to the patient beneath him, the drill in his hand still quietly working away at one of her molars.

_Jesus Christ Calum, the one interesting procedure you’ve gotten to do all day and you’re not even concentrating!_

Clearing his throat, Calum tilted his patient’s head ever so slightly as he carried on.

“Still doing okay?” He asked, as if he hadn’t been completely blacked out for the last thirty seconds.

Aubrey, a bleach-blonde fifteen-year-old that had been under his care since he’d started this practice (two years ago), gave him a wobbly thumbs up. He smiled back through his mask, carrying on gently as she let out a shaky breath. He knew he wasn’t hurting her, despite what the dried mascara under her eyes suggested. There had been a few tears at the start of the appointment, something about a skinny seventeen-year-old who was ‘like, totally the love of her life’, but had been seen kissing another girl at a party last weekend. Obviously heartbroken, she hadn’t especially been in the mood for a check-up, a check-up that apparently neither of her lawyer-parents ‘had time to come to’, so she’d had to come here straight from school, on the subway, alone. It had taken a good twenty minutes of consoling for Calum to actually get Aubrey into the chair, and once he’d pointed out that she had a cavity he needed to fill (something that Aubrey had never had to have done before), she’d lost it all over again. Another twenty minutes had passed and now here they were, Aubrey almost falling asleep, Calum having to use his free hand to hold her head upright.

 _“All that crying really took it out of her”_ He thought to himself, humming quietly as he turned the drill off and moved onto the next part of the procedure. His heart really ached for the girl. He remembered what it was like to be young and in love. Well, technically he was still young, but he meant _young_ young. Getting your heart broken at fifteen was always a dramatic affair, Calum remembered it feeling like your world had ended. It still felt like that now, at 25, but you just got a bit better at hiding it.

“Okay, you’re all done sweetheart” He murmured as he finished, tapping her chin lightly to bring her back as he sat the chair up, slipping his gloves and mask off. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”

“Guess not” She mumbled back, frowning and rubbing her cheek. Calum laughed softly and brought her hand away from her face, knowing it would ache in the morning if she kept doing that.

“I don’t want you to beat yourself up about this, okay? Everyone gets something at some point, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about” Aubrey nodded, smiling weakly as he continued. “And also, I know that you’re not going to believe a word of this, but that whiny loser that broke your heart? He is not worth your tears. At all. You’re going to look back on this time in a few months, maybe even a few weeks, and realise how stupid it all was. That’s not me invalidating how you feel right now, because I know exactly how you feel, and it sucks, but I’m just telling you that it’s going to get better. Trust me.”

“Thank you, Calum” Aubrey replied quietly, her voice beginning to wobble again. “I really do mean that. My parents have been too busy to care about this kind of thing recently, and all my friends are my age, so they don’t have anything helpful to say about it. You’re the first person I’ve properly spoken to since it happened, and you’ve seriously made me feel a lot better about it so, just, yeah. Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it sweetheart” He smiled, squeezing her arm lightly as they both stood. He really felt for the poor girl. No wonder she’d been in such a state earlier. All those emotions bottled up in such a small body wasn’t healthy.

He saw her falter for a second, wringing her hands nervously. “C-can I have a hug? I know that’s probably inappropriate but I just-I don’t know…”

Calum was almost certain he wasn’t allowed to hug patients. Especially the ones that were fifteen-year-old girls. But he supposed an exception could be made just this once. He couldn’t exactly say no to her, and to be honest, he could really use a hug too.

“Of course, Aubrey, hey, come here” He cooed as he saw her tearing up again. She practically fell against his chest, small cries shaking her entire body as Calum wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. He didn’t remember her being this tiny, and Calum wondered worriedly if she’d stopped eating because of this whole boy situation. Sighing, he rested his chin on the top of her head, making a mental note to call her parents just to make sure they were making sure that she was staying healthy.

Eventually, she pulled away, rubbing her eyes and giving him an embarrassed smile.

“Okay?” He asked.

“Yeah” She nodded firmly, grinning as Calum ruffled her hair and led her out to reception.

He was glad he only had one more appointment after this. When Luke had asked him this morning to take a look at one of his friend’s friends with a toothache, he’d happily obliged, excited at the prospect of something to do other than cleanings. And he still was happy to, of course, just that after he’d spent the last forty-five minutes with a crying fifteen-year-old, he kind of just wanted to go back to Luke’s sofa and sleep the rest of the evening away.

As Aubrey was signing out with Sierra and paying with her dad’s credit card, Calum scanned the nearly empty waiting room. There were three people sat down, two of which he knew were Luke’s, leaving him to study the girl in the far-left corner. He couldn’t see her face due to it being buried within her hands, her auburn hair in a messy topknot and her knee bouncing rapidly.

 _“Nervous patient”_ He noted to himself mentally. Phobia of the dentist was a common thing, and Calum saw it in his patients almost daily. He liked to think that he made the experience a pleasant one, or at least reduced the fear factor somewhat, and this would be no different. If she was in as much pain as Luke said she was, she would be with him for the next hour at least, and no doubt terrified out of her mind at the thought of what could happen to her during that time. Calum’s heart softened at that. He hated this part of the job, but if he could manage to lessen someone’s fear, even slightly, he’d be happy.

He waved Aubrey goodbye, giving her one final fist bump before he leaned over the desk to ask Sierra for the name of his next patient.

“It’s Ivy Wick, she’s new” Sierra replied, handing him her file as he stood upright again.

 _Ivy Wick?_ He thought. It sounded familiar but he didn’t know where from.

“Ivy Wick?” He called out, watching as the girl in the corner’s head shot upright.

Calum’s heart dropped.

It was the girl from the bar.

The girl he had slept with.

And she was looking at him with the exact same expression of horror that was no doubt plastered across his own face.


	7. five

**_Calum’s POV_ **

_Was this some kind of sick joke?_  
  
Calum wasn’t entirely sure how long they had been stood there staring at each other, but he imagined it was probably longer than what was considered normal. It wasn’t until Sierra lightly cleared her throat that he jumped, cheeks flushed strawberry red as he managed a half-friendly, half-mortified smile.

“Uh, if you could follow me, just through here” He rushed out, standing by the door as Ivy stumbled slightly, keeping her eyes trained at the floor as she smiled quickly and walked through into his office.

“Calum” Sierra called just as he went to follow her. He spun around, flashing an ‘everything’s fine’ grin with eyes a little too wide as Sierra smirked.

“That’s her, isn’t it”

Calum could do nothing but nod.

“Have fun” She teased, winking as Calum felt his cheeks flare once again, rushing to shut the door.

Once inside, he turned, only to bump straight into Ivy, who let out a startled squeak.

“God, sorry” He swore, mentally cursing this entire clinic and its tiny rooms. He was far too bulky to be in a space so small.

“It’s okay, my fault” She smiled weakly, moving to the side to let him pass, their shoulders brushing momentarily.

_This is going to be horrendous._

“Take a seat, please, make yourself comfortable” He gestured, sitting at his own stool and watching her from the corner of his eye as she took a deep breath before lowering herself into the chair beside him.

Right, so they were both sat down. What was he supposed to do now?

Calum, always a believer of approaching problems head on, decided to just rip the band aid off.

“Um…Hi” He breathed out, letting out a laugh as Ivy visibly relaxed, laughing quietly too.

“Hello” She smiled, and Calum detected a British accent he didn’t remember from last time. There was a lot, he noticed, that he didn’t remember from that night. Of course, he remembered the majority of what they’d _done_ , but he was only just now getting a proper look at her face.

She was pretty.

 _Really_ pretty.

She had a slim, chiselled face, the kind that wasn’t considered ‘typically’ beautiful, but had a kind of unusual and fairy-like look to it that drew you in. Her cheeks were flushed a light pink, no doubt mirroring his own, and Calum noticed the right one looked slightly swollen, no doubt the reason she was here. She was dressed in a mismatch of clothes that most definitely wasn’t intentional, but Calum thought it gave her an effortless, authentic look. The clothes were an array of blacks, browns and deep reds, which matched coincidentally with the mass of auburn curls piled on top of her head in a ragged bun. There was a dusting of freckles that travelled from her nose up both of her cheek bones to her ears, which were decorated in various silver piercings and dangly earrings. Her eyes were a deep, almost navy blue, outlined with a hint of grey. Beautiful, enchanting eyes, that were staring right back into his own.

_She was staring at him._

Calum realised he hadn’t said anything for several seconds.

“Hi” He began again, and Ivy smiled nervously, fiddling with a ring on her finger. “Um, listen, from the face you made back in reception I’m guessing you remember me, and I remember you too, and I just wanted to say that I know you’re probably mortified right now but I want to reassure you that I’m a professional and I’m not going to make this any more uncomfortable for you than it needs to be. What we did was stupid; it was nice, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve never done that before and I’d rather we just put the whole thing behind us. You’re here because you’re in pain and all I want to do is to help you, and I’m sure you’re a lovely person, so could we, like, just start again?” He rushed out, sighing a breath of relief as Ivy nodded.

“I am so glad you said that” She murmured, earning a laugh from him. “You seem like a lovely person too, so I’d like to just start over. Hi, I’m Ivy” She smiled, holding a hand out to him.

“Calum, lovely to meet you” He smiled back, shaking her hand.

Well, at least some of the tension had been resolved. This would still be awkward, no doubt, they couldn’t just _forget_ that they’d slept together. But still, it was nice to know that they were on the same page about it.

“So, what brings you in today?” He asked, reaching for her file on the side as she cleared her throat.

“Um, well, for the past week or so I’ve had a really bad toothache. Me and my boyfriend have been fighting a lot, and I’ve kind of gotten stuck in this slump, let myself go a bit, haven’t really been looking after myself, you know? I know that that’s not an excuse, it’s my fault entirely, but just, yeah, I couldn’t go see my dentist because she didn’t have a space until next week and I couldn’t wait any longer, it…” She inhaled sharply, her voice becoming teary. “It really hurts”

Calum ignored the little flare of disappointment that sparked through him at the mention of her ‘boyfriend’. He sighed as she squeezed her eyes shut, embarrassed.

“That’s okay, I can take a look for you and we’ll get it sorted out, yeah?” He smiled reassuringly, slipping gloves on before asking if he could feel along her jaw. She nodded but tensed nonetheless as he gently felt both sides. Satisfied, he moved back, writing a few notes before turning back to her.

“Because you’re a new patient I have to take an x-ray, it’ll just take a minute and then we’ll get started”

She nodded again, staying quiet as he quickly took the x-ray and paged for Sierra to send them over when they were ready.

The longer neither of them spoke, the quicker the awkwardness started to creep back, and soon enough Calum was back to square one, trying desperately to look anywhere but at the faded purple mark on Ivy’s neck.

The mark he remembered leaving there all too well.

_Good God get it together you idiot._

“Chair’s going back” He mumbled, slipping his mask on but leaving it on his chin as he flipped the light on above her and angled it to where he needed. He could see her whole body tense as she tried to get comfy, her eyes darting around the room at the various instruments she knew would soon be in her mouth.

Calum desperately wanted to comfort her, but he also didn’t want it to look like he was flirting.

_She’s not going to think you’re flirting! She’s scared out of her mind; she’d appreciate it a Hell of a lot more than if you just stayed quiet._

“Hey, take a deep breath for me, I’m not going to hurt you” He reminded her as he pulled up the documents he needed on the computer before slipping his mask on. “I’m only looking right now, so could you open, and we’ll get started?”

Calum watched quietly as she breathed in like he’d asked, before breathing out and opening her mouth tentatively, her eyes fluttering shut at the same time. He picked up a mirror from the tray beside him, using his finger to open her mouth a little wider as he started. He made quick work of it, moving back to the computer every couple teeth to add information and to give Ivy a breather, regretting his decision to send his assistant home early. He noticed that Sierra had sent the x-ray through so once he finished, he pulled it up, immediately noticing a deep cavity in the top right-hand corner. Sighing, he took it off the screen again before Ivy saw and turned back to her.

“You’re doing really well, just a couple more minutes and then we’ll have a chat” He said, keeping her mouth open with his finger as he picked up an explorer and carried on. He gave her pointers as he went around and could feel her getting embarrassed, so he stopped and gave her a quick cleaning, avoiding the tooth altogether so as not to hurt her. He could see Ivy was more relaxed now, so he picked up the explorer again and tilted her head slightly, resting his hand on her chin.

“Please don’t touch it” She whimpered; her eyes already screwed shut again.

“I’m going to have to touch it a little bit so I can figure out what’s wrong, but it won’t hurt, okay?” He sighed, angling her head again and keeping it there as she’d moved it. Carefully, he examined the tooth a little closer, feeling her flinch as he scraped it lightly. Not wanting to aggravate it anymore, he moved back, putting his tools down as he moved the chair up and printed off the x-rays.

“Right, I’m not going to lie to you, that cavity’s a bad one, so what I’m going to do is…are you okay?”

Ivy had started to cry.

And Calum wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do.

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

This was quite possibly the worst day of Ivy’s life so far.

She was a mess, looked like a deer caught in headlights, was in a ridiculous amount of pain, and she’d slept with the same guy who was about to have his fingers in her mouth.

 _And,_ on top of all that, said guy was _incredibly_ attractive.

She couldn’t even look at him as she’d walked past him into his office, her cheeks burning even redder as he’d walked into her from behind. She didn’t dare to look at his face until he started saying what she’d been desperate to say, how he wasn’t going to make this awkward and he’d rather just start again. She found herself studying him as he spoke, the way his full lips were curved into an embarrassed smile. His skin was smooth, the colour of honey, with the smallest amount of stubble shadowing his sharp jaw and cheekbones. His eyes were a deep brown, framed by thick eyebrows. Ivy noticed a small freckle on his right cheek, cheeks that were round, cheeks that she kind of wanted to reach out and squish (she didn’t). They were either side of a prominent nose, which normally Ivy wouldn’t like but somehow it suited him, and Ivy felt her cheeks burn redder. His hair was black and curly like she’d remembered, longer on top and short at the sides, and she was reminded of what it had felt like to run her fingers through those same curls. And his arms….

_What she would give to have those arms wrapped around her thighs again._

She jumped as this thought crossed her mind, realising that Calum had now finished speaking and was waiting for her to respond. She replied, thanking him and staying quiet as he felt along her jaw and took an x-ray. She had started to feel calmer again until they had drifted back into awkward silence, and she was silently panicking once more as the chair started to go down. Her eyes couldn’t help but fixate on the drill to the left of her, and she was vaguely aware of Calum saying words of reassurance that went in one ear and straight out the other. Looking up at him, she realised that he was ready to start, waiting for her to open her mouth. He had been a little intimidating before, but now, sitting above her with a mask on that covered his features up to his eyes, he was downright terrifying. Handsome, yes, but still terrifying. Her eyes flicked to his left arm, littered in tattoos and fitting snugly within his scrubs. He could snap her neck in two without much effort, and Ivy realised she wasn’t sure if she was frightened or turned on.

 _“Probably both”_ she thought, fighting back a laugh at how ridiculous she was being as she opened her mouth.

She immediately wanted to stop. Ivy wasn’t sure if it was the cold metal against her cheek, or the hot dude leaning over her or the latex-clad fingers that were running themselves along her gums. Either way, she could feel a familiar knot forming in her stomach, making her squirm slightly. She hoped she wasn’t coming across as scared as she was as he leaned back to type something onto her chart, mumbling to himself as he did. She noticed he’d been there for a couple seconds longer than the other times, so she looked back, only to see him frowning as he studied what she could only assume was her x-ray. He circled something in the top right corner before turning back to her, and Ivy swallowed, suddenly a lot more scared. She’d forgotten that she wasn’t just here for the pretty man to put his fingers in her mouth.

Calum mentioned something about a cleaning, Ivy nodding and opening her mouth again as he started tapping and scraping at various different areas. She berated herself for not taking better care of her teeth the past week, her cheeks burning as he carried on.

“Do you floss?” He asked, and Ivy could tell from the tone of his voice that he knew she didn’t. Not being able to give much of an answer with her mouth still open, she stayed quiet and heard Calum huff out a laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, most people don’t” He murmured, concentrating as he tilted her head up more, their eyes meeting for a split second. It was like every time they looked at each other or touched each other accidentally, a bolt of lightning coursed through Ivy’s veins.

She wasn’t sure what that meant.

“You need to brush more back here” He stated, using some sort of electric scaler thing now and the suction, making her jump. “-And a little more gently down here”

Ivy felt tears burning her eyes, embarrassed, but she blinked them back, willing herself to relax. She reminded herself that this was his job, and he was totally unphased, unlike herself.

Eventually he stopped cleaning and picked up the explorer again, Ivy whimpering as he did. He had assured her he wasn’t going to hurt her, but she was tense, nonetheless.

 _‘Frightened or aroused?’_ flashed through her mind again.

She felt Calum pull her cheek back, holding her head in place so she couldn’t move it.

_Definitely aroused._

Her eyes watered as he took a closer look, but she knew he was being as gentle as he could. Within seconds, he had finished and pulled away, sitting the chair up.

She watched him as he printed off the x-ray and studied it again, a crease forming between his eyebrows as he exhaled worriedly, his eyes flicking to the drill for a split second.

Ivy was suddenly very aware of what was about to happen to her.

And she wasn’t sure if she could actually do it.

Tears were spilling down her face before she could stop them, her breaths becoming shorter as she felt her heart rate increasing, the knot in her stomach completely evaporated. She could dimly hear Calum beginning to explain his diagnosis, but he stopped as soon as he saw her face. This made Ivy cry harder, knowing he was now probably just as uncomfortable as she was.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, this is so embarrassing, I can just leave if you want- “

“Ivy stop, look at me” He said, moving closer slightly. She looked up at him shakily, recognising sympathy in his eyes, not annoyance. “I want you to take a deep breath, like this, okay?” He demonstrated, signalling for her to follow as he did the same thing again. Chest aching, Ivy copied him, breathing in and out until she felt calm enough to stop crying, the odd sniff escaping. Having calmed her down (quicker than Dylan had ever managed to do, she realised), he moved back slightly, giving her space as he smiled.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologise for and you’re not going anywhere. I’m going to fix this, okay? I’m not going to hurt you” Ivy’s eyes flicked back to the drill again as he said this and he sighed, placing a hand on her knee. “I know, it’s horrible, I hate it too, but it’s not going to hurt you.”

“How can you hate it, surely you use it every day?”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of it. Dentists get cavities too you know” He smiled as she laughed quietly, becoming slightly less frightened at the sound of this mildly ridiculous confession. “An hour from now you’re going to be walking out of this room pain-free and you won’t have to sit in that chair again for another six months, I promise. That is, of course, if you’re willing to stay as my patient after today. I know it was kind of awkward at first, but I saw on your file you used to be under Melville Dentistry and my _God_ they really are awful, I’ve got to be better than them” He finished with a smirk, causing Ivy to laugh again, agreeing with him. He was right, it had been awkward at first, but they seemed to be getting along okay now, and she had to admit, he was the best dentist she’d ever been to, having not hurt her or embarrassed her through his own fault.

“I’d like that” She sniffed, but groaning as her mind drifted back to something else he’d said: ‘ _An hour from now’._

“You’re going to do a root canal, aren’t you” She whimpered.

The grin on his face faded, and he looked at her sadly.

“I am, yeah” He sighed, giving her knee a light squeeze as she blinked tears back again. “But, like I said, it won’t hurt. Besides, you’ve seen me naked, can’t be much worse than that” He finished, laughing as Ivy gasped, her cheeks burning red.

“Kidding, sorry” He giggled as he started to move back behind her.

“You’re funny” She said sarcastically, still blushing as she leant back into the chair.

“I like to think so” He grinned as he moved the chair down, slipping on a new pair of gloves and a mask. “Reckon I can give you the numbing shot?”

Ivy faltered slightly at that, noticing the rather big needle on the tray that was now beside her head. Nodding, she took a deep breath as she opened her mouth, letting Calum rub what felt like numbing gel on her gums before he lifted her lip up, making sure he knew which tooth it was.

“It’s just a small pinch” He reassured, and Ivy rolled her eyes at him as he got it ready.

“That’s a lie”

“You’re right, sorry” He laughed, now bringing the needle closer towards her as she swallowed. “This is going to be the worst part though, I promise. And it won’t be as bad as you think. Ready?”

Groaning but nodding anyway, Ivy opened her mouth and let Calum pull her cheek back, tensing as she felt the point of it lightly touch her gums.

“On three” He murmured, and Ivy held her breath, waiting. “One, two...”

He did it on two, catching Ivy off guard as she yelped slightly, unable to move as Calum had her head in a slight grip.

 _‘Aroused, again’_ She thought momentarily, her eyes watering at the needle that was _still_ inside her mouth.

“Almost there, almost there” Calum reassured, making sure to give her a little extra anaesthetic than usual just to be sure she wouldn’t be in pain before he pulled away. “Let me know when that’s set in”

“You lied” Ivy grumbled, tapping her cheek that was already starting to feel fuzzy.

“Element of surprise” He replied whilst he tampered with the chair’s height, Ivy’s head now almost in his lap (which in Ivy’s mind, wasn’t the worst thing in the world). “If I had done it when I’d told you I was going to do it, you would’ve worked yourself up too much and it would’ve hurt more”

“That makes zero sense” Ivy slurred, her voice lisping slightly as Calum snorted.

“Can’t argue with science” He replied, leaning over her to bring the stand with the drill and suction on closer. “Sounds like you’re ready?”

Suddenly Ivy’s throat began to close up again and she shook her head rapidly.

“I can’t do this”

“You can, you don’t even have to do anything you just have to lay there” He suggested, but Ivy wasn’t having any of it, so Calum tried again. “Open for me, I want to show you something” He said, and Ivy opened her mouth, tensing as he started doing something that she absolutely could not feel.

“Feel that?”

“Feel what?” She grumbled.

“I’m using an explorer to scrape where the cavity is” He said, and Ivy’s eyes widened. “If I was doing this without anaesthetic you’d be in agony, probably more so than if I was using a drill. Feel better about it now?”

He was right, that had made her feel better about it, but she was still frightened.

“I just…. ugh” She rubbed her face with her hands, feeling Calum come round to the side of her. “I hate how out of control I feel, I think that’s what’s getting to me. I have absolutely zero control in this situation, and that terrifies me”

Calum was quiet for a moment, thinking, before he sat up straighter, a lightbulb clearly going off in his mind.

“I have an idea” He said as he reached over her, picking up the suction and the drill at the same time. Ivy shrunk back, unsure of what he was doing as he held the suction out to her.

“Relax, I’m not doing anything” He reassured. “How would you feel about holding the suction whilst I do the rest? You get a little more control that way, plus you’d be helping me out a lot, as you can see my assistant is nowhere to be seen” He joked, causing her to laugh slightly before nodding hesitantly.

“Okay then” He said, moving back behind her as he handed her the suction and gently guided her mouth open. “So, I just need you to hold it here, and at that angle, that’s it” Calum gently took her hand in his as he moved her arm to where he needed it. Ivy felt her heart fluttering at the contact, and felt it hammering when he rubbed his thumb lightly against her hand before moving away.

She wished Dylan had this effect on her.

 _‘Not the time’_ She thought, bracing herself as Calum switched the suction on.

“Okay I’m going to start now” He said, and Ivy’s heart started beating hard for a different reason. He gently angled her head more towards him, sending a smile her way which she returned before bringing the light closer. “Stop me if you need to”

Ivy shut her eyes as she heard the drill turn on, knowing she’d start crying if she didn’t. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt Calum pull her cheek back, a weird sensation beginning to course through the tooth as he started.

“Easy, easy” He shushed her as her chest began to rise and fall a little faster. “I know it feels a bit strange, but you’ll get used to it in a minute”

Sure enough, he was right, and within a couple moments Ivy was feeling more relaxed. Not totally relaxed, but she could tolerate it. Every so often Calum would use his free hand to guide hers back towards the tooth where she had drifted, rubbing his thumb against her wrist as he did. Ivy told herself he was just doing it to check her pulse, although she wasn’t entirely convinced, cheeks flushing red, nonetheless.

After about ten minutes, Calum was still drilling and Ivy was growing fidgety, her arm starting to ache from holding the suction. She didn’t think it was noticeable until Calum stopped, looking down at her with an eyebrow raised, amused.

“Your arm’s aching, isn’t it”

“Maybe”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it” He laughed, gently taking the suction from her as he went to carry on. Panicking momentarily, Ivy lifted her right arm up, accidentally grabbing hold of Calum’s bicep as he faltered.

“Woah, you okay?”

“Um, yeah, just feeling a little vulnerable now I’m not holding anything, I don’t know” She mumbled. “Sorry for grabbing your arm”

“It’s okay, you can keep it there for now, I don’t mind” Calum reassured, smirking as she rolled her eyes. “Just be careful though, remember I have a drill in this hand” He warned, half joking as Ivy swallowed and let him carry on.

She was aware of the fact that her fingernails were digging into his skin as he worked, which probably wasn’t hurting him, but she was embarrassed nonetheless, reminded of a similar situation from that night. She found herself not caring, taking comfort in the fact that she had slight control over the hand that was drilling a tiny hole into her tooth. If he started hurting her, she could knock his arm away, although he probably wouldn’t be too pleased with that.

Again, her arm was aching after a while, so she reluctantly let go and put both hands in her lap, fiddling with her rings. She heard Calum say that he was almost done with this part, and soon enough the drill was being turned off and put back on its stand.

“Halfway there now” he said, as he picked up the mirror and something else she couldn’t place. “Just keep breathing”

Whatever he was doing, it felt horrible. Worse than the drill. She could feel it pulsing through her whole face, making her eyes water before he stopped, Ivy letting out a breath.

“Ivy”

“Mm?”

“I’m giving you more anaesthetic okay?” He said, not really giving her a chance to respond as he got the needle ready.

“Why?”

“Because you’re clearly in pain! You should’ve told me it had worn off; I would’ve given you more gladly”

Ivy furrowed her brows, confused.

“Is it not supposed to feel like that?”

“God, no! What kind of dentist do you take me for?” He laughed, quickly giving her the shot and shushing her as she whined.

“Thank you” She mumbled, secretly grateful that he’d numbed her again.

“Don’t worry about it” He smiled, tilting her head back again. “Open for me, we’re nearly there now”

Ivy didn’t bother to guess how much time had passed, but eventually she felt the chair moving up and heard Calum snapping his gloves off behind her. Relieved, she stood, overcome almost immediately with the worst headrush she’d ever experienced.

“Woah, woah” Calum swore, holding her upright as she swayed. “My bad, should’ve told you to sit up slowly. Feel okay?” He asked, his hands still holding her sides gently.

Ivy nodded, poking at her tooth that she still couldn’t feel with her tongue, making Calum laugh. A slight ache was beginning to creep along her jaw, but she knew for sure this time that it’d be gone by tomorrow.

“Don’t do that, you’ll make it hurt more” He joked, moving back slightly as he wrote something down on a slip of paper. “Stick to soft foods for tonight and all of tomorrow. Go out to reception when you leave and Sierra will book you an appointment for six months’ time if you still want to, if not I’ll try not to be too upset about it” He grinned. “If you get any problems, any pain just call the clinic and I’ll fit you in as soon as I can, or you can just ring me on my number” He finished, handing her the slip of paper.

“I don’t have your number?” Ivy frowned, before looking down at the note and seeing digits scrawled across it.

“You do now” He said, before reassuring her as Ivy looked at him uneasily. “That’s not me hitting on you, I promise. Most of my patients have my number, it’s for emergencies only, okay?” He grinned as she smiled back, convinced.

“Okay, well, thank you, I guess” Ivy started, unsure of how to leave this situation. “Seriously, what you’ve done today has helped a lot, so just… yeah. I’m very grateful.” She finished, hitting his arm lightly to which Calum frowned, laughing.

_Christ I’m so awkward._

“No worries, it’s my job” He smiled, their eyes lingering on each other for a second. “Now, seriously, get out. I have an ex-girlfriend I need to go and get my spare key off of” He joked, but Ivy noticed the ember of sadness in his eyes. She remembered Ashton mentioning he’d broken up with his girlfriend recently and her heart ached for him. He was probably broken to pieces on the inside, and yet he’d still been so friendly and gentle, so attentive.

“Right, sorry, yeah, um… I’ll be going then. See you, thank you again” She smiled, turning on her heel to look back at him one last time before she shut the door behind her, Calum mumbling a ‘take care’ as she left.

Walking back towards reception, she texted Ashton saying she’d finished and also saved Calum’s number into her phone. She smiled at the little thrill that went through her as she looked at the new contact, not caring about the aching in her jaw or the thought that she had just spent the best part of an hour in a tiny room with the guy she cheated on Dylan with.

She didn’t care about any of it.

And she was in too high spirits to bother to ask herself why.


	8. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: emotional abuse / manipulation

“She lives!” Ashton cheered as Ivy climbed into the car, throwing him a small smile. “How was it?”

“I fucked your friend Calum”

Ashton nearly crashed the car.

“You-you _what_? Just now? Did you do it in his chair?”

“No, you idiot, not just now!” Ivy rolled her eyes, exasperated with her friend and his dramatics. “The guy I hooked up with at the bar. That was Calum”

“No. fucking. way.”

“Very much way”

“Are you serious? Was it not awkward?”

“At first, yeah” She mumbled, wincing at the ache that was now starting to grow as the numbing wore off. “Almost legged it out the front door when I recognised him. But we went into his office, had a chat and everything was mostly fine. He’s a really good doctor, actually, and sweet, like you said.”

Ashton was quiet, and Ivy could feel his side-eye glaring into her.

“Mostly fine?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, like…” Ivy trailed off, not sure how to word it. “There might have been a bit of ‘tension’ at times on my part”

“Sexual tension?” Ashton asked, his voice growing louder with every syllable.

“Perhaps” She responded quietly, flinching as Ashton howled.

“I _told_ you he was good looking! I mean, we know now that you already knew that, but still! You lucky dog” He grinned, before flipping off someone who’d cut in front of him.

“Ashton you are forgetting that I have a boyfriend” Ivy warned, and added, quieter: “He gave me his number too”

Ashton’s screech was ear splitting.

“Calm down you idiot! He said he gives his phone number to all his patients, it’s for emergencies”

“Oh, do me a favour” Ashton laughed out and Ivy turned to him, confused. Catching her expression, Ashton rolled his eyes and carried on.

“Dentists do not give out their phone numbers to their patients. That’s what receptionists are for” Ashton said matter-of-fact. “He’s obviously into you and he’s hoping you’ll message him”

Ivy was shocked for a moment, realising Ashton was probably right.

“Yeah, well, even if that is true, I’m not going to. I’m dating Dylan, it wouldn’t be right” Ivy said, more so to herself as she began to spiral, and carried on. “God, I should never have gone there. I should’ve just waited ‘til next Friday. Now, not only have I cheated on my boyfriend, but I’ve also just spent the past hour with the dude I cheated with fingers in my mouth” she finished with a huff, hitting the dashboard of Ashton’s car with her fist and then scowling.

“Take it easy, you’re being too hard on yourself” Ashton said after a second, the teasing in his voice gone. “You haven’t done anything wrong today. You were in pain and you got it sorted. You know how I feel about Dylan and how I really don’t think he’s any good for you, but even if I didn’t think that this Calum guy sounds way more up your street anyway”

“Will you stop with that? You’re supposed to be my friend, you’re supposed to support me, not pressure me constantly to break up with my boyfriend, that’s not right. Yes, he’s not good for me; we fight constantly; I’m not happy; I don’t love him anymore, I _know_ all that, but I can’t break up with him just like that. You know I can’t Ashton, and it’s unfair of you to start acting like I’m someone who’s capable of doing that” Ivy snapped, her voice starting to wobble as she realised how painfully true all the things she’d just said were.

“You don’t love him?” Ashton asked quietly as he pulled up outside Ivy’s apartment. It was dark out, and the interior of the car was lit up by a flickering streetlight above them.

“I…”, Ivy wiped a tear off her face, looking down at her hands. “I haven’t for a long time” She admitted sadly. “But I can’t be alone. I know I have you and Leila etc. but it’s not the same. I’d be lonely. And with everything that goes on up here-“ She waved frantically at her head. “-I can’t do that. I can’t deal with it on my own. I just can’t”

“Okay, okay” Ashton shushed her, seeing she was getting in a state. “Just think about everything you’ve just said though, okay? I know that you think it’s terrifying, and that you’d be miserable, but do you honestly think you can be any more miserable than you already are? I don’t know, I just think things are going to go a very different way to how you think they will” He finished, giving her that small, knowing smile he always does.

“Okay” Ivy sniffed, throwing a small smile back. “I should probably go. Big evening of overthinking ahead of me” She laughed, but it was forced, and Ashton could tell. “Thank you for today” She sighed, pulling Ashton into a hug. “Any plans for tonigh?'

“Got a date” He grinned mischievously, and Ivy cried out excitedly.

“That KayKay girl again? I think you’ve got something good going there”

“Yeah, me too” He grinned. “Alright, I’ll see you later, love you”

“Love you too” Ivy smiled, climbing out the car as she headed towards the door of her building, watching Ashton speed off.

She managed to warm her hands enough to slip the key into the rusting lock and make her way up the stairs, cursing the broken lift as her energy seeped out of her with every flight. Living on the top floor had its perks for sure; her view was something Ivy would never get over. It was oddly peaceful too, the sounds of the City feeling so distant, almost like a lullaby.

But by God, her flat was a pain to get up to.

Letting out a breathless cheer as she finally reached her door, she realised it was unlocked. Panic coursed through her, her breath hitching as every possible scenario burst into her mind at once. Not thinking, Ivy walked through the door, reaching for her pepper spray in her bag as she did.

What she was not expecting was to see Dylan stood in the middle of her flat, candles lit on every possibly surface and a huge bouquet of roses in his hands.

“Surprise!” He yelled, striding over to her and crushing her in a hug.

“Dylan!” Ivy exclaimed, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. “What-what are you doing here??”

“Haven’t seen you all week, wanted to have a special evening just the two of us” He grinned, and that’s when Ivy noticed the trail of rose petals leading to her bedroom.

_Ugh._

“Where have you been anyway? Stayed late at the office or something? I was just going to show up at your door but when you didn’t answer after ten minutes, I let myself in and got a bit creative” He grinned, gesturing to the scene around them. “Missed you so much, baby” He said, voice lowered as his head dipped to kiss at her neck and jaw.

“Oh, Dylan, this is lovely it really is, but, um…” She felt his kisses falter as she swallowed. “I was actually late home because I was at the dentist, I had to have a root canal done and I’m really tired and in a lot of pain; I know it’s shit of me to say because you’ve done all this, but I really just want to go to bed, could we do something tomorrow night instead?” Ivy’s breath caught as she felt Dylan still completely as he pulled away, jaw clenched. She berated herself for apologising. She’d just had surgery! If Dylan had any common sense, he’d understand. Maybe even make her some soup.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He snapped, and Ivy fought the urge to roll her eyes.

 _‘Here we go’_ She thought to herself.

“I do all of this for you, even left work early to come over here from practically the other side of the City, and you’re saying _no_? You’re so fucking ungrateful, I can’t believe this!” He yelled, throwing his hands up, causing Ivy to flinch. Dylan noticed and barked out a laugh, taking a menacing step towards her.

“Don’t try and pull that shit” He growled, taking her jaw in his hands roughly, causing Ivy to cry out. “I thought we were going to make this work?” He whispered, their faces inches from each other. “I thought you loved me?”

“I do, Dylan…” She started.

“No, you don’t” He cut her off, and there were tears in his eyes now.

_Crocodile tears._

“You don’t give a shit about me. You never did. I do so _much_ for you, Ivy, and every time you just throw it back in my face. I’m done” He finished, running a thumb across her cheek before he pulled away, grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

Ivy panicked. She was torn. Half of her was screaming at her to just let him leave. He’d done this before; threatened her with leaving, and he did it because he knew she couldn’t bear to be without someone. He knew his power over her, and that she’d never leave. The thought of his hold on her made Ivy feel sick, and she so nearly shoved him out the door, slamming it in his face. But the other half was crying, tears running on the inside and down her own cheeks as she turned and saw the man who’s been by her side through so much turn his back on her. The man who’d given everything for her, made her laugh until she couldn’t breathe, hugged her whilst she sobbed on the bathroom floor.

She couldn’t live without him.

“Dylan, wait” She rasped, staggering towards him and spinning him around before he could leave. He turned, his expression hard, but Ivy noticed the pride in his eyes. He knew he’d won.

“I’m sorry” She whispered, and she hated herself for it. “I’m so sorry. You’re right; you do so much for me, and I’m so ungrateful. I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other all week; that’s my fault too. I know how much you love me, and if it’s possible I think I love you even more. I can’t live without you. I can’t. So, I’m sorry. I really, really am. Please let’s just…” She trailed off, grimacing as she ran her hands down his chest. “Let’s just go to bed” She finished, placing a soft kiss to his cheek, tasting the salty tears.

He was still for a moment, his hands running up and down her sides. Eventually, he sighed, kissing her back as he picked her up, arms hooked underneath her legs. Ivy’s mind flicked back to Calum doing the same thing, for a _second_ and she screwed her eyes shut, kissing Dylan harder and ignoring the tears that were still spilling from her eyes as he led them into her bedroom.

~

Afterwards, Dylan had rolled over and fallen asleep. No ‘I love you’, no aftercare, no hugs, nothing. Ivy was laying on her back, tears staining her cheeks, feeling more used than ever before. She hadn’t eaten anything, her makeup was still on, and she was _exhausted._ Emotionally and physically. She debated leaving, but remembered it was her apartment, and had nowhere to go.

She was trapped.

So, she lay there, silent tears slipping free occasionally as she stared at ceiling, picking apart every single decision that she’d ever made that had led up to this moment. Her jaw throbbed suddenly, and she suppressed a squeak, covering her mouth as Dylan shifted slightly before resuming his snoring. She suddenly remembered that she had Calum’s number, and her mind went quiet for a moment.

She shouldn’t.

She really, _really_ shouldn’t.

But she wanted to.

Badly.

Not hesitating for a second longer, Ivy grabbed her phone from the nightstand behind her and went to messages, thumbs hovering over the text box. What would she say? He had said it was for emergencies only, but after her conversation with Ashton, she was almost certain he had been lying. What was the worst that could happen?

Holding her breath, Ivy typed out a simple _‘Hey, it’s Iv_ y’, hitting send before she could stop herself.

Immediately, she started kicking herself. Was she seriously expecting him to reply? It was almost 2am, he was a busy guy, no doubt he’d be asleep already and wake up in the morning to a weird text that he’d probably just ignore.

Her phone buzzed; a new message come through.

Ivy didn’t bother to suppress the grin that flowered across her face as she read it.

_‘I thought I said emergencies only? Hey x’_


	9. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of toxic/abusive relationship

**_Calum’s POV_ **

Crimson leaves crunched underfoot as Calum strolled up the steps from the underground and towards Luke’s flat, his temporary home. A bitter wind tore through his hair once he reached the top step and Calum shivered, wrapping his jacket around him a little tighter. He had always found Autumn the most beautiful season, despite the cold; the sky a little dimmer, leaves in varieties of colours painting the sidewalks, low-lit apartments seeming that little bit extra cosy. It reminded him of the simpler, quieter moments of life – reading a dog eared novel in the comfiest corner of the sofa; waking up with the sun; hot coffee in a chipped mug; walks through calm but busy side streets after a long day at work.

_A lover’s auburn hair cascading across a white pillow, tangling in your fingers._

Calum faltered at this thought, mumbling an apology as his shoulder collided with a passer-by. Why was he still thinking about Ivy? Today’s events had been an odd coincidence, yes, but they were friends now, of sorts. Associates. Patient and doctor. Nothing more. And, on top of this, Ivy had a _boyfriend._ Albeit, from what little insight she’d given, it didn’t seem like a happy relationship, but who was he to pry? Up until last week he had been in the same position. Red haired one-night stands should be the last thing on his mind - he needed time to heal.

Shaking his head slightly, his thoughts unwillingly drifted back to Bella. Calum gripped the spare key that was now in his pocket harder, gaining little relief from the cold metal that bit into his palm.

It had been horrible, seeing her again.

He had heard from a mutual friend of theirs that she was doing fine. Completely. As if they’d broken up years ago. He had heard this from several different sources, actually, so was half expecting this unavoidable exchange to be somewhat easy.

It wasn’t.

He had knocked on the door to his _own_ apartment, the apartment that she was taking her precious time to move out of (it wasn’t like she had nowhere to go; she had her own place, approximately only a third of her belongings were at Calums). She had sent him a blunt text earlier that day, saying she’d finished moving out and had his key to give back. Arriving at his flat after work, she had opened the door for him, face tear stained, clothes looking days old. He had fought back an eye roll as she started crying again at the sight of him, a pathetic box only half full resting in her hands. There had been begging, yelling, crying (on both parts) and ended an hour later with Bella slapping Calum squarely across the cheek and storming out of the building, throwing her key at him over her shoulder. Calum had stood in the middle of his apartment for another twenty minutes in silence before deciding that he couldn’t sleep there tonight, locking the door behind him and heading back to Luke’s. Most of his stuff was there anyway. And Duke.

Calum bit tears back again as he replayed the ordeal in his mind, eyes staring through the heads of New Yorkers that hurried past him as he weaved through the crowds, his body on autopilot. He couldn’t comprehend how it had come to this. All the hate, all the hurt. There was a time in his life where he couldn’t imagine it without Bella, couldn’t picture a time before her and couldn’t stand the thought of a life without her. She had been his everything, and he had been hers, and suddenly it had all just _gone._ Calum winced as he recalled the past six months, the long nights, the almost daily screaming matches, the slammed doors, the dents in walls. He couldn’t even remember how it had started going downhill. It just had. It was like she’d become possessed by something, a demon so evil it was consuming her entirely and taking him down with it. He was with someone he no longer knew, no longer loved, and Calum had realised that if he didn’t get out now, he never would.

He recalled the manipulating, the kicking him to the sofa almost every night, the possessiveness, the blatant flirting with his friends right in front of him, the showing up at his office unexpectedly. The scratching, the slapping, the degrading.

He was never, ever going back.

But deep down, Calum knew he would give almost anything just to spend one more night with her. And he hated himself for it.

Pushing this thought from his mind, Calum looked up, noticing he was stood outside Luke’s building. He quickly went in, grateful for the dodgy heating in the hallway that today was on full, with no way of it being turned down. Sticking his spare key in the lock, he shouldered the door open, immediately being met with an excitable Duke and Petunia and a blend of smells wafting from the kitchen. He smiled, knowing if he’d miss anything from staying at Luke’s, it’d be Sierra’s cooking. Suspecting Luke would be in the kitchen with her, Calum kicked his shoes off, grabbing his duffel bag full of clothes from the sofa before heading to the bathroom to shower and change. He took longer than usual, letting the water run across his skin as if it could wash away today’s events. He got out eventually, throwing on his grey sweats and a black tank as he wandered through the flat to the kitchen, rubbing the droplets from his hair with a towel. Luke grinned when he saw him, but almost immediately his smile dropped. Calum wasn’t sure how, but he’d always been able to figure out when something was up.

“What’s wrong”

“Nothing, long day”

“Calum”

“I…ugh” Calum huffed, irked by the couple’s sympathetic stares. “I saw Bella after work. Had to get my spare key back. Wasn’t pretty.”

“Ah” Luke gave him an understanding nod, meaning he knew not to broach the subject. Luke was probably the only person that knew the full details of his and Bella’s grisly end. He knew Calum still fully hadn’t come to terms with the past six months, and Calum knew that when he was finally ready to talk, Luke would be there.

“So she’s all moved out? Took her long enough” Sierra muttered, causing Calum to laugh quietly.

“Yeah, she’s gone. I’ll go back to mine tomorrow, just couldn’t handle sleeping there tonight. Didn’t really want to sit in the midst of what happened, had to get out, just for tonight” Calum mumbled, earning another sympathetic smile from Luke, making him scowl.

“Don’t worry about it mate” Luke slapped his shoulder, and the three fell into comfortable silence for a while, the only sounds emanating from the pot on the stove. Calum was almost certain today’s ‘Ivy’ situation wasn’t going to be brought up, until the three of them were sat down eating and Luke piped up.

“So Sierra told me about your last patient today”

Calum’s eyes flicked to Sierra, fixing her with a glare as she smiled sweetly back at him.

“I sincerely hope you didn’t fuck in your chair”

“Oh my _God_ , Luke” Calum choked, Sierra cackling from opposite him. “I’m a professional”

“So what! Me and Sierra do it all the time”

Calum was at a loss for words.

“Since _when_?”

“Most recent was last week when I came in for a ‘cleaning’” Sierra said from behind her wine glass.

“I- _I was two rooms away!”_

“Oh, get over yourself” Luke giggled, a glance being shared between him and Sierra. “You didn’t even consider it?”

“No” Calum snapped, lying.

“If you say so” Luke grinned. “Seriously though, how was it? Must’ve been awkward”

“It…” Calum sighed, taking a sip from his beer. “It was, at first. But we talked and she’s such a sweet girl, we ended up pretty friendly. Poor thing had a cavity the size of a golf ball, she must’ve been in so much pain…. What?”

Luke was giving him that stupid grin again. “Calum’s got a crush”

“I do not have a crush” Calum muttered, laughing at how ridiculous it sounded. “I was just doing my job, that includes making sure my patients are comfortable. That alright with you?”

“Okay, okay” Luke backed off, sensing Calum’s heckles starting to raise. “Sierra told me she was very pretty”

“She is” Calum replied quietly, feeling his cheeks burn, before he added: “Beautiful, actually”.

~

Later that night, Calum was changing his position on the sofa for what felt like the fiftieth time. It was just that little bit too short for him, his feet hanging awkwardly off the side, his shoulders hunched together. As much as he was dragging out moving back to his own place, he couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed again with all the space he’d need.

Calum’s foot slipped off the sofa and his ankle hit the corner of the coffee table, causing him to scream silently into his pillow.

Sitting up frustratedly, Calum picked up his phone, ready to spend the remainder of the night scrolling through various social medias.

What he wasn’t expecting to see was a message from an unknown number.

A message from Ivy.

Calum’s heart started to beat a little faster. Without really thinking, he typed out a witty but friendly message back, chucking his phone to the other end of the sofa immediately after.

Why was she messaging him? At 2am? Calum knew he hadn’t _really_ given her his number for emergencies, but he hadn’t actually expected her to message him. They had both agreed that that night had been a one-time thing, and they’d put it behind them.

Calum was starting to suspect that neither of them were planning to stick to that.

He felt his phone vibrate again and he picked it up, irritated with himself that he’d smiled upon reading the new message.

_Ivy: surprised ur up at this time! n it is an emergency._

_C: what’s wrong?_

_I: can’t sleep._

_C: don’t u have a boyfriend to help you out with that?_

Calum hated how petty he sounded.

_I: he’s asleep. don’t want to talk to him anyway. he’s being a jerk again._

_C: so you’re turning to ur drunken hook-up/dentist for comfort?_

_I: suppose so. all two of my friends are asleep, & you’re more interesting than scrolling through twitter for the next few hours._

_C: ur right, I am interesting._

_I: ha_

_C: sorry ;) what happened anyway?_

_I: ugh, the usual. him wanting to have sex, me not wanting to, him throwing a fit etc._

_C: i could’ve written you a sick note to get you out of it_

_I: ur hilarious_

_C: I like to think so_

Quiet for a few moments.

_C: u sure ur okay though?_

_I: am fine. all relationships have their ups and downs_

_C: ur right on that one. just know if you ever wanna talk im only a text away._

She didn’t respond for a minute, and Calum wondered if she’d fallen asleep until:

_I: you’re not my therapist calum._

Calum bristled, sensing that he’d hit a nerve.

_C: I know that. Just wanted you to make sure you were okay._

_I: I’m fine._

Calum wasn’t sure what else was to be said. Something he’d said had clearly bothered her, and he remembered how defensive he’d always been when people asked him stuff like that when he was with Bella. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach and he flipped his phone onto the coffee table. He didn’t know why he was so worried about someone he’d only met twice but blamed it on the rollercoaster day he’d had. His emotions were all over the place.

Sighing, Calum moved onto his side and shut his eyes, falling asleep with the image of Ivy, trapped and lying awake, resting unwanted in his mind.

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

It had been twenty minutes since Ivy had sent that last text, and she was still staring at the ceiling, anxiety and guilt nibbling away at her insides.

He had only been trying to help.

It was like she’d become another person for a second. Angry and defensive, like she always was when someone questioned her and Dylan. A few silent tears had followed, and then an overwhelming sense of shame. She barely knew Calum, why was she so upset about what he thought of her?

Why was he all she had been able to think about for the past week?

Sighing, Ivy turned onto her side and willed herself into sleep, staring at the back of Dylan’s head through the dark and hating herself for wishing it was someone else’s.


	10. eight

“Do we really have to go to this thing?” Dylan whined for probably the fifth time as Ivy rolled her eyes, ignoring him as she applied the last of her red lipstick and fluffed her hair.

“Yes, we do. It’s my best friend’s birthday Dylan!” Ivy knew that Leila wouldn’t care in the slightest if Dylan wasn’t there, but she also knew that Dylan wouldn’t let her go without him. “Ashton’s rented out a whole bar for this and a bunch of people are going, it’ll be fun”

“If you say so” He muttered, sipping his beer as he slunk back into the living room. Ignoring him again, Ivy smiled at herself in the mirror.

She hadn’t looked this good in a while.

The slip dress she was wearing was a dark forest green, the front hanging low against her chest, only held up by two thin straps. It fell at an angle to her mid-thigh, exposing her toned legs that were supported by a pair of black and leopard print thin heeled sandals. Her makeup matched the dress; smoky eyes with a deep red lip that accentuated her curls. She messed with her hair a final time, wearing it down for once. The loose curls tumbled to halfway down her back, and Ivy smiled as she did a little dance of excitement, ready for the night to begin. Her jewellery clinked in rhythm as she grabbed her purse and walked out to meet Dylan by the door, who had already booked an Uber. She stuttered slightly in confidence as he looked her up and down, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“Is there not another dress you could wear?” He asked, Ivy giving him a deadpan look.

“Why?”

“It’s just that, your legs are kind of exposed and…” He tried to smooth over his wording, placing his hands gingerly on Ivy’s hips as she tensed. “Only I should get to see that much of you”

Ivy suppressed a shudder of disgust, smiling at him thinly as she heard the beep of a car horn outside and strutted down the steps towards it, not waiting for Dylan.

The car ride was silent, the only noise coming from the tinny radio and the sound of Ivy slapping Dylan’s hand away every time it tried to creep from her knee to higher up her thigh.

“What’s your problem tonight” Dylan gritted out after he paid the uber, following Ivy into the venue where a hostess took their jackets and her purse.

“Nothing’s the matter darling” Ivy smiled back, before shouldering him into a side hallway just to the left of the main doors of the bar, where all their friends would be. “I just don’t like to be touched up in front of other people”

“I’m your boyfriend for fucks-“

“Keep your hands to yourself just for tonight, please” Dylan went to protest but she carried on, a sudden streak running through her. “Don’t think that you can fuck me one minute and ignore me the next. Don’t try and cover up how shit we are around our friends with an arm on my waist. You and I both know we’ve been bad for a long time and I am sick of faking it. We need to sort ourselves out, and tonight is not the night for that” She finished, her voice dripping with venom. Dylan was quiet for a moment, his eyes boring into hers with a look that made her blood boil.

“Glad to see that we’re on the same page” He sneered.

Ivy turned on her heel and walked into the bar, her hands shaking. She didn’t bother to see if Dylan had followed her as she plastered on the biggest smile she could muster as Leila turned around and saw her.

“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!” Leila squawked as the pair embraced, hugging each other tightly. When she pulled away Ivy noticed Dylan slinking off to talk to someone he recognised on the other side of the room. Swallowing, Ivy turned back to her friend, grinning.

“Drinks?” She asked, almost desperate.

“Right this way” Leila smiled, that knowing look in her eyes as the pair weaved through the gathering to the bar.

“Two Bellini’s please” Leila announced, and Ivy rolled her eyes, laughing as the bartender turned around to reveal themselves as Ashton, shaking a cocktail mixer dramatically.

“What’s so funny? Do you not remember my homemade cocktails from last year’s party?” Ashton joked, moving aside to let the actual bartender to make the drinks.

“You’ve outdone yourself this time” Ivy gaped, looking around at the fancy bar that over sixty people were crammed into, Leila nodding in agreement (clearly already drunk).

“Is Dylan not here?” Ashton asked casually, and Ivy did nothing but point to where he was stood, faltering as she noticed him talking to a _very_ pretty girl.

“Ah” Ashton said quietly, Leila sipping from her drink. “But thank you, yes, I agree I have gone above and beyond this time.” Ivy, grateful for the change in subject, took a hearty gulp of her drink, almost finishing it in one.

“Who else is here? I swear we don’t know this many people” She asked, gazing at all the unfamiliar faces around her.

“No, they’re mostly my friends, I did go a bit over the top on that front” He grimaced, but it quickly melted away as KayKay appeared, looping an arm around his waist and giving Leila and Ivy smiles that they both returned.

“Fine by me, they’re all here for me and that’s all I care about.” Leila grinned. “But seriously, who are all these people”

“Most of them are people from college and work. Obviously, I invited a load of people that you’ve mentioned before. Crystal and Michael are here actually, along with my friends Sierra, Luke and- “

“Crystal and Michael are here? Oh my God I haven’t seen them in ages, I’ll go say hi” Ivy cut him off, not noticing Ashton gulp worriedly as she spotted Crystal with a small group of people and started making her way over there. Once she was behind Michael, she tapped him on the shoulder and he turned, squealing excitedly once he saw her.

“Ivy?! Oh my God Crystal it’s Ivy!! I haven’t seen you in like a year, how are you?” He beamed, pulling her in for a hug as she did the same to Crystal. “Come join us we’ve just been talking to an old college friend. This is Luke and his girlfriend Sierra and their friend…. shit sorry dude I forgot your name”

Ivy, funnily enough, didn’t need to be told the third person’s name as she entered the circle fully and looked up to come face to face with Calum.

_Great._

“It’s Calum, mate, but me and Ivy actually already know each other” Calum laughed out, smirking at Ivy slightly as she realised, she was still gaping at him. “Nice to see you again” He added, his gaze travelling up and down her body agonisingly slowly.

Ivy’s vision began to sway. Unsure if it was the alcohol, or that look Calum had given her, or both, she quickly excused herself, sending polite smiles towards Luke and Sierra as she staggered back towards Leila and Ashton, who were trying desperately to look anywhere but at what they’d just seen.

“What the _Hell_ is _he_ doing here” Ivy hissed, slamming a hand on the bar in front of Ashton making him jump. “Three shots of tequila please” she murmured to the waiter, throwing a ten-dollar bill at him, her vision still blurring.

“Luke asked if he could bring him. Is it really the end of the world? I thought you guys were getting along fine after the other day?” Ashton asked, confused.

“We are fine, it’s just, I’m just…” Ivy groaned, burying her face in her hands. “It’s complicated”

“Complicated how?”

“It just is! Ashton, I slept with him! And my boyfriend’s here! How is that not complicated!” She squeaked, thanking the waiter as he placed three shots in front of her.

“I don’t drink tequila” Leila said.

“Yeah, and I don’t drink full stop” Ashton reminded her.

“Not for you” Ivy muttered, before downing all three shots one after the other, shuddering when she finished. Her vision, weirdly, began to clear again.

_It was definitely the look, then._

“Uhm, Ivy? Behind you” KayKay mumbled, before her, Ashton and Leila all made themselves scarce. Frowning, Ivy turned around, only to be met with Calum leaning idly against the bar beside her.

“Hello” He said innocently, giving her a smile as Ivy’s eyes widened and she smiled back, hands shaking slightly. “Wasn’t sure if you were running away from me back there or not”

“Oh, God no I wasn’t, that wasn’t…” Ivy stumbled, panicking. “I just really, really needed a drink” She laughed out, Calum raising his eyebrows as he laughed with her.

“Well then allow me to get you one” He offered, ordering a G&T and a beer from the bartender as Ivy stared at him dumbfounded.

“How did you know that’s what I drink?” She asked, genuinely perplexed.

“It’s what you were drinking the night we met” He said simply, his gaze falling to the floor slightly.

“Oh” Ivy wasn’t sure what else to say.

He looked at her quietly for a second, sighing. “Listen, I wanted to say sorry. For the other night. I feel like I stepped over a line and I know what it feels like to be interrogated like that. I figured the least I could do is buy you a drink to make up for it, but if I’m still not forgiven then I get it, I’ll leave you alone”

Ivy stilled, staring at him. Out of the two of them, she felt she should’ve been the one apologising. But she couldn’t mistake the genuine anguish in his eyes when he spoke, the regret.

“Oh God, please, you have nothing to be sorry for, I should be the one apologising. It had been a long day, I shouldn’t have snapped, I-“

“Ivy” Calum interrupted her, smiling. “It’s already forgotten”

Ivy stopped, smiling back just as their drinks arrived.

“Cheers” She said quietly, and they clinked their glasses together. Ivy’s head was beginning to spin now, having mixed three different spirits, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from repeating the same look Calum had given her earlier. He was dressed in black from head to toe; a t-shirt, jeans, boots and the same leather jacket from the night at the bar. He looked effortlessly good, clean shaven and his curls fluffy and styled to perfection, one hanging loosely to the side of his face. Ivy knew that he knew that she was looking at him, so she didn’t bother to hide the smirk on her face as their eyes met.

“Stop checking me out” He muttered, grinning as he sipped his beer, his eyes not leaving hers once.

“You checked me out first” Ivy replied coyly, the alcohol coursing through her veins now.

“Couldn’t help myself” He replied, his voice deep as he stood up properly, towering over her even in her heels. “You look amazing, Ivy”

The tension between them was like wildfire, spitting and sizzling right there in the air around them, both their eyes heavy and deep with lust. She managed a smile, her ears ringing as she moved her hand ever so slightly closer to his on the bar, her dress shifting to expose her upper thigh, his chest visibly rising as his breath caught, eyes wandering down her neck towards her chest…

“Ivy” A familiar voice snapped her out of her trance and Ivy turned, coming face to face with Dylan. She shook her head slightly as she felt Calum step back, the electricity in the air almost completely gone as she stared at her boyfriend’s flushed and frowning face.

“We’re leaving” He stated, going to wrap an arm around her waist but Ivy pulled away, shaking her head.

“We’ve barely been here an hour, Dylan, I’m not going. It’s my best friend’s birthday I can’t just leave. I don’t want to”

“If it’s your best friends’ birthday then why aren’t you with her? Why are you with…” Dylan turned to Calum, sneering but backing away slightly as Calum stood again to his full height. Ivy suppressed a giggle.

“I’m Calum. A friend of Ivy’s” Calum stated, Ivy noticing his chest puffing out slightly.

_Men._

“How do you know my girlfriend” Dylan spat, his pride clearly bruised as Calum looked him up and down, cocking an eyebrow.

Ivy felt a familiar knot in her stomach, tearing her eyes away from Calum quickly.

“I’m her dentist” Calum replied bluntly.

“Oh” Dylan said, deflating. “You’re the reason I almost didn’t get laid the other night” He laughed, to which Ivy rolled her eyes, skin crawling.

Calum laughed too, but it wasn’t at the joke.

“Yeah” He grinned lazily. “Yeah, I guess I am”

“Right, Dylan, I’m not going home yet” Ivy quickly intervened, not liking the look on Calum’s face one bit. “If you want to go now then you can, but I won’t be coming with you”

“You won’t?” Dylan asked, his voice dangerously quiet as he took a step towards her, and Ivy felt Calum tense beside her.

“No” She said, standing her ground and feeling _fucking_ amazing because of it. “I won’t”

They stood for a second, staring each other down, Calum still leaning against the bar, looking ready to pummel Dylan into the ground at any moment. Eventually Dylan pulled back, running a hand through his hair.

“Fine” He muttered, pulling his phone out to call an Uber. “I’ll see you tomorrow”

And with that he was gone.

“Lovely meeting you Dylan” Calum called after him, giggling as Ivy elbowed him in the ribs. Letting her shoulders relax as she saw Dylan walk out the door, she downed her drink, spotting all of their friends on the dance floor.

“Come on, let’s go dance” She said, not giving it a second thought as she took Calum’s hand and led him towards their friends, who all seemed as drunk as she was. She smiled as they weaved through throngs of people, feeling Calum’s hands lightly touch at her waist to guide her towards their friends.

“Was that your dickhead boyfriend I just saw leaving the building?” Leila yelled over the music and Ivy nodded, not having the heart to berate her. He was a dickhead, after all. Leila cheered, spilling half her drink on Ashton as she looked up at Calum. “You must be Calum! Nice to meet you handsome” She grinned, squealing as Calum took her hand and kissed it, winking.

“Nice to meet you too birthday girl” He grinned back, fist bumping Ashton as Ivy moved to hug Sierra and Luke, who she hadn’t properly met yet, and began dancing with Michael and Crystal, everyone else joining in. More drinks were being passed around the crowd on trays and Ivy didn’t hesitate to down one every time, her night becoming hazier with every shot.

The walls were bouncing. The air was thick with sweat and alcohol. Bodies were pressed up against each other, moving in sync as feet twisted and stamped against the technicoloured floor. Lips met, hands roamed, lyrics were screamed. Ivy felt as if her world was moving in slow motion, the bright lights and smiles of her friends dominating her vision as she danced in rhythm to whatever 2000’s hit was playing. She had twerked with Leila and KayKay, slow danced with Ashton, swayed with Luke and Michael on either side of her, arms around each other’s shoulders as they howled to ‘Mr. Brightside’. And as for Calum? They had both been dancing with the same group all night, their eyes catching each other’s every now and then. His jacket had been discarded, his t-shirt clinging tightly to his toned body and his skin glittering with sweat as he swayed to the music, his gaze not breaking from hers. He disappeared from her vision just as ‘Rude Boy’ by Rihanna began playing, and suddenly Ivy felt a pair of hands on her waist. She bit back her grin, playing it cool as she turned to face him, his eyes and hands roaming her body. They moved to the music, Ivy purposefully grinding herself on him every now and then to which Calum would groan, his face buried in her neck. She could feel everyone else’s eyes on them, but she found herself not caring, tilting Calum’s head up to meet hers as the song reached its bridge. They swayed, staring at each other, breathing hard, lips inches from each other. Ivy noticed Calum’s eyes flick from her own to her lips, asking silently if he could. She felt her own head move closer to his, longing so desperately for his taste as their noses nudged each other’s. Their lips brushed together daintily, and Ivy surged forward for a second, catching his lips in hers as he kissed back, one hand moving to the back of her head and the other staying firmly on her waist. Ivy could feel her heart hammering, as if electricity was running through her veins, everything she would ever need pressing itself up against her body.

But it was over as quickly as it had begun.

Ivy’s mind snapped to Dylan, to his sneering eyes, his curled lip. She flinched, stepping back from Calum who paused, looking at her quizzically. They stared at each other for a moment, a million questions dancing in Calum’s eyes as she blinked, nausea washing over her. Not being able to look him in the eye, Ivy turned, weaving her way off the dancefloor and to the cloak room. She knew Calum wasn’t following her, knew he was still stood there, shocked, their friends just as confused. She didn’t feel anything as she got in an Uber, not caring if it wasn’t hers. She didn’t feel anything as the streets of New York tore past her, full of crowds of noise and life. She didn’t feel anything until she was standing in her own front room, alone.

She still didn’t feel anything when she sank to the floor, tears spilling down her face before she could stop them.


	11. nine

Ivy woke up on her sofa the next morning, still in last nights clothes and makeup, with a pounding headache.

She couldn’t remember a thing.

Groaning, she rolled off the sofa and trudged into the kitchen, fixing herself some coffee and downing two painkillers. Golden sunlight streamed through the window hitting her vision as she winced, stumbling out of its path. Looking down, she noticed her phone on the floor near the door, apparently having fallen out of her pocket when she’d crawled into her flat last night. She picked it up, noticing a string of messages from people, one being from Calum.

_C: I’m sorry. Hope you got home safe._

Confused, Ivy text back:

_I: What are you sorry for? And I did, not feeling too peachy this morning tho!_

She frowned as she noticed messages from Ashton and Leila saying similar things, asking her if she was okay. Ivy, not wanting to embarrass herself, just replied with a “not feeling great but I guess that’s my fault haha, hope you guys are good”. The replies were vague and sounded a little confused, so Ivy shrugged and went to shower.

She had a feeling of dread sticking to her skin, like she’d done something wrong last night, but she couldn’t place what. She heard her phone buzz just as she stepped back out of the shower, feeling somewhat refreshed as she read a new message from Calum.

_C: doesn’t matter, you just left pretty quickly last night so I was worried I’d pissed you off. not feeling great over here either, drink some water and go for a walk, it’ll make you feel better trust me :)_

Ivy smiled, looking out the window at the beautiful day that was coming to life. As appealing as staying buried in bed all day sounded, Calum’s advice was growing on her. It was a stunning Autumn day outside and she didn’t get to see the City as much as she’d like. It was at that point in the year where one day it’d be ice cold and the next boiling hot, no in-between. She recalled Michael talking to her at the start of last night about his new music store, and sure enough she found the address in her notes app. Grinning at the prospects of her day, she changed quickly, slipping on a sage green floral romper and her Doc Martens, grabbing a hand-knit tote bag off her bedframe to go with it. She threw her hair back into a loose low bun and applied a little mascara, leaving her natural skin alone to let it breathe in the fresh air for a change. Just before she left, she remembered Dylan storming out last night, but not remembering why. She found herself not caring, texting him a quick ‘ _Hope you got home okay last night x’_ before skipping out the door.

The day seemed even more beautiful once she got outside. Practically all of the trees were painted shades of amber, leaves the same colour dancing along the sidewalk next to her. Warm sunlight shone down on her back, causing Ivy to let out a content little sigh before squealing as a cool breeze played with the hem of her dress. Checking the address again, she noticed the store was only a twenty-minute walk away, and on such a gorgeous day she couldn’t bring herself to take the subway.

Ivy strolled through Manhattan at a leisurely pace, the lilting voice of Arlo Parks playing through her chunky headphones. It was only 11am, and the streets were fairly quiet (for New York), most people at work already. She wound through the backstreets, stopping outside the front of ‘Clifford Records’ quicker than she’d expected. Taking her headphones off, she shouldered her way through the door, smiling as Michael looked up from the register, his face a picture of exhaustion.

“How can you look so good hungover, it’s not fair” He whined, hugging her before sipping from his coffee. “Voila” Michael gestured around the empty store. It had only been running for a week, and opened at 11, making Ivy his first and only customer.

“It looks amazing!” Ivy smiled, staring up in awe at all the guitars hanging on the walls and the cases upon cases of records organised around the edges of the store.

“Thanks, put them all up myself” Michael beamed, gesturing at the guitars. “I’m pretty sure I told every single person at that party last night about this place, so hopefully you won’t be my only customer”

“I seriously doubt that I will be” Ivy grinned, turning towards the records. “You have any Hozier?”

“Pretty sure, couldn’t tell you where though” Michael grinned, moving back behind the counter.

“Well, I guess I’ve got some searching to do” Ivy replied, rifling through the impressive vinyl collection. From behind her she heard the doorbell ‘ding’ and she spun round excitedly to Michael.

“See! I told you I wouldn’t be your only-oh, hi” Ivy swallowed, feeling her cheeks flush slightly as she turned to see the customer was none other than Calum.

“Hey, glad to see you took my advice” He smiled shyly, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Store looks amazing Michael”

Michael smiled, mumbling something about checking stock in the back before he hurried off through a door, tripping as he did. Furrowing her brows, Ivy shrugged, turning to face Calum as he joined her by the records.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” She asked.

“Day off, thank God” He smiled. “How’s the hangover?”

“Me too, and not so bad now that I’m out and about. I forgot to eat breakfast though, I’m starving” She moaned, giggling as her stomach growled in agreeance.

“Oh, well I was actually going to get some brunch after I’d been here if you wanted to come with? I know a great place literally round the corner” Calum offered, and Ivy noticed an uncertain look in his eyes, as if he was treading lightly around her. She knew she probably shouldn’t go with him, but she was starving. Besides, they were friends - something she had to keep reminding herself of.

“I’d love to! I’m just looking for-AHA!” Ivy squealed triumphantly, pulling the vinyl out of the box as Calum did a little cheer. Calling for Michael, she paid, not noticing the odd look he gave her when she said Calum and she were off to get food. Waving, they left, Ivy slipping the vinyl into her bag as they stepped into the sunshine.

“Like your bag” Calum nodded, and Ivy realised he was being genuine.

“Thanks” She beamed. “Leila made it for me, she works in fashion. She’s made all sorts; sweaters, hats, lace up tops. I keep telling her to sell it and start a business, but she won’t. Just gives them to me for free instead”

Calum’s eyes were full of wonder and Ivy laughed. “That’s so sick! I love shit like that, she’s really talented” He said, placing his hand on the small of her back to stop her as they went to cross the road. Ivy’s skin tingled and she laughed again, a little nervously.

She loved how easy conversation seemed to come to the pair as they walked through the streets, chatting away about anything that came to mind. He paid so much attention to her when she spoke, his eyes following her as she rambled on about whatever, occasionally looking ahead to make sure they were still going in the right direction. It was odd, Ivy thought, as she couldn’t recall a single man from her life that cared this much about what she was saying. It was nice.

The pair eventually stopped outside a small but busy café, and Ivy realised it was the same place she’d waited outside of for Ashton after she’d spent the night with Calum. Blushing, she followed him inside, beaming at the mismatching furniture that occupied most of the space. Fairy lights were strung across the ceiling and the place was dimly lit, soft jazz playing quietly through the speakers, reminding Ivy of a quaint little pub back in England, a favourite spot of hers and her mates. She found comfort in this, a familiar parallel to her old life that she sometimes missed so much, and silently thanked Calum for bringing her here. Looking up, she noticed he was staring at her, and Ivy realised he had asked her a question.

“God, sorry, did you ask me something?” She stammered, embarrassed as she realised the barista was giggling at her too.

“It’s okay” Calum laughed. “I asked you what you wanted”

“Oh, no, I can pay for myself-“

“Ivvyyyyyyyy” Calum moaned, stretching her name out, making her roll her eyes. “Please. I’ve got this one. You can get it next time, okay?”

“Next time?” Ivy queried, a smile tugging at her lips, her heart beating a little faster.

“Shut up” He muttered, elbowing her but smiling, nonetheless. “What do you want”

“Fine, uhhhhh….” She bit her lip, studying the menu. “An iced latte with a shot of caramel and a pretzel”

Calum nodded in approval, ordering the same for him as they waited at the other end of the bar.

“I wouldn’t have put you as a caramel kind of guy” Ivy mused, grinning at him as he shrugged.

“Tastes good” He mumbled, and Ivy nudged him, her heart warming. He gave her a small smile, his dark eyes round, kind.

_God, he’s cute._

Their drinks arrived and they set off again in search of a park other than Central, both agreeing that they hated how full of tourists it was.

“I’ve gotten lost in there one too many times” Ivy mumbled.

“I steer clear of it altogether” Calum agreed, walking towards a small park he’d noticed. “You liked the café then? You were acting like you’d walked into the Ritz”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, it was adorable. Reminded me a lot of a little place I went to a lot back home” She sighed, heart aching a little.

She felt Calum glancing at her sideways as they sat down on a patch of grass; Ivy sitting with her legs tucked underneath her, Calum fully laid back, propping himself up on an elbow.

“Do you miss it? England, I mean” He asked, nibbling at his pretzel.

Ivy sighed, thinking. A breeze caught her hair and she tilted her head slightly, basking in the sun.

“I miss the people. And the culture. In the sense that, every day I spend here, I feel a little more of my British-ness being chipped away from me. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you know” She inhaled sharply, smiling thinly. “It’s who I am. I think I’d prefer it here if I was happy, but yeah, I don’t know. Wouldn’t change it for the world though”

“You’re not happy?” Calum asked, and Ivy turned to him, surprised at the look of concern on his face. She was quiet for a moment, realising that what she’d said was in fact quite sad and she’d said it in such an airy tone.

“I’m not ‘not happy’. More so…. unsatisfied? I don’t know. I shouldn’t say I’m unhappy. Just with Dylan lately it’s been…well it’s been shit. For a while. But he used to make me happy. It’s just a rough patch” Ivy finished, realising she was talking more to herself than anyone else.

Calum was quiet, studying Ivy carefully. Feeling her cheeks redden, she laughed it off, breaking off a piece of pretzel.

“I might be way out of line saying this Ivy, and you can tell me off but… surely if Dylan makes you unhappy you should just break up with him?”

Ivy laughed bitterly, swallowing. “I’m not going to tell you off, because you’re not the first person that’s said that. And it makes sense but it’s more complicated than that”

“How so?” Calum asked, and Ivy, for the first time _ever,_ didn’t feel herself getting defensive over someone asking her questions about Dylan. She knew Calum wasn’t judging her. He genuinely wanted to listen.

“We’ve been together almost three years” She began, taking a deep breath. “We saved each other, him more than me. I’ve struggled my whole life with various things; depression, intrusive thoughts, issues with eating etc. etc. The worst of it’s my anxiety, it’s a genetic thing, whole family has it. I was on meds for it before I met Dylan, but he managed to get me to stop taking them, told me he was all I’d need. And he was right, for a while. He was always there for me, _always._ And now things are shit, but I don’t want to leave him because I’ve convinced myself that I simply will not be able to survive without him. I can’t. I know it sounds stupid- “

“You’re not stupid” Calum interrupted her quietly, but his voice was firm. “Don’t ever call yourself stupid, Ivy”

Ivy paused, looking at him, at the fierce tenderness in his eyes. In the sun his skin was almost glittering, the white t-shirt he wore a stark contrast. His long fingers were resting beside hers in the grass, and Ivy had the urge to take them between her own, to let him pull her into his chest.

The last time he’d done that, she’d felt safer than anything.

Shaking her head, she laughed. “Sorry. Enough about me anyway! Do you not miss Australia?”

Calum jumped slightly as a bike skidded past, his eyes resuming their usual friendliness. “Like you said, I miss the people. But I’ve also met people here who’ve changed my life in the most incredible ways. When me and Luke started our practice, he was just a peer, a friend, but now he’s like my brother. My ex, she was the love of my life for a long time and although it ended badly, I wouldn’t be who I am today without her. I think every person you meet in your life impacts you one way or another”

“That was deep” Ivy smirked, and Calum rolled his eyes.

“You’re pretty cool too I guess” He added, and Ivy snorted.

“Only pretty cool? Rude” She muttered.

“I don’t know you that well! I’m sure once we get to know each other you’ll rise up a compliment or two”

“Is that what we’re doing?” Ivy asked, her voice soft. “Getting to know each other?”

Calum studied her, a small smile playing at his lips. “Yeah, guess so. If that’s alright with you”

Ivy felt her heart flutter, pushing the feeling down. “Yeah, that’s alright”

They were quiet for a moment, comfortable silence as they looked each other, unsure of what the other was thinking.

“You’re pretty cool too” Ivy whispered, and she saw something shift in Calum’s eyes. Shuddering as the light breeze turned colder. “What’s your favourite colour?”

Calum frowned, laughing. “What?”

“You said you wanted to get to know each other and that’s what I’m doing, fourteen-year-old style. Favourite colour, Hood, you’ve got to have one”

“I honestly don’t think I do” He wondered as he stood, holding his hand out to her. “We should get going, got errands to run. I’ll walk you back to yours if you tell me what yours is”

“How can you not have a favourite colour?” Ivy gawked, taking his hand. “Mine’s turquoise”

They did this back and forth the whole walk back to her apartment. Calum asking her questions, Ivy answering in confidence before shooting the question back at him, to which he’d reply vaguely, or not at all. Ivy didn’t mind, grateful for the conversation. She knew some people were more closed off than others, and she liked that about him. She thought it made him mysterious.

They were outside Ivy’s building quicker than she’d wanted to be. The morning had flown by with the conversation, and it was getting closer to three in the afternoon. Standing on the bottom step, she turned to look at him.

“Thank you for this morning” She said quietly. “I think I really needed it”

“Me too” He smiled, nudging her arm and Ivy laughed, realising he was mimicking what she’d done that day at his office.

“I’ll text you; we should do this again otherwise I’m going to forget where that coffee place is” She said seriously – she was already picturing herself on a Saturday afternoon typing at her laptop at one of those vintage coffee tables.

“I look forward to it” He smiled, and Ivy felt as if he wanted to say something else. She stayed still for a second, letting him think, before he eventually sighed and gave her a lopsided smile. “I’ll see you later”

“Bye” She almost whispered, reluctantly turning away as she started ascending the steps.

“Ivy”

Ivy turned around quickly, almost stumbling as she looked back down at Calum, his curls twisting in the breeze.

“My favourite colour is green”


	12. ten

**_Calum’s POV_ **

“God this day is _dragging_ ” Luke whined, slouching into the break room and collapsing into a chair beside Calum. Calum, who was up until ten seconds ago, peacefully getting lost in the pages of ‘The Great Gatsby’ (‘an absolute classic I can’t believe you haven’t read it here take my copy’ Ivy had squawked at him two days ago) in-between appointments, looked up at him shrewdly, rolling his eyes as Luke pouted at him.

“Do you not have paperwork to do?” He asked, folding down the corner of the page he was on.

“Done it all”

“Cleaned your office?”

“Five times”

“Prepped for your next patient?”

“They’re not going to be here for another hour”

“Well, then, I don’t know Luke, go talk to you girlfriend, I’m reading” Calum huffed, going to pick the book up again only to have it batted out of his hand by Luke.

“Careful, you ass, this isn’t mine!”

“Speaking of girlfriends” Luke spoke over him, wiggling his eyebrows stupidly. “How’s Ivy”

Calum glared at him, but Luke only grinned.

“Don’t start” Calum muttered, standing from the table to go refill his coffee.

“Oh please, you’re not going to tell me you guys are just friends”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you” Calum sang, groaning as he found the contents of the coffee jar empty. “Did you use up all the coffee grounds?”

Luke ignored him. “I don’t believe you. Whether you know it or not, you’ve got feelings for that girl. You should see your face every-time you walk into the office after you’ve spent lunch with her, you practically glow”

“Will you drop it?” Calum snapped, his voice raising slightly. “We’re friends. She has a boyfriend. A shitty one at that, but she’s happy with him” Calum knew she wasn’t happy, not really, and everything she’d mentioned about him so far had set off alarm bells in his head. He wasn’t going to tell Luke that though, knowing it’d just spur him on.

“Look, even if I did want something with her, it’s not going to happen. Quit torturing me about it” He finished, huffing as he saw Luke bite his lip, refraining from saying something that would probably result in the coffee jar being launched at his head. The pair were quiet for a moment, sitting in uneasy tension before Calum rolled his shoulders and paced over to his jacket, rifling through the pockets. “I’m going for a smoke”

“I thought you were quitting?” Luke called after him as he went to leave the break room.

“Changed my mind”

“You’re the worst dentist ever”

“Fuck off” Calum half shouted back, laughing to himself quietly as he jogged through reception and out the front doors, walking a little way away from the office. He quickly lit a cigarette, his shoulders visibly loosening as he breathed out, shutting his eyes momentarily. He knew he shouldn’t smoke; he knew he should quit, Hell, he’d even lectured a patient about how damaging it was. But there was just something about it that gave him that release he needed every now and then, something that took the edge off of his mind that never seemed to stop _thinking._

Relaxing more, he leant against a streetlamp, observing the people around him as they went about their day. He didn’t catch onto any face in particular, until a short brunette with a wickedly beautiful smile strode right past him without batting an eye.

Bella.

Calum almost bit his cigarette.

She had to have seen him. She had walked straight past him, coming from directly opposite where he was stood. He wasn’t exactly hard to miss; a 6ft1 dark skinned man in navy scrubs – he was sure he was the only one of those that she knew. But Calum didn’t care about that. He honestly didn’t really care that she had ignored him, he probably would’ve done the same.

What he cared about was the guy who’s hand she had been holding.

She had a boyfriend? Already? Last time he had seen her, almost a month ago now, she had been a wreck, begging him to stay, to give her another chance. When they’d broken up, she’d screamed for hours, throwing herself into panic attack after panic attack as she’d howled that she couldn’t live without him. It had taken everything Calum had to turn his back on her, to walk out and not look back. And somehow, it had ended up with him being the mess, and her happy?

Had it all been a lie?

Clenching his fists, Calum realised he wasn’t quite breathing. He stamped his cigarette out on the pavement, striding back into the office and into the break room where Luke still sat, jumping when Calum slammed the door open and walked in, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Luke asked, half joking as he stood.

“I just saw Bella” Calum managed to grit out, his vision going blurry.

“Shit” He heard Luke mumble, before he felt him move closer. “Was she-“

“She has a boyfriend” Calum spat, still pacing. “A fucking _boyfriend_. How is this happening? We were so happy, so _so_ happy, and now she’s with someone else. What did I do wrong? I should never have broken up with her, I-“

“Okay, Calum, you need to breathe” Luke stated, taking his shoulders and holding him still. Stationary, Calum realised he was almost gasping for breath, his ears ringing, little dots invading his vision. He shook his head, attempting to clear it, drawing in deep, ragged breaths as he looked straight at Luke.

“You were not happy in that relationship. You were at a time, but towards the end of it you were miserable. It was abusive, unbelievably toxic. She made your life Hell, and I don’t know how much longer you would’ve lasted if you hadn’t gotten out when you did. You…” Luke paused, noticing that Calum was starting to calm, was actually listening to what he was saying. “You would show up to work with fresh bruises on your arms every week. Everyone was so worried about you, and we still are, because getting over her is going to be rough but you will be okay, okay? You can survive this; I know you can. You’re the strongest person I know mate”

Calum swallowed, letting what Luke had just said sink in. It was the first time Luke had been so candid with him about Bella, and it felt strange, hearing all of his own fears and thoughts out loud. The pair stayed standing for a moment, Luke letting Calum come back down to Earth until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Jumping slightly, Calum pulled away, taking his phone out and looking at the new message.

“Who is it?” Luke asked, eyeing Calum wearily, unable to gauge the confusion on Calum’s face.

“It’s from Ivy”

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

_The pair fell through the bedroom door, hands tugging at what little clothing was left on them. The man, Calum, stumbled slightly in his drunken state, Ivy squealing as he almost sent the both of them falling onto the bed._

_“I’ve got you” He murmured, lips pulling away from hers for a moment to gently lower her onto the mattress. He stood above her, Ivy panting hard beneath his gaze as he trailed a finger from her lips, travelling slowly all the way down her body to her underwear, where he rested his hand, his eyes flicking up to meet hers. Ivy trembled, biting her lip as he leant down, still standing beside the bed but placing both hands either side of her face, hovering mere inches above her._

_“Who’s are you?” He whispered, moving one hand to her lips, tugging at the lower one gently._

_Ivy said nothing, only opening her mouth and taking his finger all the way back, sucking slowly before pulling it back out again with a ‘pop’, smirking as Calum growled, his eyes darkening._

_“I’m all yours”_

_Not hesitating for a second longer, Calum lunged, pinning Ivy’s hands to the bed as he kissed her hard, their tongues intertwining between breathy moans. The remaining two items of clothing separating Ivy from total nudity were torn off, and soon she was biting her lip, watching as Calum moved lower and lower down her body, kissing and nipping at skin as he went, somehow knowing exactly where she needed him most. She writhed, desperate for more, to which Calum only responded with an arm stretching across her stomach, pinning her to the bed as his head rested against her left thigh, looking up at her through lowered lashes, an evil smirk on his face. He pressed soothing kisses along each leg, sucking harder as he got closer to her core causing Ivy to arch her back, moaning loudly which only made Calum grin wider._

_“Tell me what you want” He uttered, and Ivy could feel his breath fanning right against where she needed him._

_“You” She panted, trying desperately to push his head down only for Calum to tighten his grip against her, tutting. “For fuck sake, I want you, please”_

_“You’re pretty when you swear” Calum praised, giving in as he hooked each of her legs over his shoulders, Ivy feeling her stomach twist in anticipation. “Let’s see how pretty you look when you’re screaming my name”_

_Ivy threw her head back against the sheets, climax already building before he’d even touched her. She felt his lips attach to her clit and she cried out, back arching as-_

Ivy threw herself upright, the knot in her stomach dissolving as she panted, early sunshine peeking through the curtains. The images of that night were still burnt fresh into her memory, whirling round and round like some sort of sexual carousel as Ivy groaned, throwing her head back into her pillow.

_I have a fucking boyfriend!_

She and Calum were _friends_. That was it. They had seen each other enough times since that night that all awkwardness, all tension was gone, supposedly, and Ivy was really starting to value him as a friend. They had started to make brunch at the coffee house a weekly thing, their days off conveniently lining up with each other. The weather was becoming rapidly colder, resulting in them finding the cosiest corner of the café, sitting and drinking God knows how many cups of coffee as they picked each other’s brains for hours on end. Ivy had discovered the most random (but adorable) things about Calum, and she was starting to question the Universe as to why it hadn’t brought them together sooner.

He was an Aquarius. He had a dog, Duke. He’d known he wanted to be a dentist since he was fifteen years old, and known he’d wanted to help people since he was five. He cooked. Loved to read (to Ivy’s delight). Had a soft spot for early 2000’s romcoms and ‘flamin’ hot Cheetos’. He had a sister, who lived not too far from where Ivy used to live. He adored rock bands, particularly Blink-182. He played bass guitar, and actually used to be in a band in college. His favourite season was Autumn, he was allergic to blueberries (something Ivy found ridiculously funny, not to Calum’s amusement) and he had dreams of one day owning a villa in Northern Italy.

He was, Ivy realised, quite possibly one of the best people she’d ever met.

And she liked where they were at with their relationship. Of course, she still found him attractive, but it was in more of an observational ‘yeah you’re attractive’ way, not ‘rip my clothes off and have me any way you like’ type of way. And that was how it should be. She had a boyfriend, and Calum was now a good friend who she didn’t want to ruin her relationship with. The sex dreams made things a little complicated, but the mind had funny ways of doing that and Ivy had decided to just go along with it at this point.

As for Dylan? Things were…. strange. Instead of his usual dismissiveness and general unloving behaviour, he was being more caring, more attentive. They’d been on several lunch dates over the past two weeks, he spent more time with her overall and he’d bought her flowers amongst other small gifts, to Ivy’s pleasant surprise. Even the sex was more tolerable.

It was this newfound appreciation that made Ivy dizzy with guilt as she thought back to her dream. She shouldn’t be thinking like that. About those things. About Calum. She realised how unfaithful she’d been to Dylan the past few weeks and she was suddenly choked with panic, her heart hammering as she trembled at the prospect of him ever finding out what she’d done. He didn’t deserve this, didn’t deserve her.

“Oh God” Ivy mumbled to herself as she leaped out of bed, scrambling to throw clothes on and checking the time. Her phone read ‘7AM’, so she knew Dylan wouldn’t have left for work yet, but he would be soon. She had to see him. She wasn’t sure why, she just needed to. To drive Calum out of her head for good, to convince herself that Dylan was who she was supposed to be with. She brushed her teeth and threw a jacket on, almost forgetting to lock the door behind her as she ran out of her apartment and onto the nearest subway. Her foot tapped impatiently the entire ride there, and she could barely contain her screams of frustration as she fought through the crowds of nine-to-fivers. Time seemed to rush past her as she ran along street after street, eventually reaching Dylan’s neighbourhood and tingling with exhaustion as she stopped outside his apartment on the ground floor, catching her breath. She heard music playing through his open window and she looked up.

Ivy’s heart dropped to her feet.

Dylan was swaying around his front room, laughing and singing along to the song that him and Ivy had always claimed as ‘theirs’.

But he wasn’t alone.

She was pretty. Beautiful, actually. Long blonde hair that fell to her tiny waist, nothing but a red slip nightgown covering her smooth, pale skin. She smiled up at Dylan with eyes full of adoration, and Dylan leant down, his lips catching hers, still rocking gently to the lilting music.

Ivy could do nothing but stare.

Eventually, blinking as a car sped past on the road behind her, she turned, and walked back the way she’d come. Her ears were ringing, skin prickly and numb, vision slightly unfocused.

She couldn’t feel a thing.

She watched herself from above, still walking as she took her phone from her pocket, scrolled to a certain contact. She typed out a message, the tapping of her thumbs the only thing she could hear.

_I: I need to see you._

_C: I’m working until six, what’s wrong?_

Ivy almost couldn’t stop herself from typing, unsure of why she was saying what she was saying but doing it anyway as she stepped onto the subway platform.

_I: Toothache._

_C: Seriously? The same one from before?_

_I: Yeah_

_C: Okay, I don’t have any spaces today but I’ve got about half an hour of my break left, if it’s what I think it is it won’t take long at all so get here as soon as you can, and we’ll sort it out okay?_

_I: okay_

_I: thank you_

_C: Don’t worry about it, try and relax, I’ll see you in a bit x_

Ivy saw the last message as she stepped back off the Subway, now heading towards Calum’s clinic. She didn’t even register that he might get mad at her for lying, either that or she didn’t care.

She was too numb to be thinking about the consequences of her actions.

Her only thoughts were of Dylan and that woman, their happiness branding Ivy’s brain like a tattoo, their song still ringing in her ears.


	13. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SMUT WARNING*

Ivy didn’t need to look up to know whose hand was softly rubbing her arm, but she pulled her head up anyway.

“Hey” Calum sighed, a sad smile on his face as he crouched in front of her in reception. The rest of the area was empty, save for Sierra tapping away quietly behind her desk. “You okay?”

Ivy wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that question.

She was still in shock. Hadn’t cried, hadn’t yelled, hadn’t done anything other than stare into space as she’d walked here. She wouldn’t have noticed if a pack of lions had torn through the streets.

Ivy looked at Calum, and realised he looked different from usual. His eyes were darker, a mix of anger and hurt and something else she couldn’t place swimming in them, his hair tousled like a pair of hands had been dragged through it. His jaw was clenched, whether he realised it or not, and his arms were tense, stretching against the fabric of his scrubs.

He looked hot.

More so than usual.

This only spurred on Ivy’s current train of thinking.

“I’m okay” She mumbled, drawing in a deep breath as Calum squeezed her arm lightly, riding the bolt of electricity that whipped through her.

“Come on, let’s go sort you out” he smiled, guiding her to stand and keeping his hand on the small of her back as they walked into his office. Without saying a word, Ivy lowered herself into the chair, avoiding Calum’s eyes as he came round the front of her, slipping gloves on.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked, concern filling his eyes as he tilted her chin up to meet his gaze, his fingers brushing against her jaw. “You’re not usually this quiet”

Ivy managed a nod, feeling her body start to shake. Unfortunately, Calum noticed.

“Ivy, hey, come here” He soothed, bringing her against his chest as he ran his hand up and down her back. “It’s only me, I won’t hurt you darling”

The smell of his cologne, mixed with the scent of cigarettes (‘ _he smokes?_ ’ Ivy thought) and the fact that he had just called her _darling_ was driving Ivy insane, and she pulled away before she could do anything stupid, giving him a small smile.

“I’m sorry, I’m okay, really, just got a bit overwhelmed you know what I’m like” she laughed, before adding a fake wince for effect. Calum frowned, moving back behind her.

“Is it really hurting?” He asked as he slipped a mask on, moving the chair down. Now laying below him, all the strange, sexual feelings from her last appointment were coming back in full force, a familiar tension growing in the pit of her stomach as she managed a nod. “Let me take a look”

He picked up a mirror from the tray, angling her head towards him as she opened her mouth, immediately flinching as his fingers touched her lip.

“You’re okay, you’re okay” He soothed her, unaware of the fact that Ivy had flinched for an entirely different reason. He gently kept her mouth open with his finger, running one along her gums causing Ivy to put all her willpower towards not moaning.

“How does this feel?” He asked, tapping the tooth lightly. Of course, it didn’t feel like anything, but Ivy winced, turning her head away slightly.

“Okay” He murmured, pulling away but keeping his hand resting on her chin. “I can’t see any problems from the outside, how long has it felt like this?”

“Like, a day?” Ivy mumbled, trying to gauge what Calum was thinking.

“Okay, well I could take an x-ray, but if that doesn’t show anything I’m going to have to drill back into the filling and see if-“

“Okay, okay, enough” Ivy yelped, jumping up from the chair, her heart thumping. “I can’t do this anymore”

“Ivy, woah, hey, calm down for me, talk to me” Calum shushed her, taking his gloves and mask off as he walked a little way over to where she stood, giving her space. “What’s going on with you today?”

“I-I…” Ivy stammered, unsure of how she was going to play this one out. Slumping in defeat, she decided to just rip the band aid off. “I don’t have a toothache”

Calum frowned, obviously confused. “Huh?”

“I don’t have a toothache. I never did, I’m fine” She sighed, running her hands through her hair as she leant against a cupboard. “Sorry for wasting your time”

“I don’t understand, if you don’t have a toothache why did you come here? I don’t…Why are you here, Ivy?” He asked, not a trace of anger in his voice, but instead something that suggested he knew exactly why Ivy was here.

Ivy looked at him, her silence speaking for her as Calum moved closer, trapping her against the cupboards as he placed a hand either side of her head, dark eyes boring into hers.

“Why are you here, Ivy” He asked again, his voice low as his gaze darted to her lips.

Ivy, again, said nothing, only took his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his own.

She felt him tense, not moving for a second before his hands wound their way into her hair, kissing back, his tongue swiping across the bottom of her lip. It was like they both knew that this was going to happen eventually, and that they also might not ever get to do it again. Calum pulled away for a moment and Ivy whined, stumbling forward with him. He held a finger to her lips, indicating for her to be quiet as he moved over to the door, locking it.

Ivy swallowed.

Within two strides he was back in front of her, cupping her jaw with his hands and kissing her deeply, their tongues tangling as Ivy moaned against his mouth, longing for more. Calum sensed she was asking for something and he dipped his head down to her neck, nipping and sucking at a sweet spot just between her ear and jaw.

“Use your words, darling”

Ivy gasped for breath, her mind struggling to form a coherent sentence as she gave into the feeling of Calum’s soft lips against her neck, his teeth nibbling at her skin lightly sending her into overdrive.

“You” She stammered out, whatever reasonable thinking she had left gone out the window as Calum stood to his full height again and pinned her with those molten eyes. “I want you and your mouth on every part of me”

Calum cocked an eyebrow, surprised at how direct she was being. The last time they had done this, he had been the one giving orders.

“With pleasure” He breathed out, wasting no time in hooking his arms under her legs and lifting her, moving the two of them to the end of the dental chair. Carefully, he leaned down, placing Ivy on it and pushing her by her shoulders until she was laying back. He hovered above her for a moment, hands on the armrests as Ivy stared at him back, adrenaline causing her body to tremble uncontrollably.

“You’re going to have to stay quiet” He murmured, his eyes darting down to her legs before moving back up to meet her gaze. “Can you do that?”

Ivy only nodded, drawing in a sharp breath as Calum whispered “ _Good girl_ ” in her ear, nipping at her lobe before slowly moving back and positioning himself at the end of the chair. He took her ankles in his hands, shimmying her down the chair until he was resting his chin on her bent knees, smirking down at her with an evil grin. Slowly, he pushed her skirt up to bunch around her waist with his fingertips, before hooking his fingers around the waistband of her underwear and pulling them halfway down her thighs, ripping them off once they were low enough.

“That was my favourite pair” Ivy whined, although silently admitting to herself that he had looked _very_ attractive doing that.

“I’ll buy you a new one” He murmured, already resting his lips against the inside of her leg, pressing soft kisses to the exposed skin. Ivy shivered, Calum’s curls tickling her skin as she moved her hands down into his hair, tugging needily, craving more. Listening to her actions, Calum dipped his head lower, sucking at the skin on her inner thigh right next to where she needed him. Ivy whined, already feeling a hickey beginning to form as Calum grazed his teeth over the spot, making her jump.

“Hold still” He muttered, fastening his hands on her waist and hooking her legs onto his shoulders. The command only made Ivy wriggle more, desperate for what she knew was coming.

And then his tongue was right where she needed it.

One of Ivy’s hands flew from his curls to her mouth, covering it as she suppressed a moan, the other gripping at Calum’s hair as he carried on, his tongue working magic against her. With every arch of her back, Calum responded only by licking deeper, Ivy’s moans becoming harder to contain. His eyes flicked up to her momentarily and she held his gaze, watching as his lips moved to her clit, sucking and teasing with kitten licks, two fingers sliding into her and curling upwards.

It took everything Ivy had to not scream his name.

He smirked, the sight of Ivy’s writhing body only spurring him on as he focussed back to what he was doing, scissoring his fingers and moaning against her as her grip on his hair tightened, yanking gently. From the room next door, Ivy heard a whirring noise start up, the faint buzzing ringing in her ears. She felt her senses start to overload as the noise grew louder, along with the feel of the leather seat against her legs, Calum’s fingers moving in and out of her at a faster pace, his tongue still working against her mercilessly. Her vision was spinning, and she didn’t bother to suppress her moans as she climaxed, Calum carrying on as she rode it out. Eventually, he pulled his fingers out and Ivy winced at the loss of contact, her entire body shaking as Calum pulled her skirt back down and placed his hands on her legs to steady her, leaning his head against her thigh as he looked at her, breathless. He began rubbing small circles into her skin to sooth her as Ivy caught her breath, sitting up as the realisation of what they’d just done began to sink in.

She felt dirty.

“Okay?” Calum asked quietly, still breathing hard, unsure of what else to say. Ivy looked up at him and he furrowed his brows, unable to read her face as his hold on her leg loosened. “Ivy, are you-“

“I have to go” She whispered, scooting to the end of the chair and standing up in a hurry, smoothing her clothes out and grabbing her bag off the floor as she turned to Calum, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m sorry”

Standing as well, Calum gaped at her, moving to say something but Ivy had already turned and walked out the door, Calum knowing better than to follow her.

The image of Dylan and that woman was still burnt into her mind.

And for some reason now it stung even more.


	14. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SMUT WARNING*
> 
> Eh I kind of don't like this but I'm not going to be able to update for the next few days as I'm going to be mega busy with uni so it's better than nothing! But I hope you like this chapter more than I do, things are going to start seriously kicking off from this point ;)

A cold, heavy silence filled the flat as Ivy shifted slightly in the same spot on the sofa that she’d been in since she’d gotten back from seeing Calum. As soon as she’d gotten home, she had run to the shower, scrubbing viciously at her skin until she was almost red all over, trying desperately to erase any evidence of what she’d done. Another twenty minutes stood under the running water and she had gotten out, planning to be productive and put her mind off of things but she made it as far as the sofa before she collapsed, curling into a ball as the all too familiar thoughts of self-loathing began to invade her mind.

She couldn’t understand it. Why she was being so hard on herself. She knew better, knew that what Dylan had done was far worse, that she would be so much better off without him, knew there was a guy with deep brown eyes and a golden soul that was willing and ready to take her into his arms, to kiss all of the damage of the past few years away.

She knew all of that.

And yet, she almost felt as if she deserved Dylan. Deserved all of this misery.

She had been in such a toxic position for so long she didn’t know any different. Felt that Calum was far too good for her, and that she’d just end up breaking him. She recognised what she felt for Calum deep down, and she knew it was more than a friendship that she wanted, and she knew that he wanted the same. But she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not when she had felt almost the exact same way about Dylan in the beginning, and now look where they were.

She didn’t want to put herself through any more pain.

And she didn’t want to put anyone else through it either.

That thought caused the first, single tear to fall. That desperate longing to just be happy, to be loved. She hadn’t had that in _forever_.

Before anymore tears could spill over, there was a knock at her door. At first, she didn’t hear it, too lost in her own mind to acknowledge the real world around her. But the person knocked again, this time louder and more persistent, causing Ivy to jump slightly and get up from the sofa, wiping her eyes quickly. Gingerly, she approached the door and looked through the peephole, her breath catching as she saw who it was and fumbled to unlock the door.

She opened it, her eyes meeting Calum’s frantic ones.

“Hi” He said breathlessly, and Ivy realised he must’ve legged it up the entire flight of stairs. “Can we talk?”

Ivy blinked, still slightly numb and confused as to why the man she had immediately walked out on after he’d gone down on her was stood on her doorstep.

“I-um…” Ivy swallowed, rubbing at her head lightly. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

Calum frowned at her, now leaning against her doorway as he drew in a ragged breath. “It’s half six? I came here as soon as I finished, do you not have clocks in your flat?”

Half six.

Ivy had spent an entire day staring at a wall.

“Ivy!” Calum snapped his fingers in front of her face and she flinched, shaking her head. “Did you hear what I just said?”

“No?”

Calum sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I really, really, need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

Ivy stepped back without fully realising that she had done so, letting Calum walk past her and into the middle of the open-space flat. She noticed he was still in his scrubs, realising he literally _had_ come here straight from work, no doubt running the entire way by the looks of his flushed face.

Why was he here?

“What’s up?” Ivy asked quietly, wrapping the blanket from her shoulders around her a little tighter as Calum whirled to face her, his mouth agape, eyebrows raised.

“ _What’s up?_ ” He breathed out, and Ivy bit her lip. “I’m sorry, do you not remember what we did earlier?”

“Of course, I do, but I’m still processing it, I don’t, I don’t really know what there is to talk about” She murmured, swallowing as Calum grit his teeth, running a hand over his face. She had never seen him like this before. He looked genuinely stressed, almost _angry_ , a complete contrast to his usual quiet and calm manner, his gentle smiles.

“Ivy, we can’t ignore this. We agreed to be friends, we were getting along _so_ well, I was finally starting to move past this little-whatever I felt-for you” He waved his hands around, and Ivy realised with a little shock that he had been feeling almost the exact same things as she had been these past few weeks. “And then the next thing I know you’re showing up at my office and lying just so you can see me and then we’re making out and then my tongue is _there_ and you’re moaning my name and everything’s amazing and my hearts racing a million miles a minute and then-” He paused, deflating, his frantic pacing stopping for a moment as he looked at Ivy, his eyes sad. “And then you just _left_. Literally probably not even thirty seconds after you’d cum. I mean, did I do something wrong? You were acting strange earlier and now you’re acting even weirder, I just want to know what’s going on with you” He finished, his eyes still sparked slightly with that fierceness, but his shoulders were slumped as he took a step closer to Ivy, noticing she still held that same blank expression on her face.

Ivy swallowed; the atmosphere heavy with dread as she said aloud the one thing that had led to this moment for the first time.

“Dylan’s been cheating on me”

Calum’s face dropped completely.

“Oh my God, Ivy I’m so sorry I…When did you find out?”

“This morning” She whispered, and Calum groaned, his arms wrapping around her without hesitation.

“Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry Ivy, are you okay?” He asked, his hand running up and down her back, all the fire and adrenaline from thirty seconds ago soothed over with a honey voice and light touches. “Do you need me to do anything? I can go make you food, or I can call Ashton…”

Ivy said nothing, shaking slightly at the feel of Calum’s arms around her. She wanted nothing more than for him to look after her, to make all of her thoughts stop, to make Dylan disappear. She felt so angry at herself for letting herself fall for him when she couldn’t have him. Angry at him, because he was so God-damn perfect she couldn’t find a single reason to push him away.

Ivy allowed herself to breathe in his scent, allowed herself to nestle her head against his chest one last time before she brought her arms up and shoved him away.

“Don’t fucking touch me” She spat, and it was as if a switch had been flipped inside of her, this defensive, raging creature emerging from the shadows, leashing itself around her throat, whispering paranoia and anger into her ear. She stalked away from Calum, who had raised his arms, backing away, his face a picture of shock.

“Ivy, woah what…what’s wrong?”

“You” She seethed, pointing a shaking finger at him. “You are what’s wrong. _Why_ did you have to come into my life? Why now? Things were going so well and then one night you appear, and it all goes to shit, and it is all. your. _fault_.”

“All _my_ fault?” Calum remarked, taking a step forward, his heckles raising. “I’m sorry, I remember there being two pairs of lips there that night”

“You’re all I can think about! Why did you insist on giving me your number? Why do we hang out as much as we do? Why is it that every time you touch me, I feel like I’m going to self-combust, why are you so _adamant_ on ruining my relationship with Dylan?” Ivy snapped, hearing what she was saying and realising how ridiculous it sounded, but carrying on, nonetheless. She needed to vent, needed to yell.

“You’re blaming me for your own feelings? Seriously? I’ve tried so hard to keep how I feel about you to myself, to not let it show so I apologise if I’ve made you uncomfortable in that respect in any way. But you’re yelling at me because you like me, is that what you’re saying? That it’s my own fault for just existing? Jesus Christ Ivy, everything we’ve done together we’ve both consented to, and granted maybe we shouldn’t have done them, but it’s getting to the point now where we can’t ignore this anymore! Don’t you dare try and blame me for things that are entirely in your hands, that I can’t control. That’s so fucked up” Calum spat, and Ivy realised they were moving closer and closer.

“I _wish_ I had never fucking met you. All you’re going to end up doing is break my heart, and then you’re going to leave, just like everyone else. So, I’d appreciate it if you left, before it’s too late.” Ivy rambled, speaking whatever came to mind first, whether she knew it was true or not.

“No, I want to stay, I want to talk about this” Calum urged, grabbing Ivy’s arm and spinning her back round to face him as she went to storm off. “I don’t understand how you can be putting this all on me! It was _you_ that kissed me today, _you_ that kissed me at Leila’s, and both times you just left straight after without an explanation and I want to know-”

“Wait, what did you just say?” Ivy cut him off, her voice going dangerously calm. “When did I kiss you at Leila’s?”

Ivy saw Calum still, taking a step back slightly. “When we were all dancing. You just turned around and you kissed me, and then you left straight after. The next morning you said you didn’t remember anything, so I figured you were lying and just wanted to move past it I didn’t…” Calum saw the look on Ivy’s face, the white-hot rage that was starting to bubble in her eyes. “No. No, don’t you dare get mad at me for that. Ivy you kissed me, I swear to you ask any of our mates, they all saw-”

“Fuck you” Ivy spat, storming towards him. She had kissed him. She had kissed him, and he hadn’t told her. No one had.

She couldn’t decide if she was angrier at him or herself.

“Fuck you” Ivy said again, her voice raising as she slammed her hands against his chest, pushing him hard. “Fuck you for not telling me, fuck you, fuck you, _fuck you_ ” Her voice had risen to a yell, still no tears, only a seething anger as she raged at the only other living thing that wasn’t herself, raged about her own mistakes, her own heartbreak. She felt Calum trying to hit her hands away, yelling at her to stop but she ignored him, the ringing in her ears growing louder.

“ _Ivy!”_ Calum yelled, finally grabbing her wrists and spinning her round as he slammed her against a wall, pinning her there with his own body, his forearm horizontal against her chest. Ivy writhed against his grip, anger still burning as she looked into his eyes, not breaking his stare as she saw a similar rage mirroring her own.

“Hit me again, I dare you” He hissed, their faces millimetres from each other, noses touching. “I swear to God, hit me one more time and I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Ivy spat, not flinching as Calum growled, pressing her harder against the wall. They stood like that for a few seconds, breathing hard, eyes pinning each other down, the only sounds their panting and the City streets below them. Ivy flicked her eyes from Calum’s stare to his lips and back, over and over until Calum grunted in frustration and pushed his lips against hers. She kissed him back just as hard, both still angry at each other as fingers tangled in hair, nails scratched at skin. She felt Calum going to pull away and she bit his lip, smiling as he yelped, followed by a moan that he tried to cover up, causing Ivy to laugh wickedly.

“You can’t pin me against a wall and then not fuck me against it” She whispered in his ear, caught in the toxic, electric heat of the moment. All thoughts of Dylan were gone, for now, and all she could think about was Calum burying himself deep, deep inside of her.

Calum paused for a second, trying to assess what this could lead to. She grinned wider as she saw a switch go off in his mind, the words ‘I don’t care’ practically branded across his forehead as he pushed her against the wall again, bringing her leg up to his hip, caressing the skin that her satin dressing gown had exposed lazily.

“God you can be a fucking bitch” He muttered in-between kisses, moving his hands lower to grab her ass.

“You love it” She hissed back, tearing his shirt off as he did the same to her gown, letting it drop to the floor as he indicated for her to jump, Ivy automatically hooking her legs around his waist. She pushed his trousers and the waistband of his boxers down with her foot, a toned v-line appearing in her vision as she bit her lip, Calum kicking his shoes off, his trousers and boxers soon following suit. She let go of her grip on his bicep, confident in Calum’s hold on her waist as she moved one hand down, pumping it across his length a few times, Calum throwing his head back and moaning before he moved her hand away and propped her against the wall, sliding into her in one swift motion. Ivy gasped out, legs tightening around him as they both groaned, fingernails digging into skin. He stilled for a second, eyes searching hers, his dark persona switching off for a moment as the real Calum rubbed a finger gently against her side, asking if she was okay without saying a word. Ivy looked at him, adjusting to his size as she nodded minutely, letting out a breathy moan as Calum thrusted slowly, his head falling to her shoulder, his lips biting lightly at her skin. She threw her head back against the wall as they fell into a rhythm, the at-first slow movements growing faster as Ivy gripped at Calum’s hair on the back of his head, moaning louder with each thrust as he hit her g-spot every time. All anger from before had been forgotten, and was instead converted into biting at skin, scratching nails, thrusting deeper. Ivy lost track of all sense and time at one point, her eyes rolling back as she felt her climax approaching fast, Calum’s lips brushing against her ear.

“You’re done when I say you’re done” He growled, sensing she was almost there as he carried on relentlessly, Ivy whimpering as he let her rest her forehead against his own, the pair moaning in sync.

“Calum, I…I’m almost…” Ivy didn’t have time to finish her sentence as her thighs tensed, her orgasm washing over her like a wave as she cried out, falling limp into Calum’s hold as he thrust a couple more times, letting her ride it out before he shortly followed suit, moaning into Ivy’s neck as he did. The pair were panting hard, skin sticking to each other as they rested their foreheads against each other, bodies trembling. Ivy could feel all of the tension from before seeping out of them, her own mind clearer as she swallowed, her fingers stroking along Calum’s arm, her legs still twitching occasionally. She could feel that Calum felt different too, and she didn’t protest as he tilted her chin up with his finger, their eyes meeting, no anger left in them, only a calmness, an understanding of each other.

Gently, he leant forward, and pressed the softest of kisses to her lips. It sent shivers down Ivy’s spine, knowing in her gut that this was different to any other time they’d kissed. It was gentle, romantic, full of promise. She kissed him back, their lips brushing over each other before he pulled away, carefully lifting her off of him. Ivy winced, suddenly feeling empty and cold, stumbling slightly as he placed her down. She felt his hands move to her waist instinctively, steadying her as he helped her sink to the floor, draping her dressing gown over her body before he pulled his boxers back on. Still staring into space, Ivy acknowledged Calum moving back in front of her before she felt him lifting her into his arms, slowly walking them into her bedroom. She let her head fall against his chest, letting the steady beat of his heart bring her back to Earth, not fighting the smile that spread across her lips.

She felt Calum place her under the covers of her bed, his hand brushing through her hair lightly before he went to move away. Panicking for a second, Ivy whined, grabbing his wrist as he turned back to her, crouching so they were eye level.

“Please don’t go” She whispered, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms, knowing she was safe.

“I’m not going anywhere” He soothed, rubbing his thumb gently against the hand that still gripped him. “Just going to get you some water, okay?”

Ivy felt her heart warm, having never been looked after like this as she nodded, letting him slink off to the kitchen. She turned slowly onto her back, pulling herself up against the headboard as she winced, an ache beginning to spread across her stomach and down her thighs. Calum returned moments later, placing the glass on her nightstand before he went round to the other side of the bed, climbing under the covers and frowning as he saw her tense features.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, cupping her face with his hands, stroking her cheeks lightly.

Ivy could do nothing but smile, getting lost in his dark iris’.

“Nothing, just a little sore” She replied quietly, her smile growing as Calum said nothing, only gently turning her so she was on her side, her back against him as he laid the two of them down, his hands moving to her stomach, rubbing lightly, her muscles relaxing instantly. Ivy almost purred, resting her head against the pillow as Calum nestled his head against her neck, pressing light kisses to her skin.

“I’m sorry for earlier” He mumbled, not stopping his rubbing as Ivy sighed, reaching a hand up to run through his curls.

“You’re forgiven, I’m sorry too” She whispered, wanting nothing more than to stay in this moment forever, Calum’s curls tickling her neck, his fingers massaging her abdomen. She knew she couldn’t have it, but for now, she savoured every second, leaning her head back to meet his eyes. “Am I forgiven?”

“You are, you had nothing to be sorry for in the first place” He murmured, Ivy disagreeing with him but not finding the energy to argue back as Calum pulled her against him, pressing another kiss to her shoulder. “Get some sleep, my love”

_My love._

Ivy’s stomach fluttered at the nickname, smiling as her eyes shut, Calum’s gentle movements against her stomach and thigh lulling her to a world where she was caught in this moment for eternity.


	15. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wasn't going to be able to post for a few days but aS iT tUrnS oUT....I was wrong lol. Anyway, enjoy!

That night Ivy dreamt of Calum.

She dreamt of the two of them together, happy and carefree and in love. She dreamt of morning kisses and late-night talks. She dreamt of long walks through the streets, of little getaways and road trips every now and then. She dreamt of surprising each other at work, spontaneous lunch dates. She dreamt of lazy days in bed, nothing but each other for company. She dreamt of cuddles when one of them was sick, forehead kisses and backs of hands brushing across cheeks. She dreamt of a little two storey house in a quiet neighbourhood, flowers and plants covering the windowsills, a busy kitchen full of golden light.

She dreamt of Calum in that kitchen, working away at the stove as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She heard him make a little noise of content, his fingers brushing against her own. She felt him turn around in her hold, his hand finding her chin, bringing her head up to meet his gaze.

She looked up and was met with Dylan’s cold glare.

Suddenly, the kitchen went dark. Completely dark, pitch black, the kind of black you don’t want to look at for too long for fear of getting sucked into it. The only thing she could see was Dylan’s face, inches from her own, pale and gaunt, eyes angry and frightening as his hand moved from her chin to her throat, tightening.

“You’re mine” He whispered, and Ivy began to walk backwards, Dylan walking with her, slowly squeezing her neck harder as he began to laugh manically. “ _You’re mine!_ ”

Ivy felt herself trip and fall backwards, not feeling anything but air as she fell down, down, down, Dylan’s face right in front of hers, laughing at her, mocking her, his grip so tight she felt as if her neck was about to-

Ivy awoke with a small jolt, the sheets sticking to her skin.

It had only been a dream.

A very real one.

She peered around her room quietly, not moving her head from the pillow as she took in the wooden floor, the mismatched furniture, the pile of clothes on her chair by the vanity, the peeling and worn band posters and bits of art she’d collected over the years tacked messily to her walls. She squinted at the shaft of sunlight spearing through the curtains, illuminating the room in a hazy morning light. It was empty, and there were no sounds coming from the rest of the apartment, save for the quiet buzz of her slowly dying fridge that she couldn’t afford to replace.

Dylan wasn’t here.

Ivy breathed a little sigh of relief, nestling her head back into the pillows as she turned slightly, smiling when her eyes caught on Calum’s sleeping face. His arm was still draped across her waist, his skin warm. He was lying on his front, face smushed into the pillow, lips parted slightly as soft snores escaped them. Ivy noticed his eyes fluttering and giggled, running a gentle finger through his curls. He looked so peaceful, so calm as always, but there was an added innocence to him when he slept, a tenderness that made Ivy want to nestle herself against his chest, to breathe in his natural, coconutty scent that she was growing to love so dearly. He always smelled slightly of coconuts, she thought, mixed with whatever musky, woody cologne he wore, cigarettes, and a general cleanly smell that must just come with working in sterilised spaces all day.

It drove her wild.

At this thought, she went to wake him up, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his lips just as he’d done to her last night, when she paused. Dylan’s face had flashed through her memory again, his teeth bared, and she flinched, shuffling back towards her side. A shiver went down her spine as she wondered what would happen if he ever found out about what she’d done.

He would probably kill her.

A bolt of fear rocked through her and Ivy exhaled through her nose, her chest tightening as she scrambled out of bed, throwing on a sweatshirt and some cotton shorts as she padded into the kitchen, rubbing at her face. A million thoughts had started firing themselves at her one by one. What if Dylan were to come over right now? What if one of her neighbours saw Calum leaving and mentioned it to Dylan next time, they ran into him in the hallway? What if Dylan hurt her? What if Dylan hurt Calum?

That last thought frightened her more than any of the others, almost buckling her legs as she turned her back to the bedroom door, placing her hands on the counter in front of her, staring straight down at the floor, fighting the tight feeling in her chest. Ivy was almost certain that Calum could beat Dylan in a fight, but she certainly didn’t want to take any chances. You never knew with Dylan. He was unpredictable, in all the worst ways.

She couldn’t let Calum get in the middle of this, risk him getting hurt.

She wouldn’t.

Ivy loosed a breath, letting her shoulders drop a little only to tense back up when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind. She leant her head back onto his shoulder, feeling Calum graze his nose against her neck, kissing her jaw lightly.

“Good morning” He murmured, his voice deep and raspy, making Ivy’s stomach clench. “You always get up this early? It’s 7am on a Saturday”

Ivy laughed lightly, feeling Calum giggle against her skin, his hands still around her waist, fingers brushing idly across her stomach.

“Come back to bed” He whispered in her ear, dipping his head down again to press a feather-light kiss to a mark he’d left on her neck, soothing it over gently with his tongue, his hands tugging at her waist.

Ivy felt her eyes flutter shut, so tempted to let Calum coax her back into bed and do whatever he wanted to do to her. She bit her lip as his fingers brushed just below the waistband of her shorts, his touch alone enough to cast shivers wherever his hand moved to.

But Dylan’s face flashed through her mind again, followed by Calum’s, bruised and bloody, his eyes full of fear and contempt, staring directly at her.

Taking a deep breath to cover up her wince, Ivy slowly stepped out of Calum’s hold, turning to face him, their chests still pressed together. He was shirtless, but had pulled on his scrub trousers, the only clothing he had with him, and they hung low on his waist, Ivy biting her lip as she looked down before casting her eyes straight ahead, staring at an empty spot on the wall over Calum’s shoulder.

“You need to leave” She breathed out, feeling Calum huff out a laugh as he ignored her, still pressing kisses to her neck, her shoulders, his breath against her skin making Ivy tingle all over.

“Very funny” He muttered, pulling his head up to nip at her earlobe, lips moving back to that sweet spot just underneath her jaw. “Now are you coming back to bed or am I going to have to fuck you on the kitchen counter?”

“I’m serious” She said more firmly, ignoring the butterflies that had erupted in her stomach at his last comment. Ivy felt Calum pause momentarily, his head moving back to look at her. She couldn’t bear to look at him, her gaze staying pinned to the wall, only flicking to meet his stare once, squirming as she saw the realisation shift in his eyes. She felt his hands leave her waist, felt him step back slightly, and Ivy knew in that moment that it was over.

“Ivy” He said, and his voice was calm, scarily so. “Ivy look at me”

Ivy continued staring at the wall.

“Ivy” He repeated, his voice raising this time.

She looked at him, saw his tense face, the defeat in his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe she was doing this to him _again_.

“Why do I need to leave, Ivy?” He asked, not a shred of emotion in his voice but Ivy saw his hands tremble just before he crossed them over his chest.

“Because I have a boyfriend” She barely whispered, almost laughing at herself as she said it. Calum actually _did_ laugh; a short, bitter sound that punched her in the gut as he threw his hands up, shaking his head.

“He’s _cheating_ on you! Has been, for God knows how long, and you’re cheating on him as well! Why are you so adamant on staying with him when you’re both so miserable? Please, I’m actually asking you to tell me why because I’m at a loss for words at this point” He spat, staring at her with his eyebrows raised, waiting for an excuse.

“If Dylan finds out about us Calum, he will kill me-”

“I will not let that happen” Calum interrupted her firmly, and Ivy knew he meant every word of it.

“He’ll kill _you_!” Calum laughed again at that, but Ivy carried on, not finding it funny in the slightest. “Calum I’m serious, you don’t know what he’s capable of! I know that you’re bigger and stronger than him, and yeah, in a physical fight, you would most definitely win but he _knows_ people. He’s risen through the ranks in his job and he’s met with, had phone calls with a lot of important sounding people, told me stories of colleagues who have fucked up and then mysteriously disappeared, who have lost all their money, all that kind of stuff. He could set someone on you, get them to hurt you as a threat or worse. He could frame you, you could lose your medical license, Calum you could go to _jail_ -”

“So, you’re telling me your boyfriends a part of the mafia, is that it?” Calum sneered, and Ivy rolled her eyes.

“I know it sounds crazy, but that kind of thing does happen. I’m just so worried Calum, for both of us, but especially for you! You have to understand that-”

“If you’re so worried about putting me in danger, why do you keep doing this?” Calum finally snapped, and Ivy blinked, stepping back.

“Doing what?” She asked timidly, but she already knew the answer.

“ _This!_ ” He yelled, gesturing angrily between the two of them, at the empty space that felt as if it stretched across the whole apartment, like they couldn’t be further apart. “ _You_ are the one that is hurting me over and over again, not fucking Dylan! You’re the one that insists that we’re just friends, then shows up at my office to make out with me, that asks me to fuck you against your apartment wall! You’re the one that is fucking with my head so bad that most nights I don’t sleep at all because all I can think about is you, how you’re everything I’ve ever wanted, ever _needed_. You might not have realised, Ivy, but I’ve fallen for you, _hard_ , and my _God_ has it been a long way to fall. You kiss me like there’s no tomorrow, you’ve told me things in the corner of that coffee house that I probably couldn’t even tell my closest friends. You text me at three in the morning when Dylan’s being an asshole and you can’t sleep, you lend me your favourite books and tell me you can’t wait to talk about them with me, you trust me to help you and to take care of you when you come to my office as a patient, even though every time you’ve been in that position in the past it’s been painful. You are my first thought when I wake up and my last thought before I go to sleep. But yeah, we’re just friends, of course we fucking are” He finished, taking a step back as he realised he had been moving closer as he spoke. Ivy saw his cheeks were damp, his eyes watery before she felt her own tears on her own face, wiping at them quickly as she took a breath.

“Calum, I…”

“You know what I think this is?” Calum interrupted her again, a new wave of anger rushing over him as Ivy shut her mouth. “You’re scared. Dylan is all you’ve known for a long time and whilst you’re not happy, you’re terrified of experiencing life outside of him, outside of this little bubble you’ve put yourself in. I’m some sort of escape to you, aren’t I? You just come and find me whenever you feel like fucking, because I can satisfy you the one way Dylan can’t, and then as soon as you come down from your high you get all guilty and you leave again, not sparing a thought for anyone else, especially not for me. You’re selfish, and a coward, and one day you’re going to be sat in a big empty house in the suburbs whilst Dylan’s in another woman’s bed when he’s supposed to be at work, and you will realise how badly you fucked it all up. And guess what? When that happens, I won’t be around to pick up the pieces.” He finished, stabbing his finger at her chest before he turned on his heel and stormed back into her bedroom.

Ivy was speechless. Literally, speechless. She could do nothing but stand, frozen, staring at where Calum had been stood. She could faintly hear him moving around in her bedroom, but the ringing in her ears made it difficult to figure out what he was doing. It wasn’t until he reappeared, fully dressed and his face set in stone, that Ivy managed to snap out of her reverie long enough to speak. She was hit with a wave of coconut and cigarettes as he strode past her, their shoulders brushing, and Ivy’s heart sank, realising that this was the last time she would get to smell that odd blend of scents.

“What are you doing?” She managed to rasp out, her chest already caving in at the look on his face before he replied.

“What I should’ve done last night instead of kissing you” He said, his voice blunt as he opened the door, eyes looking out into the hallway and not at her. “Leaving”

And with that, he was gone.


	16. fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My GOD this is awful but I just needed a filler chapter or two before anything major happens next, hope you enjoy this super short chapter anyway :)

**_Calum’s POV_ **

****

Calum didn’t even flinch as the door to his apartment flew open, his hand barking in pain as a splinter wedged itself into his skin. It slammed against the wall with a sharp bang, almost hitting Calum in the face as it rebounded had he not already stormed into the middle of his apartment.

He couldn’t get her face out of his head.

The look on it.

She had looked so lost.

Calum hadn’t acknowledged the world around him for the entire journey back from Ivy’s to his. He could’ve been robbed, and he wouldn’t have cared. All he could think about was Ivy, horribly perfect Ivy, and how he couldn’t decide if he hated her or loved her.

_You love her._

This thought stabbed at his mind, not for the first time that morning, and Calum let out a yell, red blurring his vision as he slammed his fist against the kitchen wall, gritting his teeth, letting the pain wash over him for a moment. He felt the anger slowly start to seep out of him, his breathing slowing as he rested his forehead against the wall, wincing at the visible dent that he knew he couldn’t afford to fix. And, on top of that, the thought still hadn’t left his head, instead playing on a loop, taunting him.

Letting out a groan, Calum turned, sliding down the wall until he was on the floor, letting Duke come up to him, cautiously nudging his nose against his owner’s hand. Calum gave him a small smile, ruffling the dogs fur as he felt his heart rate slow, leaning his head back against the wall.

Why did he always manage to screw things up?

He was so angry, _all the time_ , ever since he’d left Bella. He knew that people saw him as this calm, gentle dude, and he had always been like that, always smiling, always wanting to help people. It was like, in the last few months with Bella, she’d taken a little piece of whatever demon was torturing her, a little shard, and shoved it right into the centre of Calum’s heart. There was this constant underlying current of tension, he found himself snapping at any given moment, being in a perfectly fine mood one moment and being a complete ass the next. With Ivy, when he’d gone to her apartment, he should’ve spoken to her like an adult, maintained some calm instead of just yelling, instead of shoving her against a wall.

He knew he wasn’t in the wrong. He knew this was a side effect of a bad breakup, of a toxic relationship, and he also knew that Ivy couldn’t help the way she was acting, and neither could he.

But no matter how many times he told himself this, there was a small voice in the back of his head telling him it was all his fault.

Wincing at this, Calum looked down, noticing the splinter still wedged into the palm of his hand. Shaking his head, he stood from the floor, pulling off his scrubs and throwing them in the wash before he pulled on a pair of sweats and a black tee, trudging into the bathroom in search of a pair of tweezers. He felt calmer now, outburst over, and he made a mental note to himself to start maybe looking into meditation and that kind of thing. He was sick of feeling like this and figured starting to get over Bella and getting healthier was better than moping around all the time and lashing out at people.

Finding some tweezers, he leant against the bathroom cabinet, tugging lightly at the tiny shaft of wood. It made his eyes water, and Calum swore when he finally got it out, chucking the tweezers into the sink and sucking at the tiny bead of blood that had appeared.

“ _You’re such a coward”_ He thought to himself, huffing out a laugh. He pulled teeth on a daily basis and didn’t bat an eye, but one splinter in his hand and suddenly he gets all squeamish.

He padded into his bedroom, falling back on the mattress as he let out a sigh.

He was _still_ thinking about Ivy.

He hated how they had left things. How _he_ had left things. It was a shitty, shitty situation, and Calum couldn’t help but feel like it got worse every time they saw each other. He had told her how he felt, feelings that only seemed to be getting stronger, and he knew she felt the same way. It was unfair of him to blame her, when he knew all too well exactly how it felt to be stuck in a relationship you so badly wanted to leave, but you just couldn’t, for reasons unknown to you. He knew better than to try and message her, to talk things out, to push her further. This was something she needed to do on her own. When she was ready, she’d come find him. He was sure of it.

But still, his mind flashed back to the look on her face. Every time he yelled, or moved closer, or if Dylan was mentioned she’d flinch. Only very slightly, but Calum was trained in noticing non-verbal signs of distress, of fear. He didn’t even want to think about what Dylan had done to her over the years, the manipulation she must’ve gone through for her to react like that. There was no trust between them anymore, on either side. He had so much love for her, all he wanted to do was protect her, to hold her, to kiss her.

But at the same time, he knew if he carried on pursuing this, he’d be the one to get his heart broken.

Or worse, both of them.

 _“Best to just try and move on”_ he thought to himself, turning onto his side as he tried to reclaim some peace, letting the events of the last twenty-four hours fade away.

But he knew, in the back of his head, the second Ivy needed him he’d be there.


	17. fifteen

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

“I brought wine” Leila announced as she walked through Ivy’s unlocked door. “Tell me all about it”

It was now Saturday evening, and Ivy had spent most of the day either staring into space or rushing around her apartment pointlessly in a whirlwind of panic, trying desperately to do anything but think about what had happened that morning. Not wanting to face the prospect of a night alone or with Dylan, she had called up the next best thing.

“I don’t even know where to start” Ivy moaned, getting up from the sofa to perch beside her friend on the breakfast bar stools. Leila tutted, never one for whining and moping, as she unscrewed the bottle top, no doubt one of her five-dollar favourites from the corner shop ( _“It tastes like piss, but it gets you wasted”_ she had said once before) before pouring Ivy a _very_ large glass.

“Well let’s start from yesterday” She said, moving to the microwave to reheat Chinese food she’d brought with her. Ivy hadn’t said that she hadn’t eaten, but her and Leila had been friends for so long now it was like they had some sort of telepathic bond. Ivy rings Leila in tears; Leila brings words of wisdom, food, and wine. “You said on the phone you went to his office and things…happened”

“He went down on me in the chair” Ivy mumbled through her hands, peeking between her fingers to see Leila grinning before she cleared her throat, flicking her hair back.

“Okay and?” She huffed, Ivy looking up at her incredulously.

“ _And?_ Leila, I have a boyfriend! Well-” Ivy paused, realising no one else other than Calum knew about Dylan and who she’d seen him with.

Leila leaned forward on the counter, pinning Ivy with one of her infamous glares.

“’Well’ what?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as Ivy sighed, rubbing her eyes.

“I went to Dylan’s before I saw Calum. I was feeling really guilty about everything and I just wanted to talk, but I got outside his apartment and I saw him through the window with…. with another woman” She mumbled, sensing Leila go dangerously still.

“What was he doing with-”

“They were kissing” Ivy cut her off, swallowing the lump in her throat. She rarely cried in front of people and she wasn’t going to start now. “He’s been cheating on me. God knows how long”

Leila said nothing for a few moments and Ivy looked over at her, noticing the vice-like grip she had on her wine glass. Sitting back on the stool, Ivy let her simmer for a moment, knowing all too well what Leila no doubt was going to say next.

Leila let out a little laugh, looking down at the floor before she placed her glass on the side.

“I’m going to fucking kill him”

“No, you’re not” Ivy said quickly, rolling her eyes as her friend began to get more and more riled up, her fists clenching and unclenching.

“I fucking am. How dare he, how _dare_ he, after everything you’ve done for him! After everything you’ve put up with! I knew he was a bad egg from the start, God, what a cruel, small man to do something like that to someone as lovely as you, I mean I know I’m biased but he should never have been able to pull you in a million years! Ivy I swear to God if you’re not going to tell me you broke up with him-”

“What do you think I did Leila! You know me by now, you know that I’m never getting out of this” Ivy suddenly snapped, before she felt salty tears streaming down her face. Shocked at her own outburst, she began to shake, small sobs racking her body as she put her face in her hands, feeling Leila come beside her, her arms wrapping around her.

“Okay, okay, shhh shhhh, you’re okay girl, it’s okay” Leila mumbled into Ivy’s hair, stroking it lightly as Ivy continued to sob, letting out everything she’d been holding in for the last day.

It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair. Why wasn’t she allowed to just be happy?

The crying carried on for a few more minutes, Leila not letting go until Ivy’s sobs were reduced to hiccups. Slowly, Ivy sat back up, wiping at her eyes as she let out a breath.

“Okay?” Leila asked timidly.

“Okay” Ivy confirmed, shaking off the last couple tears as she sniffed.

“Okay, so I’m guessing you went to see Calum because of what you saw Dylan doing”

Ivy nodded, swallowing down the rest of her wine, Leila automatically pouring her another one.

“I told him I had a toothache so I could see him then and there, because I knew he was at work. He was examining me, and I just got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore, so I jumped up and confessed and he was stood right in front of me, so I just grabbed him and kissed him, and his eyes went all dark and he put me back on the chair and locked the door and then his tongue was-”

“Okay, okay slow down” Leila interrupted, and Ivy stopped, realising she had been talking without breathing for the last minute.

“Sorry. So, yeah, we did that, and it was _amazing_ , but then as soon as it was over the first thing that came into my mind was Dylan? Like all I could see was him sneering at me, so I panicked, and I left, and then he came over that night wanting to talk, and he was all flustered and he mentioned us kissing at your birthday, which I’d forgotten about. Then I just got really overwhelmed and angry and I started yelling and hitting him, and then he pushed me up against a wall and there was all this _tension,_ and we were both so angry and we ended up having sex and it was so _hungry_ and desperate and incredible, Leila, you have no idea…. and then afterwards I could barely stand” Leila smirked, and Ivy elbowed her, laughing a little herself. “And he was just so _gentle_ , he was back to being the Calum I knew, and he picked me up in his arms and put me into bed and got me some water, and then he was lying next to me and rubbing my stomach and whispering in my ear and I swear to you if I could, I’d live in that moment forever. But then that night, I was dreaming of him, except he turned into Dylan, and then when I woke up all I could think about was Dylan and that’s when I started to panic again, and I told him he had to leave, and we got into a huge fight again and he stormed out and I haven’t heard from him since. I just don’t know what’s _wrong_ with me! It’s like every time we’re together and something happens, Dylan pops into my head and I freak out and fuck it all up! I mean is it some kind of trauma thing, I don’t get it! Calum is _perfect_ for me, and I really, really like him, but there’s just something stopping me from leaving Dylan and I don’t know what it is. He’s so bad for me and yet somehow I’m terrified that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him” Ivy finished, slumping in her seat as everything she’d been scared to say for so long rang in her ears, hanging in the air like poison.

“Okay” Leila said quietly, and Ivy didn’t respond, knowing she was thinking of something to say. “The Dylan thing definitely sounds like a trauma response. I mean, he’s manipulated you so much, hurt you so much that you’ve become numb to it, until you try and escape, and he pulls you back in without even trying. I agree, I think Calum is perfect for you, but for now I think you just need to leave it alone. Don’t message him, by the sounds of it he won’t be messaging you, give yourselves some space for a while. Figure out what you’re going to do about Dylan, because I think you and I both know that you need to do _something_ and just focus on yourself for a while. You need time to heal, to grow, and when you’re done with that, the right person will come along. If that’s Calum, then he’ll come back. Trust me” She rubbed Ivy’s arm and Ivy sighed, letting Leila’s words sink in. She was right. She always was. “You want me to stay the night?”

Ivy nodded, feeling like a child but not caring when Leila grinned back at her, handing her a box of takeout. The pair moved to the sofa, taking the bottle of wine with them as Leila flicked through the horror channel.

Ivy had a lot to think about, a lot to reflect on. But for now, all she wanted to do was to get drunk and act silly with her best friend, like they’d done when they were two naïve twenty year olds who had just moved to the big city two years ago.


	18. sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three updates in one night I really am on a warpath lol

**_Calum’s POV_ **

_Two weeks later_

“Aubrey, sweetheart, I promise you it’s not going to hurt”

“You don’t know that”

“I do know that! I’ve probably taken out about a hundred wisdom teeth; I know what I’m doing, and you won’t feel a thing”

“ _You don’t know that_ ”

“I… ugh” Calum groaned, screwing his eyes shut as Aubrey twisted away from him in the chair again, her arms crossed stubbornly.

Calum had been dreading this appointment all week. Aubrey’s mum had rushed her here on Monday, squawking something along the lines of, “She hasn’t eaten in days and her face is all swollen so can you just fix her please because she’s getting really difficult to live with”. Calum had sent her out into the waiting room, leaving him and Aubrey alone to talk for a while. She had let him look and take an x-ray, but the second he told her it was her wisdom teeth, she’d launched into a full-blown panic attack, one that was so bad, the only way Calum had managed to calm her down was by giving her a relaxer. He spoke to her mum and they’d scheduled to do it a week from then, so as to let Aubrey come to terms with the fact that it was happening. Now, one week later here they were, Aubrey, alone, and Calum trying desperately to convince her to lay down. He had tried everything other than restraining her (something he swore he would never, _ever_ do, but Aubrey was beginning to test him). He had promised her cookies, told her what happens to people who don’t get their wisdom teeth removed when they need to, offered Luke to do it so Calum could hold her hand, tried guilt tripping her by saying how many patients he was going to have to reschedule if she took any longer, even asked her if she wanted to stay awake so she knew what was going on (why she would agree to that Calum didn’t know, but he thought it was worth a shot).

Aubrey wasn’t having any of it.

“Aubrey, when have I ever hurt you?” he tried again, coming round to the side of her. He saw her roll her eyes and he smiled, raising an eyebrow in questioning as she turned to face him again.

“You haven’t” She muttered quietly, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. Calum’s mind shot to Ivy doing the same thing, the first time he’d thought about her in a week, but he shrugged it off, taking Aubrey’s hand in his.

“Exactly. You know that I would never hurt a hair on your head. If I wanted to, I could do this surgery with my eyes closed. I won’t-” He reassured her as he saw her eyes widen momentarily. “But I’m just trying to tell you that you’re not in any danger. You’ll be asleep the whole time, and when you wake up, you’ll ache a bit, but within a few days you’re going to be back to normal, I promise you. My friend Luke, who you’ve met before, is going to be helping me, so there’s, like, double the chance that it’s going to go smoothly. I promise you, on my dog’s life, that I will not hurt you”

Aubrey let out a small laugh, squeezing his hand as she inhaled deeply. Calum saw something shift in her eyes, and he knew he’d won her over.

“I’m just really scared” She whispered; her voice so small it made Calum’s heart ache.

“Hey, I know sweetheart, and you have every right to be” Luke came into the room at this point, sticking his tongue out at Aubrey as he came and sat on the chair next to Calum’s. “How you’re feeling right now is totally valid, and I’m not going to start until I know that you’re comfortable and that you trust me, okay? The last thing I want to do is put you to sleep whilst you’re still frightened”

“Aubrey, if you let Calum and I do this, he’ll bleach his hair blonde” Luke chimed in, laughing as Aubrey’s face lit up. Calum went to protest but Luke nudged him. “Oh, come on, you keep saying how you’re thinking of doing it, what better reason to now?” He teased.

“I-ugh okay, fine, yeah, Aubrey if you do this, I’ll bleach my hair blonde” Calum grumbled, but he couldn’t help but smile when he saw Aubrey’s face, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Okay” She said quietly, Luke moving to set up an IV.

“Okay then, let’s get this over with” Calum said, slipping gloves on as Luke did the same. “Luke’s just going to put an IV in your arm, we’ll give you the anaesthesia and put a mask over your face too, it’ll knock you straight out and the next thing you know you’ll be waking up all loopy, sound good?”

“Not really but I don’t think I have a choice at this point” Aubrey groaned, tensing as Calum moved the chair down.

“You’re going to be fine” He reassured her again, looking over at Luke who nodded, indicating the IV was ready. “Hold my hand poppet, don’t look over there”

She did as he said, letting out a small whine when Luke told her she’d feel a small pinch. Calum rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, talking to her soothingly and making sure she wasn’t looking in Luke’s direction as he slid the IV in. She let out a gasp but didn’t cry, her feet tapping together at the end of the chair as she screwed her eyes shut.

“You’re okay, you’re okay” Calum murmured, feeling her grip on his hand tighten. “It’s in, you did amazing, that’s the worst part over with”

“Well done Aubrey you’re doing so well sweetheart” Luke praised her as he injected the anaesthetic, Aubrey letting out a little jump as she no doubt felt it rush through her arm. “Blonde Calum is going to make all of this so worth it”

“Shut up” Calum laughed, rolling his eyes. Luke was right, he had wanted to dye his hair for a while now. He could do with a change.

“Okay sweetheart let’s get you to sleep” He said, him and Luke both slipping masks on as Luke brought the tray of equipment closer and flipped the x-rays onto the screen beside them. Calum fiddled with the oxygen mask, looking down at Aubrey when he heard a sniff, seeing her eyes begin to well with tears.

“Shhh, Aubrey, hey, no tears, you’re so nearly there, you can do this” Calum shushed her, rubbing her cheek with his thumb as he gently held her chin in his hand, tilting her head up. She wiped her tears quickly, looking up at him, her eyelids already beginning to droop.

“Don’t let me die” She whispered, so quietly it was almost like she hadn’t meant for him to hear her.

“Aubrey you are not going to die, I promise you” Calum assured her, feeling Luke stifle a giggle beside him. Patients always said odd things right before they went under, and usually it was funny, but Aubrey looked so tiny, so scared, it only made Calum’s heart ache for her. “This mask is just going to go over your nose and mouth, I need you to take a deep breath okay?”

Aubrey nodded, but it was barely noticeable as she was blacked out less than three seconds later. Taking the mask back off, Calum slid a mouth prop in, moving the light closer as he glanced up at the x-rays.

“Right, let’s get started” He murmured, tilting Aubrey’s head towards him as Luke held the suction. “Pliers”

“I’m not your assistant” Luke grumbled, passing them to Calum nonetheless who began working on the first tooth.

“You are for the next hour” Calum reminded him, practically hearing Luke’s eye roll. “Let me concentrate”

For the first two teeth they stayed quiet, only talking when they needed to, the only sounds coming from the tools they were using. It was going well, one of the easiest wisdom teeth surgeries Calum had ever had to do, so he didn’t complain when Luke started chatting away.

“How are you feeling nowadays? After seeing Bella in the street, I mean. You seem like you’re starting to bounce back”

“Yeah, I’m doing okay” Calum replied, not looking up. “I think I reached a point where I realised, I hadn’t been looking after myself as much as I should. It’s okay to want to focus on you after a breakup instead of just looking for distractions, and I realise that now. I’ve been doing a lot of meditating, journaling, working out, shit like that, you know”

Luke was quiet for a moment, but Calum didn’t question it. Aubrey stifled in her sleep slightly and he pulled back, waiting to see if she was about to wake up. She didn’t, and Calum loosed a breath, carrying on.

“Was Ivy a distraction, then?” Luke asked quietly.

Calum paused again, sighing. Luke had come over the Saturday night after his argument with Ivy and they’d talked, Calum telling him everything; how he felt about Ivy, how he felt about Bella, the argument him and Ivy had had. He had ended up getting so much off his chest without realising, and he had found himself barely thinking about her the past few weeks. That wasn’t to say he had forgotten about her; he had simply accepted the fact that the two of them had some stuff they had to work through on their own.

“No, she wasn’t” He said, letting out a little cheer as the third tooth came free. “My feelings for her were genuine, and I wanted to follow them so badly, but I hadn’t worked through the trauma Bella left me with and that was getting in the way. It wouldn’t have been fair to carry on when we both had shit we needed to recover from. Besides, she’s still with that douchebag boyfriend; until he’s out of the picture, I’m not going back there. I’m only going to end up getting hurt otherwise, or hurting her, which would be worse”

“I agree” Luke mused, handing Calum a tool he’d gestured to. “I think you guys could be really good together, honestly, but you don’t want to go for it at the wrong time and fuck it up. I say you leave her for a little while longer, you’ll know when the time’s right”

“Yeah, but that’s easier said than done, mate. I spend half my time thinking about calling her, and the other half convincing myself not to”

“Well then, go out with other people! There’s a party next Friday, one of my friend’s friend’s. Sierra knows a girl you could take as a date” Calum gave Luke a deadpan look and his friend rolled his eyes at him. “I’m serious! How else are you going to meet people? It’s just something to take your mind off her, I wouldn’t have told you if I thought you were going to get hurt again”

Calum sighed, the last tooth almost free. The fact that he had to see other patients after this and couldn’t go home for another four hours was getting to him, Calum wanting to do nothing more than ignore his best friends love life advice and crawl into his duvet, away from the world. But he knew if he said no to Luke’s offer now, he’d regret it, and also wouldn’t hear the end of it from Luke until he agreed.

“Fine” Calum grumbled, finally tugging free the fourth tooth and quickly beginning the stitches. “But it’s just for that night”

“That’s fine” Luke smiled, pleased with himself. “Oh, and after work you need to go buy some blonde dye. Or go to a hairdresser. You can’t break your promise” He tutted, laughing as Calum rolled his eyes.

“I hate you” He groaned, finishing the stitches and sticking gauze in Aubrey’s mouth before he sat the chair up. “We’re done. I’m going to try and wake her up, Sierra just buzzed saying her dad’s in reception so can you get rid of all that-” he gestured to the tray that was now spotted with blood, four teeth sitting on it. “Before she wakes up, she’ll freak if she sees it”

Luke nodded, blowing the still-unconscious Aubrey a kiss before he left the room to dispose of everything. Taking off his gloves and mask, Calum started gently running his hands up and down Aubrey’s arms, taking out the IV at the same time.

“Aubrey, sweetheart, you gotta wake up” He whispered, pressing two fingers to her neck gently. He saw her eyes flutter momentarily as she made the tiniest noise, quickly followed by a groan.

“Come on sweetheart, let me see those pretty eyes” He cooed, crouching in front of her as she made another noise, her eyes cracking open for a second only to shut again as she squinted against the harsh lights.

“Bright” She mumbled, and Calum laughed softly, still running his hands along her arms.

“You’re all done sweetheart you were _so_ brave, see I told you it wouldn’t be scary” He teased, gently pushing her back upright as her head rolled forward.

“Hurts” She whined again in that tiny voice, a hand moving up to tug the gauze out of her mouth. Calum gently caught her wrist, bringing her hands into his own as he felt what was coming next.

“I know it hurts right now bub but you’re going to be fine by tomorrow night pretty much! I think your Dad might be here to take you home, you wanna go home?”

Aubrey nodded, and, just as Calum had expected, she began to cry shortly after. He smiled sadly, bringing her against his chest, being careful with her head as she sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

“Aubrey why are you crying?”

“I don’t know” She wept; her words muffled. Calum sighed, looking up as Aubrey’s Dad walked in, pushing a wheelchair.

“Uh, the lady behind reception gave me this, I don’t know-”

“Yeah, you’re gonna need it” Calum replied with a laugh, standing slowly as he gently brought Aubrey up with him. “Aubrey you’ve got to go now, but I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“M’kay” She replied with a sniff, on the verge of falling asleep again as Calum set her down in the wheelchair. “Thank you”

“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, go home and rest for me okay?” He said, looking at her Dad as he said it, making sure he knew how important it was that Aubrey was looked after for the next few days. “I need to see you in a week to take your stitches out and I’ll be able to tell if you haven’t been resting, so lots of sleep and lots of soft foods, please, can you do that for me?”

“Sleepyfood” and a lopsided thumbs up was all Aubrey managed to respond with before she blacked out again.

“Thank you, Doctor Hood” her Dad smiled, shaking Calum’s hand as he led them out to reception. Calum leant against the front desk as he watched them leave, turning to Sierra once their car was out of sight.

“She’s a good kid” He sighed, running a hand through his hair as Sierra looked up at him, smiling.

“And you’re a good doctor” Sierra replied, sorting through some files. “Did Luke mention my friend? I get it if you don’t want to, but I just thought it’d be good to take your mind off things, neither of you are looking for anything serious-”

“Yeah, he mentioned it, I said I’d see her” Calum replied, giving her a small smile. “What’s the worst that could happen, you know?”

“That’s the spirit” Sierra responded sarcastically, ruffling his hair as he grinned, sauntering back to his office to prep for his next patient. His mood was in higher spirits than it was this morning, and for the first time in weeks, Calum was feeling optimistic about the days to come.


	19. seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: brief mentions of rape / sexual assault

“Ashton, I feel like we shouldn’t be here” Ivy mumbled, gazing around anxiously at the crowd of people cramped into the tiny bar. Someone bumped into her from behind and she jumped, almost spilling the champagne in her glass down the front of her ridiculously low-cut top Leila had forced her to wear.

“Me neither but we’re having fun, right! Better than being sat at home on your own moping” Ashton responded; his arm looped round KayKay’s waist as he scanned the room for Leila. “Where’d Leila-ah, never mind” He murmured, laughing into his drink as Ivy followed his gaze, sighing when she saw her best friend pressed up against a wall, a rich-looking stranger’s tongue down her throat.

“So much for sticking together the whole night” She muttered, wrapping her arms round her frame.

It’d been Leila’s idea to drag them all to this party. Ivy hadn’t a clue how she’d even heard of it or who’s it was, only that everyone here was a lot more expensive looking than the four of them. They had been served dirty looks all night, no one else bothering to talk to them, so the small group had opted to stay tucked in a corner by the bar, Ivy and Leila getting considerably drunker as the hours ticked by. At first, Ivy had been eager for a night out, something to take her mind off things. Of course, Dylan had insisted he come along too, for some reason, but he’d barely been with her the whole night, something that Ivy wasn’t going to complain about. She just couldn’t help but feel unwanted, the pretentious urban jazz playing through the speakers and the minimalistic chandeliers glittering above her mixed with the arrogant glances she’d been on the receiving end of all night starting to make her feel slightly dizzy.

“Where’d Dylan go? I’m starting to feel like you’re third wheeling us” Ashton asked, his eyes scanning the room again for the face of a man he infamously hated. Ivy laughed to herself quietly; no matter how much Ashton couldn’t stand being in Dylan’s presence, he’d rather endure it than see Ivy stood on her own, clearly uncomfortable.

“I don’t know, he said he’d seen a friend from work that he was going to go speak to-” Ivy cut herself off when her eyes finally landed on her boyfriend, her blood going cold.

He was stood in the furthest corner from her, tucked into the shadows behind a stupidly big indoor plant. She almost couldn’t see him, but then his hand, wrist adorned in the unmistakable vintage watch she’d bought him for his birthday last year, moved out of the dark and dragged a finger across a woman’s cheek who’s face Ivy would never be able to burn from her memory.

Her.

Ivy’s first thought was that the woman was so much prettier than her, so much more Dylan’s type. Her second thought was her wondering if the woman knew about Ivy, knew how much of a monster Dylan was. And her third thought, was how she was incredulous to the fact that Dylan had the _audacity_ to stand and flirt with this woman whilst Ivy was stood in the same room.

“Ivy?” KayKay asked quietly, waving her hand in front of Ivy’s face. “You okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost”

Ivy blinked, dragging her eyes away from the pair and back onto KayKay and Ashton, who were looking at her with deep concern. Realising she had been stood in shocked silence for the last minute, she shuddered, plastering on a fake smile that just about managed to suppress the bile rising in her throat.

“I’m fine! I’m fine, really, I think I’m just going to go get some air-” Ivy rambled as she saw Ashton’s eyes fall onto where she’d been looking moments before, his jaw set as he clenched his fist. No doubt Leila had told Ashton about the cheating; he’d been treading eggshells around her at work all week.

“Is that her?” He gritted out, ignoring KayKay rubbing soothing circles into his side.

“Ashton it’s fine, really, I’m just gonna go outside for a bit-”

“It’s fine my ass, I’m gonna fucking kill him” Ashton spat, moving to storm towards Dylan, looking like he was going to do something that would end up getting him arrested.

“Ashton, I’m serious, please, please don’t. I’m begging you, please don’t” Ivy scrambled in front of him, pushing him back slightly as she stared at him desperately, begging him to look at her. “It’ll only make things worse” She whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek when Ashton finally looked at her, his face softening. She saw him think for a moment before he slumped, running a hand through his hair.

“Fine. But if you happen to change your mind, you just say the word and I’m straight over there” He muttered, Ivy exhaling in relief. “You need us to come outside with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine, I just need some time alone” Ivy stammered, feeling her face get hot as she downed the rest of her champagne and swiped a shot of vodka off a tray as a waiter moved past her, downing it unflinchingly. “I’ll be back in a bit”

The couple simply nodded at her, sympathetic smiles on their faces as Ivy turned and began weaving through the crowd towards the glass French doors that would lead her to a dimly lit outdoor area. She ignored the spiteful glances she received as she nudged past person after person, her vision getting blurrier as she worried, she might not even make it outside before she fainted, or worse. Finally breaking through the wall of people, she pushed against the doors, both opening gracefully under her touch as she staggered out into the smoking area, panting hard.

Thankfully, there was no one else out here, the New York chill of winter being too much for whatever smokers were gathered inside. Ivy was grateful for the icy breeze, sighing in relief as she shut her eyes, leaning against the railing facing the party indoors. She took a couple deep breaths in and out, the nauseous feeling from before slowly fading. Outside, she was more aware of how drunk she was, her thoughts blurring together with the sounds of the street round the corner. From out here, she couldn’t see Dylan and his woman, and for a moment Ivy felt free, not bound by heartbreak or torment as she leant her head back slightly, letting the air of the City she’d fallen in love with wash over her. No matter how many times she got hurt, it was nothing that a couple hours on top of the Rockefeller watching the sunset over Manhattan couldn’t fix.

Bringing her head back upright, Ivy glanced momentarily into the bar, and for the second time that night she froze, paralysed by shock.

He had changed his hair. Recently, by the looks of it, his once dark brown curls now ever so slightly shorter and a shade of warm blonde. It blended well with the tone of his skin, offsetting the melanin in him even more, painting an image of gold in her vision. He was stood with a small group of people, Luke being one of them, looking not all that entertained, his gaze unfocussed somewhere else before a member of the circle made a joke and he started, his face automatically switching to a carefree laugh. He was dressed in an all-black outfit; smart trousers and a button-down shirt with a matching blazer jacket that fit his figure nicely, accentuating the broadness of his chest and arms, a slim silver chain hanging from his neck. Ivy found herself staring at him, a million thoughts swirling through her head, most of them dirty, more of them confused, until he moved back slightly, revealing his right arm hooked around the waist of a _very_ pretty woman.

Ivy made a little noise in the back of her throat, almost choking. She had no right to be jealous, no right to be upset. She had turned him down time and time again, messed with his feelings and his head so much when all he had wanted was to give her his everything. There was no doubt in her mind that if he were to see her tonight, he wouldn’t hesitate to walk straight past her, not batting an eye. He deserved to be happy. She wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

But none of this seemed all that important to Ivy when she saw the girl look up at him through lowered lashes, whispering something in his ear as he leant down to her that caused a grin Ivy knew all too well to spread across his face.

It wasn’t fair.

Forcing herself to turn away, Ivy swallowed, not fighting the little dots that began to invade her vision. She tried to focus on a rubbish bin across the street, running her eyes over its edges and dull colour again and again before-

Ivy collapsed to the floor and threw up in the plant pot next to her.

 _“God I’m glad there’s no one out here”_ She thought to herself again, shaking as she hugged the ceramic pot and angrily bit back tears. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or what she’d seen tonight, or both, but either way she felt her grip on her surroundings slowly start to slip away, her mind going fuzzy. In the back of her head, she heard herself screaming to get up and get back inside before a passer-by with ill intentions saw her, but every time she tried to move, her legs turned to jelly, and she could do nothing but throw up again, her throat growing sorer by the minute. Muted panic started to invade her body, a small cry escaping her lips when she felt someone’s hands on her back.

“No” Ivy whimpered, attempting to crawl away feebly and panicking even more when the person pulled her back in front of the plant pot with no effort, moving her hair out of her face.

“Don’t panic, it’s me” A voice reassured her, Ivy not needing the person to say their name even in her state, her entire body stilling when she realised who it was.

“Calum?” She whispered, arms beginning to shake again as she leant on the pot in front of her, putting all of her energy into hiding her face from him.

“Yeah, hi” He murmured, one hand still twisting her hair back, the other rubbing up and down her back. “Are you alright?”

“Fabulous” She slurred sarcastically, spitting into the pot one more time before she pushed it away from her, moving around to lean against the railing again. Sitting upright now, she spared a glance up at him as he crouched next to her. His eyes were darting over her face, his forehead creased in worry as he held a hand to her cheek, causing Ivy to blush. “What are you doing here?”

“I only came out for a smoke” He said, his eyes still scanning her worriedly. Always the doctor, always the one to make sure everyone’s okay.

“You shouldn’t smoke”

“Yeah, well, I do, so sue me” He huffed, satisfied that she was more or less alright and pulling a lighter out of his pocket as he lit one, as if to prove his point. He took a long drag of it before offering it to Ivy, who scrunched her nose up, shaking her head. “What about you, why are you here?”

“Gate-crashing” She mumbled, earning a short laugh from Calum.

They were quiet for a moment whilst Calum smoked, comfortably quiet, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Ivy almost had the urge to lean her head on his shoulder, but she didn’t, blinking this thought away as she moved to stand.

“I’m going back indoors” She shuddered out, standing up in one movement only to send her head spinning, almost falling back over again had Calum not shot up and caught her.

“Easy, I’ve got you” He murmured, tossing his cigarette as his hands fastened on her waist, only making Ivy’s head spin more. “Take my jacket, you’re shaking”

“No thank you” She spat, stepping away from him only to wobble again, reluctantly falling back into Calum’s arms.

“Okay, well then I’m calling you a cab. You need to go home, you’re wasted” He muttered, going to fish his phone out of his pocket whilst he kept Ivy leaning on his chest, his fingers running up and down her back.

“What would your girlfriend say if she saw you out here?” Ivy heard herself hiss, wincing at the venom in her words. She felt Calum stiffen, his fingers faltering for a second.

“She’s not my girlfriend” He sighed after a moment, dialling a number into his phone. “I wouldn’t think you’d care anyway”

“Oh, fuck you” She spat, her head now becoming clear enough for her to stand on her own as she took a few steps back from him, wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered, both from the cold and the drunken rage that was now starting to creep up on her. “That’s not fair, you know that’s not fair”

“Not fair? Don’t even get me started on what’s not fair Ivy” He hissed, glancing into the bar quickly to make sure they couldn’t be seen.

“Dylan loves me more than you anyway” She snapped, wincing at the lie. “He can take care of me more than you ever could. I don’t _need_ you. Just like you said all those weeks ago, you were just a distraction. Besides, why are you out here arguing with me when you could be inside with her? You really hate me that much you can’t just leave me alone?”

Ivy despised herself for the flicker of hurt she saw in Calum’s eyes, his face softening for a moment.

“I don’t hate you Ivy” He murmured, his voice quiet, tender. “I could never hate you"

This rocked Ivy into silence, the pair still stood in the freezing cold, staring at each other. A million questions hung in the air between them, a sudden urge to run into his arms wrapping itself around her throat so strongly she almost choked. She could tell he wanted to say something, as did she, the two of them taking a step towards each other until-

“What’s going on?”

**_Calum’s POV_ **

****

Calum saw Ivy’s face fall completely when a voice sounded behind him, knowing there was only one person in New York that had that effect on her.

Dylan sauntered into the space between the two of them, looking back and forth shrewdly. He was drunk, not as drunk as Ivy was but drunk enough that Calum knew to be weary of him, eyeing him up and down as Dylan did the same to him.

“You again” He sneered, and Calum half expected him to spit at his feet. “Can’t seem to stay away from my girl, can you?”

Calum put his hands in his trousers pockets, clenching them hard as he gritted his teeth.

“I was actually calling her a cab, mate, she needs to go home”

“Does she now?” Dylan responded sarcastically, moving closer to Calum with every word. Sparing a glance to Ivy, Calum saw her trembling where she stood, so much so he could almost hear her jewellery clinking together. “And how would you know what my girlfriend needs, hmm?”

“First of all, her name is Ivy” Calum remarked, savouring the sour look Dylan adopted for a brief second. “Second, see for yourself. She’s clearly hammered, you need to get her home and put her to bed. She’s just spent the last five minutes throwing up in the freezing cold, I’m surprised she hasn’t blacked out yet” Calum spared another glance to Ivy as he finished, making sure she wasn’t about to do just that. She met his stare for a second, her eyes darting frantically around the smoking area, not lingering on himself or Dylan for more than a moment.

She was scared.

“Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I’ll put her to bed alright, thank you” Dylan smirked darkly, Calum’s blood going cold. As Dylan turned away from him towards Ivy, the light from inside hit the skin of his neck, exposing a dark bruise that looked no more than a couple hours old.

Calum knew for a fact that Ivy hadn’t given that to him.

“That’s fucked up man” He said quietly, feeling Dylan stop and turn around towards him. Calum didn’t meet his stare, but he felt the tremor in his voice, the white-hot anger that was starting to sear through his veins. “You so much as lay a finger on her-”

“You’ll what? Come on tough guy, what are you gonna do about it?” Dylan spat. From behind him, Calum saw Ivy trying to edge away, only for Dylan to grab her wrist, yanking her next to him. She moaned, swaying on the spot, her eyes fluttering open and closed.

“Think about what you’re saying! You just admitted to _rape_ , she’s clearly in no fit state to consent to anything-”

“Oh, give it a rest you fucking saint, you think I care about that? She’s my girlfriend, I don’t need consent-”

“Don’t you dare” Calum cut him off with a snarl, his skin on fire as he saw how helpless Ivy looked, how firm Dylan’s grip on her wrist was. He began to walk towards them, covering the space in two strides. “Don’t you fucking dare hurt her-”

“Don’t come any closer” Dylan half shouted, moving so quickly that all of a sudden, he’d dragged Ivy in front of him, locking her neck in his arm as she cried out, almost collapsing to the floor. Calum panicked, stepping back with his hands up when Dylan tightened his grip, Ivy beginning to choke. “Take one more step and you know what happens”

Calum stilled completely, the realisation finally hitting him that this man was _dangerous_. An actual, genuine threat. Not to him necessarily, but to Ivy…

The ringing in his ears grew louder.

“Let her go, mate” He heard himself say quietly, his hands shaking violently as he saw a tear slip down Ivy’s face. “Please, just let her go, you’re hurting her-”

“We’re leaving now” Dylan responded calmly, that evil smirk on his face again. “Aren’t we darling, yeah? Let’s get you home” He uttered into Ivy’s ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she flinched, having no choice but to put her weight into his hold as he started to escort her past Calum back into the bar. Calum stayed frozen, his eyes following them as he saw Dylan’s hands roaming across Ivy’s back, her waist.

He felt so helpless.

They reached the double doors, and Ivy managed to look over her shoulder at him for a second. Their eyes met, and Calum almost drowned in the overwhelming fear he saw written all over her face. He went to walk towards her, to take her from Dylan’s arms and protect her with everything he had.

But before he could take a step, they had vanished through the doors and from his sight.

He swallowed, feeling a dense crushing feeling in his chest. His whole body was still shaking, adrenaline coursing through him so aggressively he felt like he needed to either scream or hit something before he self-combust. His eyes searched the bar again, catching onto the girl he’d come with. She smiled at him inquisitively, a sultry finger beckoning him back inside. Half of him wanted to do just that: go back indoors, get _outrageously_ drunk, get caught up in conversations he didn’t care about and then take that girl home and fuck the living daylights out of her until he couldn’t stand up.

He couldn’t even remember her name.

Calum let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding, his shoulders dropping visibly.

He couldn’t go back in there. Not after what he’d just witnessed.

Swallowing his anger, Calum tore his eyes away from the woman still silently flirting with him and walked out of the smoking area, into the night.


	20. eighteen

“It’s not your fault” Luke said, probably for the seventeenth time that morning.

“I should’ve done something” Calum muttered, pacing back and forth in Luke’s tiny office. They’d been open an hour, the day starting off slow, so Calum had taken the opportunity to fill Luke in on what had happened the night before.

Needless to say, Luke was now just as worried as Calum had been for the past twelve hours.

“You couldn’t have done anything. If you’d tried, he might have hurt her even more, you said yourself how unpredictable he was being. Besides, she’s text you this morning, she’s fine, you don’t need to worry” Luke tried reassuring his friend, but even he struggled to believe what he was saying.

He was right, Ivy had text him this morning, much to Calum’s shock. It had been nothing fancy, just a simple: “I’m sorry”. Calum had stared at the message for about five minutes before he’d typed back “Stay safe” and put all of his willpower into not marching over to her apartment right that second to make sure she wasn’t being held hostage.

The idea was still tempting him now.

“Yeah, well I’m gonna worry regardless. You weren’t there, Luke, you didn’t see her face. She was so, so scared, I don’t even want to think about what he’s done to her in the past that’s made her like that-” Calum cut himself off, taking a deep breath as he blinked back the all too vivid images that had begun flashing through his mind.

“Dude, you need to relax. You’ve got a whole day ahead of you full of patients, you can’t help them if your minds elsewhere. I know you’re worried, I know you’re scared, but there’s nothing else you can do right now. If you went after her you’d only be doing him a favour, it’s not worth it” Luke explained as calmly as he could, placing a hand on his friends back when he slumped onto the end of the chair in the middle of the room.

“She is” Calum said through his hands, his elbows resting on his knees as he swallowed back the tears he could feel rising. “She is worth it”

Luke didn’t say anything, just patted Calum on the back once more before moving over to the computer, giving him space. Calum was grateful, taking deep breaths in and out as he tried to calm himself down. No matter how hard he tried, Ivy’s frightened face wouldn’t leave his head, and it was starting to drive him slightly mad. He knew that getting any more involved would just end up with Ivy getting more hurt, the last thing he wanted to happen. He knew he should stay away, for both his own good and hers, but at the same time there was a voice telling him that if he did nothing, he’d seriously regret it. His mind cast back to her in that smoking area, her tiny body, like she hadn’t eaten in weeks, the way she’d trembled.

God, the way she had shook when Dylan had come outside.

Calum winced, shaking his head slightly as he loosed a breath. He felt his entire body tingling, the urge to get up and walk out right now, to go to her, almost too much. A flip switched in his mind and he stood, going to walk out the door just as the phone rang and Sierra’s voice came over the speaker.

“Calum, your 10:30 is here, they’re waiting for you in your room”

Calum stopped mid-stride, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt Luke eyeing him wearily from across the room, as if he could read his mind.

“Leave it, mate. There are other people who need your help right now” He said quietly, Calum’s back still turned from him.

Calum let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. Luke was right; he needed to do his job, put his personal life aside just for the next few hours. Even if it killed him.

“Okay” He said quietly, giving in as he walked out of Luke’s office and down the hall to his own. Stopping in front of the door for a moment, he took a deep breath, letting an easy-going smile wash over his face as he walked in to face a father and his five-year-old son.

“Hi, Doctor Hood, please take a seat” He smiled, praying that the torment coursing through his body wasn’t noticeable as he slipped gloves on.

~

That night, Calum was sat on his sofa, his knee bouncing erratically as he stared at the black phone screen on the coffee table in front of him.

He didn’t know what to do.

What if rung her, and Dylan answered? What if he didn’t ring her, and something happened to her tonight, something that he could have prevented? What if he was already too late?

“Fucking Hell” Calum muttered under his breath, standing from the sofa as he begun to pace again, his mind spinning. He had never felt concern like this, emotions as strong as this, for anyone before, except maybe Bella. There was a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him whatever decision he made would lead to horrible consequences.

Duke yapped at him from the sofa and Calum turned to him, his heart slowing for a second. The small dog had always been a source of comfort, of calm, even in moments like this. He moved to the back of the sofa, reaching his arm down to ruffle the dog’s fur, when he heard a noise emanating from the coffee table.

Calum’s heart stopped altogether.

His phone was ringing.

He almost tripped as he bolted round to it, drawing in a sharp breath when he saw the caller’s name at the top of the screen.

‘ _Ivy’_

Not hesitating for a second longer, he picked his phone up, almost dropping it as he held it to his ear.

“Hello?” He breathed out, but all he was answered with was muffled sobs.

“Ivy? Ivy, are you okay? What’s happened?” He panicked, already striding to his bedroom to pull shoes and a hoodie on as he heard her take a ragged breath.

“W-we’re finished. Me and D-Dylan, we’re over” She stammered out, her breathing getting quicker with every word. Calum stilled for a moment, not quite believing what he’d just heard.

“Ivy-”

“I’m sorry for ringing you, I just, I didn’t know who else to call, I’m so scared, what if-”

“Ivy you have nothing to be sorry for okay? Listen to me, listen to me-” He paused as he heard Ivy’s breathing slow for a moment, trying to distinguish what he was saying. “I’m already on my way. Stay on the phone, I’m gonna get there as quick as I can” He reassured her, his own heart pounding as he walked back into the kitchen, grabbing his keys off the side as he took the stairs two at a time, eventually reaching his car and throwing himself into it, Ivy’s cries filling the empty space as he turned the engine on. “Stay with me sweetheart, I’m coming”

“Thank you” He heard her whisper, her voice barely audible.

“You’re gonna be okay” He said back, the only words he felt capable of saying as he uttered them over and over again every time Ivy’s cries grow louder, his heart hammering as he weaved through the thankfully quiet streets.

At this point, he wasn’t sure if he was saying it to reassure her or himself.


	21. nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 500 hits!!

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

Ivy felt her hands ball into fists as she stared at the lacy pink thong that she’d found under her pillow.

It wasn’t hers.

Her and Dylan hadn’t said a word to each other all day, but for some reason he was hanging around her apartment, lounging on the sofa, nursing a headache. It was both of their days off, now the early evening, and after last night, she was more than grateful.

She could barely remember what had happened.

She knew that Calum had been there. She had a feeling she’d embarrassed herself in front of him, no surprise. She vaguely remembered some kind of argument between him and Dylan, and she _definitely_ remembered Dylan’s hand on her throat.

After that? Nothing.

And that terrified her.

Her eyes continued to burn into the piece of underwear, almost feeling like it was taunting her as it sat there, nestled into her duvet like a trophy.

He had a place of his own, and for some reason he had _still_ brought her back to Ivy’s when she hadn’t been home and fucked her in her _own bed_. It’s like he wanted to get caught.

Ivy wondered if it had happened the night he’d surprised her after her appointment with Calum, wondered if it was guilt that had made him do that.

She thought about all the degrading comments he’d thrown at her over the last two years. All the times she’d cancelled plans with friends or family because of him. Every time she’d stopped herself from eating because he’d made a comment about her weight. All the nights she’d spent sleepless, in tears, because she’d made one remark that had sent Dylan into a suicidal spiral that he would threaten her with over text. She thought about the bruises on her thighs, on her arms, on her waist. She thought about the manipulating, the gaslighting, the screaming matches that she knew deep down were never caused by her.

She thought about how one night with Calum had been infinitely better than a million nights with Dylan, in every way possible.

She thought about last night, how she couldn’t remember what had happened, but there was a feeling in her stomach that told her everything she’d need to know.

Ivy felt her hands curl into fists, nails biting into her palms.

Enough was enough.

Snatching the thong from off the bed, she stormed into the living room where Dylan was still stretched out on the sofa, a football game blaring on the TV.

“Get up” She snarled, throwing the underwear at him as he jumped, frowning at her. “Get up and get out, _now_ ”

Dylan rolled his eyes, ignoring her.

“What’s wrong honey?” He drawled, his eyes on the TV.

Ivy said nothing, only grabbed his arm, yanking him up with a force she didn’t realise she was capable of. Dylan looked shocked too, stumbling as he backed away from her.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He yelled, taking a step towards her.

“Get the _fuck_ out of my home. I know everything. I know about the cheating, I know about her, and I’m done. _We_ are done” She yelled back, savouring the thrill of the moment.

“Are you accusing me of cheating? How dare you! How _dare_ you, after all those times I’ve seen you hanging around that Calum bloke at parties. I would never, ever do that to you-”

“Save me the bullshit, Dylan, I _know_. I have seen you, _several times,_ with another woman, so don’t even bother lying. All you have done, for the past two years, is hurt me, over and over, and I have had enough. There are people out there that care more for me than you ever will, and I finally realise that. We’re done, now leave” She spat, flinching slightly as Dylan stepped towards her again.

“You’re a disgrace, you know that? Not to mention a hypocrite. You can’t live without me, you know you can’t, I give it a week and you’ll be crawling back-”

“ _Get out!”_ She screamed at him, shoving her hands against his chest. “ _Fucking get out right now!_ ”

She shoved him, again and again, curses flying from her lips. Dylan barely moved under her touch, only snarling as he pushed her back, sending Ivy spinning face first into the wall behind her, her face smacking against the brick, hard. She tasted blood on her tongue, only riling herself up more as she turned around, her hands moving to shove him again-

Dylan landed a swift punch to her face, knocking her straight to the floor.

The room went silent.

Ivy was breathing hard, looking up at him, scared, as her head spun. She saw panic flash across his face, not even checking to see if she was alright as he swore, grabbing his things and running straight out the door.

_Good riddance._

In shock, Ivy reached for her phone out her back pocket, her entire body aching as she dialled for the one person, she knew she needed right now. She listened to the dial, hearing him pick up within seconds, and it wasn’t until this point that she realised she was crying, hard.

She heard Calum’s panicked voice down the other end of the phone, heard him getting in the car, speaking soothing words to her the entire time. Ivy said nothing in response, only picked herself off the floor and limped into her bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. Her head felt heavy, her whole _body_ felt heavy, and she didn’t bother to pick it up again when her phone slipped from her hand and onto the floor, ending the call. Still crying, she let her eyes flutter shut, clinging onto the fact that the person she’d needed all along would be here soon.


	22. twenty

**_Calum’s POV_ **

****

Calum let out a yell as the call suddenly ended, hitting his hand on the steering wheel. She sounded hurt, physically hurt, her breaths ragged, only making Calum’s mind race faster.

She needed him, right now.

After what felt like a millennium, he pulled up outside her building, hitting the curb and almost forgetting to lock the door as he sprinted up the steps and all the way to her floor, lungs aching. His heart stuttered as he reached her door, panic bolting through him when he found it unlocked. He strode into the apartment, locking the door behind him and calling her name when he found the kitchen and lounge empty. He staggered to the bedroom, catching his breath and freezing when he saw a tiny figure curled up in the middle of the mattress.

Ivy.

Lunging forward, he dropped to the floor in front of her, moving her phone onto the side as he scanned her face in the semi-darkness. She looked like she was sleeping, but Calum wasn’t taking any chances, gently feeling for the pulse in her neck before he shook her slightly.

“Ivy” He urged, tucking her hair away from her face. “Ivy, wake up, please, open your eyes for me”

She jolted suddenly, her eyes flying open as his hand stroked across her cheek. She let out a yelp, scooting away from him on the bed, frantic.

“Hey, Ivy it’s okay, it’s me, it’s Calum, you’re safe” Calum rushed out, flipping the bedside lamp on as he held her still, not wanting her to fall off the bed. She halted in her panic, eyes locking with his in realisation and Calum’s heart dropped as the light hit her face.

He saw the deep bruise blossoming along her cheekbone, the crusts of blood on her eyebrow and lip.

If it wasn’t for her, he would’ve marched out of that apartment right that second and hunted Dylan down, killing him with his bare hands.

But he saw the look on Ivy’s face, saw the deep fear etched across her features, and he knew violence wouldn’t help matters, at all.

“Hey, you” He whispered, his hands still on her shoulders, rubbing at her skin as she shook. She didn’t say anything, just looked at him, her eyes glossed over with tears that looked seconds away from spilling over. “He’s not here, it’s just me and you”

Still, silence.

“Did he do this to you?” Calum asked, his throat catching as he brushed a hand lightly over her cheek, Ivy flinching away, nonetheless. She was like a wild, hurt animal, not a trace of the light-hearted girl he had begun to know left in her. She was still trembling, and Calum sighed, feeling his own tears start to form. “I’m so sorry, Ivy”

And that was when she broke.

She let out a small cry, falling forward into his arms. Calum moved from the floor to the edge of the bed, catching her just in time to stop her hitting her head against him, propping her up so she was resting on his shoulder, her body curled against his own, hands clutching his hoodie in a death grip as she sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her without hesitation, resting his chin on the top of her head as she shook violently, her cries piercing his ears and digging into his brain.

“Shhh, shh” He soothed her, rocking them back and forth gently, moving his leg so she was practically in his lap. “It’s okay, you’re okay”

They stayed like that, Calum stroking her hair as she continued to cry, clinging to him for dear life. He could feel her heartbeat hammering against him, her breaths becoming too short for his liking as he tilted her head up, eyes searching her face.

“Ivy sweetheart, breathe, breathe for me, c’mon” He urged her, holding her hand flat against his chest, taking exaggerated breaths for her to follow. “Just like we did that day at my office, you can do it”

She struggled, taking ragged breaths but doing as he said anyway, her eyes locking with his, tears still streaming from them. He brought her closer, their foreheads pressed together as he shushed her, hands running up and down her arms, doing anything and everything he could to ground her.

“There you go bub, that’s it” He praised her quietly, letting out a sigh of relief when he finally felt her breaths slow, her pulse returning to a normal pace when he felt for it in her wrist. He kept her hand in his, bringing it to his lips as he pressed a soft kiss to her skin. She shut her eyes for a moment, taking a final deep breath as she opened them again, tears stopping at long last. She gave him a tiny, sad smile, reaching her hand up to brush away his own tears that he hadn’t even realised were falling. He rested his head in her hold, looking at her quietly.

“You changed your hair” She mumbled; her voice croaky as Calum let out a small smile.

“I did, yeah” He laughed softly, his heart warming when she joined him.

“It suits you” She whispered, reaching up to run a hand through it, Calum fluttering his eyes shut at the soft touch. He looked down at her, an unreadable look on her face as she twirled the ends in her fingers, pulling away when she shivered. Calum blinked, realising she was only wearing a tank top and sweats, immediately pulling his hoodie off.

“Put this on, arms up” He said, not letting her argue as he weaved her arms through the sleeves, gently tugging the top over her head. He heard her let out a yelp just before her head appeared, the hood hanging low over her eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hit my cheek with my hand” She sniffed, tensing when Calum pushed the hood back slightly, tilting her head so the light illuminated the bruise that was looking nastier by the minute.

“We need to get you fixed up, come on” He sighed, standing from the bed as he held his hand out to her, only to see Ivy shaking her head rapidly.

“I don’t wanna go to the hospital” She trembled, tears beginning to form again as Calum crouched in front of her, taking her hands in his.

“We won’t need to; you got a first aid kit?” Ivy shook her head. “Okay, we’ll go back to mine, I’ve got a fancy one in the bathroom. It’s like you forget that I’m a doctor sometimes” He smiled teasingly, brushing a stray tear from her cheek.

“You’re a doctor of teeth” Ivy remarked quietly, letting him pull her to her feet, his hands fastening on her waist as she swayed.

“Still a doctor, I know a concussion when I see one” He said firmly, scanning her face as he noticed her eyes were slightly unfocussed. “I won’t hurt you, I promise”

“I know” She whispered, breaking his gaze as her eyes darted around the room nervously, like a switch had flipped in her head. “Can we go? I need to go; I can’t stay here-”

“Yeah, we can go” He nodded, rubbing her back. “Sit here for a second, I’m gonna grab you a bag and you just point to where stuff is, anything you need. The smaller number of times you have to come back here for clothes and shit, the better”

Ivy agreed quietly, perching on the end of the bed as Calum picked up a gym bag that was chucked in the corner, moving around the room swiftly as Ivy pointed to various drawers and cabinets, describing the clothes in there and what she wanted as he packed it, pressing a light kiss to her forehead every time he walked past her. He moved into the bathroom, finding the washbag she’d mentioned and filling it with makeup, cleanser, a toothbrush etc. Finished, he moved back into the bedroom, seeing Ivy standing by the door, phone charger and a soft, stuffed bear in her hands.

“Couldn’t help but notice there was no floss in the bathroom” He teased, tutting as she rolled her eyes. “Who’s this guy?”

“This is Bernie” She smiled, her cheeks flushing as she fiddled with the threadbare ear of the bear in her hands. “I’ve had him since I was born, I know it’s stupid-”

“It’s not stupid” Calum said firmly, his heart threatening to burst as he looked at her, drowning in his hoodie, her eyes big and woeful, looking smaller than she ever had. “You ready to go?”

Ivy nodded, taking his hand as he led her through the apartment, squeezing her hand when he heard her whimper as they passed a wall, spots of blood adorning it.

“You’re okay” He murmured, guiding her out into the hallway and letting her lean on him as he locked the door with the keys she’d handed him. “Cars just outside”

She nodded, sniffing lightly as he helped her down the stairs, frowning when he noticed her limping. They stepped out into the icy streets and Calum unlocked the car, helping her in before getting into his side, starting the engine. Before he pulled away, he turned to look at her, smiling gently, taking her hand in his own again.

“I’m right here” He murmured, her bottom lip wobbling as she looked at him. “And I’m not going anywhere”

Ivy only nodded, no speaking required as Calum pulled out into the street and started the short drive back to his place, the only sounds being Ivy’s occasional sniffs and the lilting tune of Bon Iver’s ‘Rosyln’ playing through the stereo.


	23. twenty one

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

“Home sweet home” Calum announced as he unlocked his apartment door, letting her step past him into the open living room. His place was bigger than she remembered it being, and Ivy smiled slightly as she took in the cosy looking furniture, the odd books and empty coffee mugs littered around the room. There was a record player in the corner with a stack of vinyl’s piled next to it, a poster of David Bowie on the exposed-brick wall above it. It was like glimpsing at a little piece of Calum’s soul, and Ivy didn’t fight the feeling of familiarity, of comfort that coursed through her as she loosed a breath.

“I know it’s not much, but you can stay here as long as you need to, seriously” Calum mumbled coming to stand beside her, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, almost looking embarrassed. “The heating cuts out every so often and the sofa can be kind of uncomfy, and you can hear a lot of the noise from the street but-”

“Calum this is perfect” Ivy said quietly, cutting him off as she tore her eyes away from the room around her and faced him, smiling. “Thank you”

“You don’t need to thank me” He murmured, looking at her for a moment before his eyes caught onto her cheek and he frowned. “Let’s get you sorted out, follow me”

Ivy swallowed, taking his hand as he dropped her bag by the sofa, leading her towards the bathroom. She felt the safest she had in _weeks_ , but that didn’t change the fact that her face was throbbing like a _bitch_.

“Alright, you feeling woozy or anything? Lightheaded?” He asked her, holding her waist as he helped her jump up onto the side by the sink. Ivy watched him carefully as he opened a cabinet, bringing down some sort of first aid kit and placing it next to her.

“A little” She mumbled, wincing when Calum turned his phone flashlight on and shone it in her eyes. “That’s really bright, can you not?”

“It’s supposed to be bright” He reminded her, smiling slightly as she groaned. “Look up for me for a second”

She did as he said, letting Calum gently hold her chin with his fingers as he asked her to look in different directions, his brow furrowed in concentration.

“You have a minor concussion, I think it’s coming across worse than it actually is because you’re tired and stressed too but it’s a good job I’m here to keep an eye on you anyway” He explained, winking as she rolled her eyes. “How’d this happen?” He asked, pointing to her lip.

“When he pushed me, I tripped and smacked my face against the wall” She mumbled, Calum drawing in a sharp breath as he winced, slipping on a pair of latex gloves from the kit.

“Okay, I don’t want to aggravate it anymore so I’m just gonna clean it, doesn’t look like you need stitches anyway” He explained, moving to stand in-between her legs, their faces now inches from each other. “Open your mouth a little for me”

Ivy parted her lips, flinching when he gently pulled the lower one down, examining how deep the cut was as he shushed her.

“Yeah, just about avoided stitches” he sighed, leaning back to grab a bottle of something and a q-tip. “Hold my hand”

“Why?” She asked wearily, taking it after she watched him pour a tiny bit of the liquid onto the q-tip. He looked at her apologetically and Ivy shrunk back slightly.

“Because this is gonna sting” He said, not giving her a chance to react as he carefully pulled her lip back down and started dabbing at the cut. Ivy gasped, her hand flying up from his hand to grab his bicep, her feet kicking against the cabinet door as she whined, eyes watering.

“I know, I know, almost there” He soothed her, quickly cleaning the small cut on her eyebrow too before sticking one of those tiny, thin, white plasters across the cut on her lip. “All done, you were so brave” He teased lightly, brushing the few tears that had fallen with the pads of his thumbs before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I’m gonna get you some ice for your cheek”

“Thank you” She sniffed, resting her head on his shoulder as he threw his gloves and the stuff he’d used in the bin before hooking his arms under her legs and lifting her, carrying her into his bedroom and setting her on the bed.

“Wait here” He instructed, leaving her sat on the edge of the bed as he wandered back into the kitchen. Ivy moved until her back was resting against the headboard, stretching her legs out and observing the room around her.

She noticed her copy of ‘The Great Gatsby’ on his bedside table and she smiled, her heart warming when she noticed little sticky notes poking out from certain pages. Beside it was what looked like a journal, along with a carton of cigarettes and a framed photo of Calum and a girl Ivy could only assume was his sister, the resemblance of the two uncanny. Around the rest of the room was a small desk, same navy scrubs from her first morning here slung over the back of the chair, and Ivy could picture Calum all too well hunched over that little desk working away on files and such until early hours of the morning. She spotted another framed photo of him and his family hanging just above the surface of the desk, a small collection of books stacked beneath it. The only other items of furniture in the spacious room were a large industrial rail with an array of clothes and shoes adorning it, a beaten-up chest of drawers with a chunky-looking speaker resting on the top besides bottles of cologne, and a full-length mirror propped against the wall by the door. Other than that, the room was almost bare, giving it a real ‘authentic NYC apartment’ feel, accentuated by the large windows on the right-hand side, exposing a stunning view of the City. There were the odd posters on the exposed brick walls here and there, in mint condition and framed unlike Ivy’s patchwork of messily blue-tacked art on her own bedroom walls.

It felt like home.

Ivy let out a content sigh, pulling the huge knit throw from the end of the bed up to around her waist just as Calum came back in.

“Glad to see you made yourself comfortable” He grinned, setting a glass of water on the floor by her side of the bed along with her bag, handing her an ice pack at the same time. “This should help with the swelling a bit”

“Thank you” She murmured, wincing as she lightly pressed the ice to her cheek but almost instantly savouring the relief it brought her. “Your room’s cool”

“It is? I always thought it was glaringly obvious that I never cared much about interior design” He muttered, frowning at the room around them as if he was seeing it for the first time.

“No, I like it” She giggled quietly. “It’s very you”

“Oh, well I’ll take that as a compliment then” He beamed, kicking his shoes off as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed. “I feel like this is kind of a stupid question, but do you want me to stay in here with you tonight? I’m more than happy to crash on the sofa if you need space-”

“I want you to stay” She interrupted him; the thought of having to sleep alone tonight was almost too much to bear. “Please”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure” He reassured her, bringing his hand up against hers holding the ice pack as he gently guided it upwards, noticing it had slipped. “You want to try getting some sleep?”

She nodded, pushing herself off the bed and grabbing her bag as she headed towards the bathroom. She changed quickly, slipping on a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized tee, shuddering as she noticed a large bruise on her leg from where she’d fallen earlier. She quickly brushed her teeth, knowing that Calum would know if she hadn’t, but just as she went to leave the bathroom she paused, catching her reflection in the mirror.

Her lip was swollen, the area around her eyebrow purple, along with her right cheekbone.

He was all over her.

Ivy swallowed, repressing a shudder as she quickly left the bathroom, pushing the thought from her mind. She padded back to the bedroom, Calum already under the covers, on his phone. He looked up when he saw her, putting his phone on the bedside table and throwing the covers back, letting her climb in beside him. Duke was asleep at the end of the bed, snoring softly and Ivy smiled as she laid down beside Calum, grinning as they faced each other.

“Hi” He whispered, and Ivy laughed. “You okay?” He asked, softly this time.

Ivy bit her lip without thinking, yelping when her cut barked in process causing Calum to snort, his hand resting on her side.

“I will be” She said quietly, knowing Calum didn’t expect any more of an answer than that.

“It’s one day at a time” He reminded her, moving a stray curl off of her face. “All that matters right now is that you’re safe”

“I know” She sighed, feeling her skin tingle when she looked up, only to see him gazing intently at her, his eyes full of a tenderness so raw she almost drowned in it. “And I promise I’m not leaving anytime soon. I’m done hurting you”

“Ivy, shhh, enough of that” He murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead when her eyes started to well. “What’s in the past is in the past”

Ivy nodded, not trusting her voice as she nestled her head against his chest, feeling his fingers move into her hair, stroking lightly.

“Try and get some sleep” She heard him whisper as he flicked the bedside lamp off, her eyes already drooping. “I’m right here”

And in that moment, with Calum’s hands caressing her skin, his heartbeat steady and comforting in her ears, Ivy knew she was finally free.


	24. twenty two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 600 hits!!<3

Ivy awoke to the sound of Calum’s voice.

“You’re a lifesaver Luke honestly…yeah it’s just for today, I can’t leave her here alone. I don’t think I had anything major scheduled anyway, Grace Ward was supposed to be getting a tooth out for braces but that can be moved to tomorrow…you can handle the rest, right? Perfect, thank you mate. Yeah, she’s okay, she’s sleeping right now so I think we’re just gonna take it slow today, see how she is. Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, I’ll keep you updated. Cheers, mate, see you”

Ivy heard the call end as Calum let out a breath. She couldn’t feel him in the bed next to her, instead sensing his footsteps moving across the creaking floorboards until she felt the mattress dip beside her. A hand gently brushed through her hair and she purred, cracking her eyes open to see Calum sat on the edge of the bed in grey sweats and a black tee, looking down at her softly. He jumped slightly when he noticed she was awake, moving his hand away.

“Shit, sorry did I wake you up?”

“No, it’s okay” She yawned, stretching like a cat as she groaned, her body feeling about a hundred years old. “What time is it?” She pondered, noticing the bright sun spilling through the slatted blinds as Calum moved onto the bed fully, leaning back against the headboard and tilting slightly towards her.

“Almost twelve, I wanted to let you rest” Calum replied, smiling when Ivy gaped, shocked at how she’d managed to sleep for that long. “How are you feeling?” He asked a little quieter, his eyes shifting to her cheek as he winced. “That’s a nasty bruise”

“Feels like it” Ivy grumbled back as she rubbed it lightly, feeling the deep ache stretch across her face. “And to answer your question…I don’t really know. Physically, I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. Emotionally isn’t far off that either”

Calum nodded, both of them knowing there wasn’t much he could do to help with either of those, only to just be there for her. He exhaled through his nose, still studying her quietly, worry etched all over his face. Ivy both loved and hated that he cared so much, having never been given this kind of attention before, not knowing how to respond to it and despising that her own feeling bad was making him feel bad. She shook off the guilt, knowing Calum would be able to read her thoughts easily as she yawned again, shaking her head lightly.

“Was that Luke on the phone?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, taking today off to look after you so I was just rescheduling some of my patients with him. He sends his love”

Ivy’s heart panged. “You didn’t have to call in to work. I’m okay” She heard her own voice wobble at the end, blushing when Calum just gave her a knowing look.

“I know I didn’t have to, I wanted to though” He responded simply. Ivy sat back a little, noticing his arms crossed over his chest, the way he was sat on the edge of the mattress. It dawned on her that he was giving her space, unsure of what to do. She respected him for it, but it wasn’t what she wanted. She scooted into the middle of the bed, bringing the covers back over her as she held her arms out to him, causing him to raise a brow.

“You can touch me, Calum. I’m not made of glass” She reassured him, rolling her eyes when he still didn’t move. “I want hugs”

His face softened completely at that, not saying a word as he got under the covers with her, carefully wrapping his arms around her tiny frame, pulling her into his chest.

“I was just making sure” He mumbled into her hair, Ivy’s heart swelling at how attentive he was. “But if this is okay with you, it’s very much okay with me”

“This is okay” She reassured him, moving a hand underneath his shirt, gliding her fingers along his skin as she felt him draw in a breath. “For the past two years I’ve been given next to no physical attention, at least not attention that I wanted. I’ve got a lot of making up to do”

She heard Calum mumble an agreeance, the pair drifting into a comfortable silence, fingers grazing across each other’s skin.

Ivy was happy with where her and Calum were. In any other case it might be considered complicated, but for them it made perfect sense. They weren’t the type of people who needed to sit down and lay everything on the table, making sure they were both on the same page. They just knew. Ivy needed to heal, and she didn’t want to do that alone; Calum was more than happy to help her do so. No need for ‘what are we?’s and ‘where is this going?’s. Ivy could tell from the way Calum’s lips were resting against her forehead that he was in the exact same headspace about their relationship as she was.

An unspoken thing of beauty, that was only just beginning to flourish.

They stayed like that for a while, almost drifting off to sleep again until Duke barked from the other room, causing Ivy to jump slightly, her head hitting Calum’s chin.

“It’s only Duke” He murmured, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, one arm still cradling her. “We should really get up”

“Agreed” Ivy yawned. She was a fan of staying in bed for ungodly amounts of time, but today felt different. She didn’t particularly want to leave the house, but she definitely wanted to get up, even if it was only to move to the sofa. She was in the mood for fresh starts.

Calum’s arm was still around her waist, and she stiffened when he went to move, his fingers brushing across her ribcage that she knew was all too visible. She felt him pause too, only for a second, before he sat up, looking down at her cautiously.

“You want me to make you something to eat?” He asked quietly, his hand resting beside hers on the mattress, a finger brushing over her knuckles.

She nodded, almost feeling guilty. “I know it’s bad” Ivy’s voice barely reached a whisper as she swallowed, blinking back tears. “I swear I don’t have a problem, not really, it’s just the last few months with Dylan have been stressful, and scary, so I haven’t been taking care of myself like I should, and Dylan would always make comments so lately I’ve just found it kind of-”

“Hard” Calum finished for her, reaching forward to brush away a tear that had fallen. “I know”

“Yeah” Ivy sniffed, hating that she was this emotional and she’d only been awake for approximately twenty minutes. “Really hard”

“Listen to me” Calum started, taking her hands in his as he looked straight at her. “I am so, so proud of you. Some days are going to be harder than others, some days you’re going to feel on top of the world and the next you might not be able to get out of bed. I’m speaking from experience, breakups like this take a toll on you, physically and mentally, and I’m in no way expecting you to be able to handle ‘normal life’ every single day, and that includes stuff like eating. You’re going to be okay, I promise, but it’s normal to not be okay for a little while, and I’m going to be here every single step of the way, alright? We’re in this together” He finished with a small smile, dipping his head down to kiss her shoulder as she let out a quiet laugh, wiping her tears. No one had ever reassured her so easily like that, had never told her they were proud of her. It was nice.

“Is this what recovery feels like? Lots of crying and people saying soppy motivational things to you?” Ivy laughed out, her tears slowly turning happy as Calum smiled against her skin, kissing up her neck lightly until his lips were against her forehead.

“It’s exactly that. But it gets better, trust me” He smiled, wiping the final tears off her face as he stood from the bed, holding a hand out to her. “C’mon. You need to eat”

Ivy nodded firmly in agreeance, taking his hand as they padded into the kitchen, Calum grabbing a hoodie slung over the vanity and handing it to her. Ivy thanked him, throwing it on and feeling her shoulders loosen as the soft fabric engulfed her in Calum’s cologne, a tingle going down her spine.

“Sit” He instructed her, pointing to a bar stool as he moved to the other side of the kitchen island, stopping in front of the stove. “Anything you want. I’m a professional chef”

“I guess we’re about to find out” She teased, giggling at his hurt expression as she scrunched her face up, thinking. “Can you make omelettes?”

“Can I make omelettes” Calum scoffed, rolling his eyes as he turned to the cupboards, placing various ingredients on the side along with a frying pan. “I forgot to go to the store last night so I don’t have all that many toppings, is cheese and mushroom okay?”

“Cheese and mushroom is perfect, actually” Ivy smiled, her stomach rumbling as Calum started cooking, letting herself watch him as he did everything effortlessly. Duke jumped up into her lap, giving her arm a little lick as she ran her fingers through his fur. Calum had switched the radio on, a fuzzy jazz song lilting through the speaker on the side as golden sunlight streamed from the floor to ceiling windows behind them, illustrating heights of the bustling City just outside. Ivy felt her whole-body relaxing, the aches lessening ever so slightly as she let out a content sigh.

“I could get used to this” She murmured, Calum looking up from the pan in front of him as he smiled, joining her in looking around the peaceful flat.

“Days like this are my favourite” He responded, finishing the omelettes and handing her one on a plate. “Voila”

Ivy’s mouth watered as she looked down at it, not hesitating for a second as she began eating, Calum laughing at her and blushing when she moaned loudly.

“Fucking Hell Calum this is incredible” She said, savouring every bite like it was the first. “How’d you learn to cook like this?”

“It’s a hobby of sorts” He said shyly, eating his own. “It’s a good job we didn’t meet two years ago, we’d be eating burnt toast right now”

Ivy laughed, almost choking as the pair lapsed into silence again, letting the tinny sounds of the radio fill the apartment. About halfway through her omelette Ivy began to feel nauseous, knowing it was because she hadn’t eaten anything this rich in nutrients in weeks. She took a sip of water, pushing her plate away slightly as Calum finished, looking up at her.

“You feel okay?” He asked, and Ivy knew that he knew.

“Mmhmm” She squeaked, forcing the bile she could feel rising back down as she took another sip of water. “Just very full”

“That’s okay don’t force yourself. Baby steps, remember?” He reminded her gently as she nodded, leaning her head into his hand as he stroked her hair. Hopping off the stool, she helped him clear up, before they wandered out onto the small balcony, Calum bringing a blanket from the sofa out too as they sat on the outdoor floor cushions, Calum draping the blanket over both their shoulders.

“I’m jealous of your view” Ivy mumbled, her heart racing as she took in the City around them. “I could honestly just sit out here all day, watching the world go by”

“Then lets” Calum said simply, and she turned to him, a smile creeping along her face. “There’s nothing else I’d want to do more”

Ivy said nothing, only smiling wider as she rested her head on Calum’s shoulder, a sense of utter contentment washing over her as she felt Calum’s hand rest on her thigh, the pair watching the City below them flurry past, a million lives intertwining without even trying.


	25. twenty three

_One week later_

“You’re doing it wrong!”

“I’m doing it exactly how you told me to do it Calum, I’m giving up”

“No chance, as long as you’re living under my roof, you’re doing it. Do you _want_ gum disease by the time you’re thirty?”

“You’re being dramatic”

“I am not, let me do it”

“No, you’re just gonna-OI!”

The pair collapsed into fits of giggles as they stumbled around the bathroom, the tiled floor littered in strings of floss. Ivy squirmed as Calum wrapped his arms around her waist, hauling her back in front of the mirror and holding her there.

“Please” He whined, standing behind her as he leant down, resting his chin on her shoulder and giving her puppy eyes through the mirror. “I’ll be gentle”

Ivy rolled her eyes, shivering as butterflies tickled her stomach. After just a week of living together, Calum had figured out exactly how to get his own way with her. All he had to do was look at her with those big, doleful eyes, and she was like putty in his hands. Of course, he never did it with malicious intent. It was only when he was trying to get her to eat, or to let him examine the bruise on her cheek, or when he tried to get her up and out of bed before he left the flat for work. On the other hand, though, he could kill someone, and as long as he looked at her like that, Ivy would find herself helping him bury the body.

“Fine” She gave in, handing him the floss she had hidden up her sweater sleeve. “If you hurt me, you’re getting a smack”

“That seems fair” He agreed, snapping the end of the floss once it was long enough and shuffling them closer to the mirror. “Open”

She did as he said, wincing as he gently guided the floss in-between her teeth. Ivy shot him daggers through the mirror, but he ignored her, smiling innocently as he started moving it back and forth.

“Easy, see?” He teased, quickly working the floss along both rows as Ivy huffed. To be fair to him, he _was_ being very gentle, Ivy surprised at how she almost couldn’t feel it and her gums _weren’t_ bleeding, contrary to all the horror stories she’d been fed in the past. “And you thought I was going to hurt you”

“At this point I don’t even think you’re capable of it” She sighed in reluctant agreeance when he finally took the floss away, chucking it in the bin next to them as he rested his head back onto her shoulder again, arms wrapping around her middle. Ivy looked at the image of them in the mirror, saw her head leaning against Calum’s, auburn curls intertwining with blonde ones, how his fingers splayed across her stomach, gold on porcelain. Sighing contently, she reached her hand up, running her fingers through his hair as he purred against her neck.

“I wouldn’t dream of it” He murmured into her skin, pressing a light kiss to a freckle on the edge of her collarbone that he’d apparently only just noticed. “C’mon. Sofa is calling”

Ivy nodded eagerly, taking his hand as he spun her round and led her back out to the open living room, the only light reaching it by the dimly lit lampshades in opposite corners and the glittering lights from buildings opposite. The time was moving along to 10pm, Ivy’s favourite time of night. It was like a peaceful bridge-point between the business of early evening and the black silence of late night.

Ivy hummed as she sank down onto the sofa beside Calum, curling into his side on instinct, his arm automatically moving around her and settling on her waist as he begun flicking through the channels in search of old ‘The Office’ re-runs.

It had been exactly a week since Ivy had moved in with Calum, and she was doing considerably better than she’d expected. The first few nights had been rough, Ivy consumed by her guilt and heartbreak almost constantly, having been left alone all day with nothing to do whilst Calum was at work. Her boss had given her as much time off as she’d needed, but after three days she was already going insane so she just decided to go back. It definitely lifted her spirits, giving her mind something to occupy itself with other than self-loathing and the constant anxiety that Dylan was going to appear standing above her in the middle of the night. As for Calum? He couldn’t have been anymore perfect. Ivy was showered in constant praise, reassurance, an abundance of care and attention that made up for the lack of both from the past two years. He’d kiss her on the forehead every morning before he left for work, whether she was awake or not. He would come home from work just after her and do the exact same thing. He knew when to keep his distance and when to hold her tight against his chest. He let her fall asleep in his arms every single night, whispering into her hair that she was safe, that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. He didn’t question her about where they were, about why they hadn’t even kissed since she’d moved in, knowing that when she was ready, she’d come to him. He didn’t complain when she woke up screaming in the night, hitting him and pushing him away because she thought he was Dylan. He didn’t expect a single thing from her, only stayed by her side patiently as every day, she got a little better. She had never, in her entire life, been loved like this before.

He was full of quiet, subtle intimacies, and Ivy found herself falling a little bit in love with him.

This thought struck her, not for the first time, as an episode began playing on the TV, Calum’s fingers drawing patterns against the skin of her leg just below the cycling shorts she was wearing. She had realised she might love him for the first time two days ago, when she’d walked into the kitchen after he’d left for work and found an adorable little message on a sticky note by the kettle. The thought had rocked through her so suddenly she’d almost fallen, her mind imploding more so at the concept that he might love her back. Ever since, she hadn’t been able to get the thought out of her head, not necessarily in a bad way, letting it simmer as she came to the realisation that maybe she did love him. She smiled slightly at the thought now, glancing up to look at Calum, who was looking at the TV. He sensed her stare, turning his head to look down at her, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Hi” He said quietly, his dark eyes roaming her face as she bit her lip lightly, the cut from last week practically healed. “You okay?”

Ivy only nodded, continuing to look at him as she leant into the feeling of his hands against her skin, the soft cotton of his hoodie against her cheek, the way his curls always seemed to look so effortlessly tousled, the reflection of the lampshade almost setting the blonde aglow. She looked at him and felt nothing but adoration, nothing but comfort.

Slowly, she leant forward, and Calum instantly caught on, his breath catching momentarily. Ivy felt her heart beating fast as their noses nudged each other, lips brushing lightly as their breaths mingled, the air around them electric as Ivy glanced from his lips to his eyes, catching him looking straight at her intently, a thousand words passing between them. Ivy breathed a little harder as their lips touched again, and almost melted when he kissed her, so incredibly lightly, her lips curving into a smile as she sighed, slowly kissing him back. They moved in sync with each other, slow and gentle, pressing light kisses over and over, savouring the moment. Growing in confidence as her nerves settled, Ivy shifted, carefully moving a leg over Calum until she was sat in his lap, hands moving up into his hair as his own settled on her waist, a breathy moan escaping his lips as Ivy kissed him a little harder, her tongue swiping across his lower lip. Soon enough their tongues were tangled, neither of them bothering to hide their moans as Calum sunk lower into the sofa, letting Ivy take control for a moment as she kissed him deeper, hands tightening in his hair as she moved her hips up and down against his thigh ever so slightly, eliciting the prettiest sounds from Calum as his fingernails dug into her legs.

Just as she was getting into a rhythm, she felt the air around her shift, letting out a little squeal as Calum gently flipped them so she was now lying flat against the sofa, himself poised above her as he smiled wickedly, dipping his head down to her neck and attaching his lips to that sweet spot he’d missed so dearly. Ivy groaned, her back arching as her skin tingled against his touch, angling her neck to allow him more access, moaning as he sucked just below her jaw before kissing his way back up to her lips.

“Is this okay?” He asked, stopping for a moment as he looked at her, fingers playing with the ends of her hair.

“More than okay” She whispered, leaning up to catch his lips again as he smiled against her, carrying on. They stayed like that for a while, content just to _kiss_ , to explore each other in such a tender and relaxed way that they’d never had the other times.

Ivy wound her hands back up into his hair, tugging lightly until all of a sudden, she began to shake.

_Oh no._

Calum had moved his hand underneath her top, playing with the hem of her bralette as they were kissing, his thumbs grazing her skin just past the fabric. She didn’t know why, but all of a sudden, she had completely frozen, Calum not noticing until a few seconds later when he realised that she was no longer kissing him back. He pulled away slightly, studying her face for a second until he sighed, climbing off her and perching on the other end of the sofa as he observed, waiting for her to pull herself upright and take a breath until he spoke.

“Space or hug?” He asked calmly, not an ounce of annoyance in his eyes as Ivy felt tears burning her own, slowly looking up to meet his worried stare.

“Hug” She trembled, feeling the first tear fall as Calum scooted back over to her without hesitation, wrapping his arms around her tightly and bringing her into his lap as they leaned back against the sofa.

“It’s okay, it’s okay” He shushed her, running a hand through her hair as she cried into his shoulder quietly, her body shaking uncontrollably but she didn’t know why, only making her cry more.

She felt Calum tighten his arms around her in an attempt to stop the shaking, succeeding a little as Ivy felt her body relax slightly, her shoulders dropping an inch.

“That’s it, just relax” He soothed, his lips resting against her forehead as Ivy wiggled a hand up in between them to wipe her tears away. They stayed like that for a while, Calum encouraging her to follow his breathing as the shaking and the tears eventually stopped altogether, the odd sniff escaping in the otherwise quiet apartment. Ivy lifted her head up from Calum’s chest, taking a deep breath as she looked at him, smiling grimly.

“I’m sorry”

“You absolutely do not need to apologise” He said firmly, squeezing her arms for emphasis as he let her move off his lap to the sofa beside him. “What happened, hey?” He asked quietly, taking her hand in his own, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles lightly as he let her gather her thoughts.

“I…I don’t even know” She sighed, hitting her head against the back of the sofa in frustration. “It wasn’t anything you did, at all, just all of a sudden I took a breath, and it wasn’t you touching me, even though I could see you right in front of me. It was him. And I don’t know why. It happened the times before as well, at your office and the morning after. I mean, am I ever not gonna see his face? Am I broken?”

“Okay, okay” Calum shushed her again, seeing the tears start to creep back into her eyes. “It sounds like some sort of trauma response” He said carefully, and Ivy nodded, remembering Leila saying the same thing. “I can promise you that it’s not as uncommon as you think, this kind of thing is normal for someone coming out of such a damaging relationship. I’m not saying it’s going to go away overnight, but eventually it will. If love can fade, so can pain right? Months from now you’re going to be a completely different person, for the better, and your mind will be healed, and healthy, and happy. And if it’s not, well maybe then would be a good time to go see a Doctor, but I don’t want you to worry because it’s not going to come to that, okay? I’m right here, for the long haul, and you are more than capable of overcoming this. You are so, so strong Ivy, even when you don’t realise it” He finished, his eyes not breaking away from hers once, his hand not letting go of her own.

Ivy nodded again, laughing quietly as she realised more tears had fallen whilst he’d been speaking. She let him lean forward to brush them away, a calmness washing back over her when he pressed a light kiss to the exact spot on her cheek where a tear had been seconds before.

“I’m so proud of you” He whispered, their noses touching, not an inch of space between them. “So _fucking_ proud”

Ivy said nothing, only squeezed his hand tight, a million ‘thank you’s’ caught in that one gesture. He pressed another kiss to the tip of her nose, their foreheads pressed together as they laid back down against the sofa, Ivy feeling safer than ever before when Calum’s arms guided her to lay on his chest, his arms wrapping around her, his heartbeat a gentle melody in her ears.


	26. twenty four

“So, it sounds like it’s going well, then” Ashton said, grinning at Ivy from his desk as she beamed.

“Really well” She agreed, sipping from her coffee as she looked out the floor to ceiling window beside her workstation, admiring the City below her shrouded in frost, millions of numb feet treading marks into the concrete. If she concentrated hard enough, she could picture Calum, twenty minutes away in his own office, tending to what could be his tenth patient of the morning already, or perhaps looking out the window same as her, daydreaming about what she was doing right now as well. Letting out a content sigh at this thought, she tore her eyes away from the window, not caring how obviously gushy she was being. “He’s _literally_ all I think about”

“Ugh” Ashton groaned, shivering in disgust as she rolled her eyes at him, turning back to her laptop and the article she was only halfway through writing. “I think I preferred you when you were miserable”

Ivy gave him a look, causing Ashton to wince and guiltily mumble an apology as a smile tugged at her lips again, the pair going quiet as they focussed on their work. They stayed like that for a while; sat in comfortable silence, the only sounds their fingers tapping away on the keyboards and the distant cacophony of the rest of the busy office just a few strides away from their little corner. Ivy loved her job, loved its duality, how one day it would be slow, practically nothing to do other than sit around and online shop. Other days it was non-stop, a whirlwind of heightened voices and flurries of half-finished articles and faxes. And then there were the days like these; the rest of the office in uproar, everyone yelling and making themselves sick over deadlines that had no chance of being met whilst Ashton and Ivy hid away in their little back-corner, sipping on iced coffees and peacefully getting along with their own projects, taking the occasional break to chat and eat Dunkin’ whilst they gazed down at their City, people watching from hundreds of feet up in the air.

Ashton was the perfect work partner, not only because he was Ivy’s best friend. He knew when to leave her free of distractions and he knew when to make her day full of them.

“What do you think of that last paragraph” Ashton mused as he printed his article, handing it to Ivy over the low wall of potted plants between their desks. Ivy took it from him, eyebrows furrowed as she scanned it over, marvelling at how Ashton managed to make an article on ‘The Decline of CD Production’ so riveting.

“I think it’s good, maybe just trim it down a tiny bit and you should be good to go” She offered, handing it back to him as he nodded, the pair drifting into silence again.

Ivy finished her article before lunch, and, with nothing much else to do until later this afternoon, decided to message Calum instead. Maybe she could even take a long lunch to go visit him.

_I: Hey you. How’s your day going??x_

_C: BUSY. So fuckin busy. Cavity City over here AND I’m supposed to be training the new dental students from NY Medical this afternoon_ :( _how about you? x_

_I: Poor thing! I’ve just finished my article for this morning, so I was gonna ask if you wanted to get lunch together but by the sounds of it that’s gonna be a no :(_

_C: Yeah, sorry darling not gonna happen today I don’t think. I’ll make up for it later x_

_C: Gotta go, next patients here. Love you!!x_

Ivy felt herself grinning from ear to ear as she stared at her screen, the last two words he sent imprinting themselves in her brain. She knew he hadn’t meant it in that first dramatic ‘I love you’ way; Calum was far too romantic to say that for the first time over _text_. But still, she couldn’t ignore the butterflies she’d gotten.

Ivy was snapped out of her love-induced trance when Ashton groaned from opposite her, screwing up another sheet of paper.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, turning towards him as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Just got an email from the boss. She wants me to write an article on a _completely_ different topic, as well as finish this one, and have them both ready to send to the editor by five pm” Ivy swallowed, disliking the fact that the craziness of the office seemed to be seeping it’s way over to them when she’d already envisioned an afternoon of easy emails and a few chapters of the book she was reading. “She’s got to be out of her fucking mind”

“Okay, calm down” Ivy reasoned, swivelling her chair over to his side and reading the email he was referring to. He was right, she was expecting a _lot,_ an article on ‘Crystal & Spirituality Culture and How it Plagiarizes Certain Religions’ almost impossible for Ashton to have ready for the end of the day, on top of everything else he had to do. “I already know a fair bit about this, so I’ll take it, leave it with me, you just focus on everything else you need to do, okay?” Ivy suggested, smiling as Ashton nodded tiredly, mumbling a thank you to her as she squeezed his shoulder and returned to her side of the desk.

And that was how Ivy and Ashton ended up staying in the office way past 5pm; it was like all of the stress of the rest of the office had decided to crash into their workspace, piles upon piles of tasks that were screaming to be completed, the sun getting lower and lower in the sky as one by one their colleagues began their weary journeys home, leaving Ashton and Ivy drowning in paperwork. It got to 8pm and Ivy finally snapped, slamming her hand down on her desk.

“This is bullshit. We’re both going home, now”

“But we haven’t finished-”

“I don’t care, Ashton! She can’t expect this much of us and then leave way before either of us are anywhere near finished! We’ll do the rest in the morning, for now, I’m getting the fuck out of here” Ivy finished with a huff, packing her things away as she saw Ashton’s shoulders slump before he began to do the same.

“If we get into trouble for this-”

“I will fully take the blame” Ivy reassured him, glancing at her phone for the first time since lunch and noticing a string of texts from Calum, who had been home almost an hour and was only mildly concerned about where she was.

 _I: Sorry, only just seen these!! Works been mad, on my way home now x_

Mumbling a quick goodbye to Ashton once they were out of the building, Ivy trudged onto her train and began the short commute back to Calum’s flat. She had done it enough times by now that she didn’t actually need to think about where she was going, contrary to the first week or so. She had unthinkingly taken subway trains all the way back to her flat after work several times, which led to her ringing Calum in tears every night to come pick her up.

Fortunately, Calum didn’t seem to mind.

For the most part of the journey, Ivy let herself shut her eyes, resting whilst swaying in the corner of the subway as the train sped through the underground. The craziness of her day was finally catching up to her, unable to stop herself from yawning every couple seconds. She wearily shuffled out of the station and along the street to Calum’s place, dragging herself up the stairs and all the way to his floor, groaning as she did so. However, her tiredness almost completely evaporated when she unlocked his front door (he had given her a key the day after her and Dylan broke up) to see him with his back to her, working away in the kitchen on something that smelled _incredible._

As usual, he had the radio on, singing along softly as he didn’t notice Ivy had come home. Ivy leant against the doorway, smiling as Calum, oblivious, did the most _adorable_ little dance in time to the music, chucking his scrubs in the washing machine as he did. Sensing an opportunity, Ivy crept up behind him, wrapping her arms his waist from behind as she whispered “Guess who” into the skin on his neck.

The reaction she got was far from what she had expected.

Calum let out a yell, jumping out of her hold as he spun around and pushed her away slightly, his eyes wide in panic. Stumbling, Ivy steadied herself by grabbing onto the countertop, shocked as Calum looked at her almost as if he didn’t know her.

“Calum, Cal, hey, it’s me, it’s Ivy! What’s wrong what happened?” Ivy rushed out, putting her arms up as realisation dawned on Calum’s face and he moaned, burying his head in his hands.

“God, sorry, I’m so sorry, I thought-” He was almost breathless, his eyes still wide with what could only be terror. “I thought you were someone else. I thought you were Bella”

Ivy frowned, confused. Calum had mentioned Bella very briefly a few times during their late-night therapy sessions. He wasn’t open about it much at all, but from what Ivy could glean, it sounded like a very similar situation to what she’d been through with Dylan.

“Bella? Why would you think I was Bella?” Ivy asked quietly, suddenly very afraid that he saw her in such a similar way.

“She…she used to do that. A lot. Come up behind me and grab my waist, I mean. I used to love it, but near the end of our relationship she’d do it only to spin me around and yell at me, or…or worse” He swallowed, and Ivy didn’t need him to finish the sentence to know what he meant. She’d experienced that all too well herself.

Deep in her chest, she felt a raging, protective creature open an eye, her hands balling into fists as she thought of what she’d do if she ever ran into this Bella in the street.

But that wasn’t where her attention needed to be right now.

“Okay, you’re okay” She soothed, walking over to him slowly, her heart aching when she noticed him trembling. “Can I touch you?”

He nodded, his shoulders visibly dropping when Ivy placed a hand on his arm, rubbing up and down lightly.

“Let’s go to the sofa, follow me” She murmured, taking his hand as she sat down on the couch, tugging him down with her. Biting his lip, he did the same, his shoulders still tense, avoiding her eyes.

“Calum” She said gently, taking his hand and putting it in her lap when she saw his bottom lip quiver minutely. “Calum look at me”

Slowly, his eyes met hers, and Ivy almost broke down when she saw the pain in them. As long as they’d known each other, Calum had always been the one looking after her - she had always been the mess.

She felt guilty for not looking out for him as much.

“I’m sorry” He mumbled, letting out a short laugh when a tear spilled down his cheek, wiping it quickly as he sniffed. “I’ve just had a really long day, and she just really fucked with me and on days like this it just gets harder to handle”

“You have nothing to be sorry for” Ivy shushed him, brushing her thumb across his cheek when more tears fell. “Okay? This is normal, you’ve told me that yourself enough times. It’s all about establishing boundaries, right? I know now that that’s something I can’t do, and we know that there are things that freak me out as well. You’re healing Calum, we both are, it’s just one day at a time. Don’t ever apologise for things you can’t control” She finished, cupping his face in her hands as she leant forward and pressed the softest of kisses to his lips. He kissed her back, smiling slightly as he did until he pulled away and rested his head on her shoulder, Ivy’s fingers automatically moving into his hair.

“God you’re amazing” He mumbled in-between sniffs, his voice slightly croaky. “Thank you”

“You don’t need to thank me” She replied quietly, guiding his head down into her lap as she carried on playing with his curls, eliciting content purrs from his throat. “What happened at work?”

“Ugh, just the usual really but it got to me more today, I think I woke up on the wrong side of bed or something” Ivy remembered he had a slight scowl on his face this morning, but she hadn’t questioned it, letting him carry on. “It was just busy. I had patients back-to-back all morning and then I had to trek halfway across the City this afternoon to do a cleaning practical with those students I mentioned, which was a _complete_ waste of time because they hadn’t been taught properly so I ended up having to use one of them as a patient and walked the rest of them through it – like I didn’t mind that much but I’m not their professor you know? They should’ve been taught that way before I showed up, I thought I was only going to give advice and answer questions and whatnot” He let out a breath, clearly feeling better already, but Ivy let him carry on, sensing there was something else. “And then in the morning there was this one patient…she had come from an orphanage with her care worker, was only about six years old. _Terrified_ out of her mind, I don’t think she’d actually ever stepped foot into a dentist’s office before. Her worker said she’d only recently come under her care, had been taken from an abusive household apparently. She was clearly in pain, half her face was swollen but she wouldn’t let me come anywhere near her with a mirror, just had silent tears falling down her face the whole time. I ended up sitting on the chair with her on my lap for about ten minutes and managed to get her to trust me enough to give her some laughing gas just so I could at least do an exam and…” He paused, rubbing his face. “I had to take five teeth out. I obviously put her to sleep but the poor thing I mean, how can someone let their child be in that much pain? She was so quiet, and so brave, but every time I would lift my hand she would flinch, sometimes so hard she would almost fall off the chair. Like, I’m glad that I was able to help, even if it was only a little, but patients like that just get to me. Life is so unfair sometimes” He finished, and Ivy brushed his tears away again, not realising some of her own had spilled as she leant down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You might be the most compassionate, caring, gentle man I’ve ever met” She said quietly as Calum looked up at her, smiling slightly. “You helped that girl more than you know; you were patient with her, you got her to trust you, probably more than she’s ever trusted anyone. You didn’t hurt her, and you gave her the care and help that she needed, all with a smile on your face. You’re a better person than you realise, Calum, I promise” She finished softly, moving back slightly as he sat up, loosing a breath.

“Thank you” He whispered, looking at her with a tenderness in his eyes, nothing else needing to be said. They looked at each other for a second more, before Ivy took his hand, pulling him back up again.

“Go run a bath – bubbles, salts, candles, the whole lot. You deserve it” She felt Calum smile against her neck as he sighed, resting his head against her shoulder, his hands tracing up and down her back. “I’m gonna order us takeout”

Calum nodded happily, kissing her shoulder before standing to his full height and stretching.

“You’re the best” He mumbled, pressing another kiss to her cheek before turning on his heel and slinking off to the bathroom, throwing his shirt off and tossing it in the laundry basket as he went, leaving Ivy stood in the middle of the apartment as she bit her lip, observing the way his muscles moved in his shoulders and back before he disappeared from sight. She let out a happy sigh, grabbing the box of menus Calum kept in the cupboard and flipping through them. She was glad she’d been able to see this side of him, a side he’d never shown before.

It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one with demons.

And it was even nicer to know that they had each other’s backs, no matter what.

**_Calum’s POV_ **

****

Letting out a sigh, Calum sunk into the water, letting the mountains of bubbles attach to themselves to his skin. He’d even asked Ivy if he could use one of her fancy face masks, which she’d happily agreed to, and he frowned now in confusion as he felt the thick substance starting to dry and tighten against his skin. Letting out a shrug, he let his eyes flutter shut for a moment, but they cracked back open when he saw a sticky note attached to the bathroom mirror, one that he’d been in too bad of a mood to notice this morning. Leaning forward, he squinted, realising it was in Ivy’s handwriting as he tried to decipher what it said.

_‘Hope you have a good day saving smiles! And even if you don’t, I want you to know that you’re very important to me, and the fact that I know you makes me smile the BIGGEST <3’_

Calum almost laughed at how cheesy it was, but he quickly felt his heart hammering, his skin prickling. The sensation was over just as quick as it had started, and he felt a calmness descend over him as he leant back into the water again.

With a small smile, Calum Hood came to the realisation that he was in love with Ivy Wick.


	27. twenty five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning but lots of fluff too so it balances out hehe, ngl I loved writing this chapter!

It was 6pm, Ivy would be home any minute, and Calum was, to say the least, _terrified_.

Tonight had to go well.

_It had to._

Because tonight was the night that Calum was going to tell Ivy that he loved her.

And he was really kind of hoping that she said it back.

It had been two weeks since that life-altering realisation he’d had in the bath. Two weeks of him second-guessing himself, acting jumpy and aloof around Ivy much to her suspicion. Two weeks of wondering how to tell her, or whether he should say anything at all. Two weeks spent sitting in his office between patients, brainstorming ideas in the back of his diary only to end up tearing page after page out and chucking them in the bin with a huff. He’d wanted to do something big and fancy, very much in line with both of their romantic tendencies – he’d almost asked for advice from one of his patients, a wedding planner, but after having given her a fairly painful new crown on one of her molars, he’d figured she wasn’t exactly in the mood to be doing him any favours, so he’d stayed quiet.

In the end, after a ton of help on Sierra’s part, Calum had settled on the idea of cooking the two of them dinner, as a surprise - out on the balcony, with candles, a bit of music, the whole sha-bang. He imagined the two of them out there, glasses of wine on the floor next to them and a huge blanket draped around their shoulders as they huddled next to each other on bean bags, enjoying the view. He pictured turning to look at her, seeing the gold reflection of the City lights glowing in her green eyes, her face an image of bliss. She would sense his stare, turn to look at him, and their lips would connect, sparks flying between them. He would pull away, look her in the eyes, and say the three words he’d been dying to say all week.

The three words he’d been dying to shout from the rooftops since the day he first laid eyes on her.

At least, Calum was _hoping_ that was how it was going to go.

Shaking his head, he turned to the full-length mirror in his bedroom for probably the fifteenth time that night, adjusting the collar of his shirt before running his hands through his hair, exhaling nervously. He had considered straightening it to be _extra_ fancy but then remembered how much Ivy went on about his curls, so he’d left them natural, dressing in a black button-down shirt which he’d tucked into a pair of grey-checked trousers, finished off with his black dress shoes and a slim silver chain around his neck. Satisfied, he strode into the kitchen and living room, pacing nervously and checking his watch every couple seconds. The dinner he’d made wouldn’t be ready until after she got in, but he wasn’t worried about that. What he _was_ worried about was the note with directions on for Ivy to go into their bedroom and change into the outfit he’d laid out on the bed that was stuck to the outside of the door. He doubted any of his neighbours would tear it down, but still. What if she hated this idea? Following the little clues he’d left, from the bedroom out to the balcony. What if she thought it was too much? What if she hated the dress he’d bought her? He’d seen it in a store window on his way home from work one night, his heart skipping a beat when his mind automatically envisioned Ivy in it. He’d bought it without hesitation, ignoring the punch he’d felt in his gut when he’d seen how much it was. She was going to love it, and he was going to love _seeing_ her in it. He’d even laid out heels and jewellery beside it on the bed that he thought would match.

Everything was going to be fine.

Calum heard a key turn in the lock on the door.

He let out a squeal, panicking as he bolted across the apartment and out onto the balcony, shutting the door and ducking behind the potted plants just in time as Ivy walked into the flat, hair looking windswept and the note from the door in her hand. Calum squinted a little, his heart hammering when he saw her stop and read the note over again and again, a smile slowly spreading across her face. She looked around the apartment, calling his name a few times before she screwed her eyes shut, doing a little dance on the spot that made Calum grin like the Goddamn Cheshire cat before she skipped into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Letting out a breath, Calum giggled to himself, doing his own little dance out on the balcony as he stood and stretched for a moment. She always looked so pretty when she came home from work – it wasn’t often that she got in later than he did, but when she did, he couldn’t help but admire the way her clothes would be slightly askew from the bustle of rush hour, her cheeks flushed pink as she balanced paperwork and chunky folders in her arms, along with a shopping bag or two. Calum would always smile as she unloaded everything from her arms onto the side with a dramatic sigh, before traipsing over to where he would be leaning against the doorway and collapsing into his arms with a huff, letting Calum smooth her wild hair down as he peppered her rosy face in kisses.

Calum had had to stop himself from going to her when she’d walked through the door tonight, eager to get the evening started. He listened carefully from the balcony, cracking the door open to see if he could tell whether she was almost ready or not, jumping out of his skin when the timer he’d left on the side for the oven started beeping loudly, indicating that their food was ready. Swearing, Calum tiptoed across the apartment to the kitchen, praying to whatever God’s could hear him that Ivy didn’t open the door. He carefully pulled the dish out, kicking the oven shut as he bounded back across the floor and out onto the balcony. He set the dish down in the middle of the small, clothed table he’d set up, adjusting the plates and cutlery to perfection when he noticed something.

He hadn’t brought out any wine.

Or glasses.

Rolling his eyes, Calum cracked the balcony door back open, biting his lip as he heard Ivy moving around near the bedroom door.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” he hissed as he crept through the apartment _again_ , carefully rummaging through the cupboards for two wine glasses and a bottle, letting out a silent cheer when he eventually found some.

Letting out a breath of relief, he rolled his shoulders, suddenly feeling a lot more confident as he strode back across the apartment, grinning to himself as he flipped the wine bottle in the air.

Apparently, Calum wasn’t as nimble with his fingers as he thought, watching in horrible slow motion as the bottle grazed past his fingertips and smashed at his feet, just as the bedroom door opened.

_Shit._

“Calum?” He heard Ivy’s voice ask, and Calum lifted his head, apologies beginning to pour from his mouth only for his jaw to drop when his eyes latched onto her.

He knew she was going to look good, but this was almost insulting.

The dress he’d picked out wasn’t far off of a skimpy nightgown, which was probably why he’d liked it so much. It was a deep red (“ _the colour of wine” he thought with a wince as he felt liquid pooling around his shoes)_ with a sweetheart neckline, slim spaghetti straps being the only thing hiding the rest of what he could already see curving deliciously from her chest. The dress was tight up until the top of her stomach, the rest of the material floating out slightly and sliding across her figure. Her hair was in a low bun, a few curly strands hanging around her face that was adorned in light makeup, a sharp slit of black eyeliner accentuating her eyes. She had worn the jewellery he’d picked out too; a thin gold chain necklace that matched his silver one and small but chunky gold hoop earrings, finished off with a pair of slim red heels.

Calum adored the duality of Ivy; one moment she was dressed in a way that made him want to wrap her in his arms on the sofa and kiss her all over, the next in a way that made him want to fall at her feet and let her have her way with him.

At this exact moment, however, he wanted the ground to bury him six feet deep.

“Calum” She said again, an amused smile playing on her lips as she took a step towards him, the dress shifting agonisingly against her legs, making Calum bite his lip. “What happened?”

Calum suddenly jumped, throwing a hand out as he stepped out of the puddle of wine and glass.

“Fuck, Ivy, I’m so sorry, I was trying to hide out on the balcony, so it’d be a surprise when you came out there and then I forgot the wine and now I’ve _dropped_ the wine and there’s more but it’s not as good as this one and-”

“Calum” She said for the third time, laughing lightly as she pulled him towards her by the collar of his shirt, her hands running across his chest making him whimper minutely. “It’s okay. I think I’m gonna be on cloud nine for the next week because of this dress _alone_ , spilt wine is the least of my worries, okay?” Calum huffed but nodded nonetheless, letting himself smile when she reached up and pressed a kiss to his lips, the taste of her perfume on his tongue driving him crazy. “Thank you, for this dress, by the way. I’m going to be wearing it at every opportunity possible”

“Well, that’s nice to hear because I think you look even more incredible in it than I’d imagined” He grinned against her lips, his fingers moving to play with the fabric against her waist. She let out a noise of content, brushing her lips over his again before she pulled away.

“What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion, just wanted to show you how much you mean to me” He shrugged, laughing as Ivy rolled her eyes, blushing. “Although it has been pretty much a month since you moved in, so I guess if you’re looking for an occasion, that’d be it”

“I never need an occasion when it comes to you” She grinned, her eyes flitting down to the wine that was still seeping across the apartment floor. “C’mon, let me help you with this”

Calum winced as he looked back down at the mess he’d made, mournfully taking a rag from Ivy as they carefully mopped up the wine and threw all the glass in the bin. Satisfied, he threw the cloths beside the washing machine and turned back to her with a smile, holding his hand out dramatically.

“To the balcony, gorgeous- _FUCK!”_

Calum almost couldn’t believe his luck, his heart sinking when he looked out at the balcony only to see two pigeons picking at the remains of the dish he’d left out there. Swearing, he strode outside, the pigeons scattering immediately as he moaned, nothing but crumbs left of the meal he’d spent all afternoon working on. Screwing his eyes shut, Calum rested his hands on the top of his head, tensing when he felt Ivy come and stand beside him.

“This was not how tonight was supposed to go” He gritted out, still keeping his eyes shut when he heard Ivy let out a sigh.

“I mean it could be worse” She tried, her hands moving to his waist as she came round the front of him. “You could’ve fallen _off_ the balcony. I could’ve never made it home-”

“If this is supposed to be making me feel better, it’s not working” Calum huffed, letting his arms drop to his sides as he moved to the table to take the dish inside. “I’m so sorry, Ivy”

“You don’t need to apologise? We can still have a lovely evening – order takeout, get that other bottle of wine out of the fridge, enjoy the view…” She sidled closer as she spoke, her hands moving back onto his chest, running her fingers across the fabric lightly. “And then, you know, we could always go back into the bedroom for…dessert?” She bit her lip as she said the last part eyeing him cheekily as she grinned, but quickly frowning when Calum shrugged away from her, putting the plates back onto the table irritably.

“This night was supposed to be perfect, and I fucked it up” He sulked, his eyes on the floor as he heard he scoff.

“Calum, how is anything that’s happened your fault? Big deal, it didn’t go to plan, but like I said, we can still have a lovely evening, all I need is you-”

“No but it is a big deal” Calum spat, feeling his temper rise. “It is a big deal because tonight was important to me and now it’s all ruined and-” He ran his hands through his hair, feeling Ivy roll her eyes as she crossed her arms.

“Why is it such a big deal, though? I don’t understand why-”

“It just is”

“Why?

“Because it is”

“ _Why?”_

 _“_ Ivy”

“Seriously, can you tell me what’s wrong please?”

“Nothing, I just wanted tonight to be special, for you”

“Why for me?”

“Doesn’t matter”

“Calum”

“Forget it”

“ _Calum_ ”

“ _Because I’m in love with you!”_ Calum finally snapped, throwing his arms up as Ivy stilled completely. She did nothing but stare at him, her lips parted as she blinked. Unable to stand the silence, Calum let out a short, nervous laugh, shaking his head as he began to ramble.

“There, I said it. I had this whole idea in my head of how it was gonna be when I told you that, but I guess I’ve fucked that up now too. I had a big, romantic night planned out where at the end of it I would tell you that I loved you and I kind of hoped that maybe you would say it back, but that’s all out the window now and I just, I just…” He caught his breath for a second, Ivy still stood in front of him, shell shocked. “I just really, really, love you. A lot. And I wanted to show you how much you mean to me. You’ve gone through so much shit, and I just wanted to make this one night special, just to show you how deserving of it you are, of happiness. You’re the first thing I see in the mornings and the last thing I see at night, and I consider myself so lucky that I’m the only person that gets that. I love the colour of your hair, how it looks against the white of a pillow, how it looks when it tumbles over your shoulder. I love your eyes, all the shades of green in them, how I could lose myself just staring into them for hours and never get bored, because every time I look at them, I see something new that I hadn’t noticed the last time. I love how you get all fidgety when you’re nervous. I love the fact that I’m the only person that can stop that fidgeting. I love how much you care about the people you love, and how it feels to be looked after by you when my mind’s out of sorts. That being said, I love looking after _you_ , and I’m not lying when I say I would burn Cities to the ground if that’s what it would take to cheer you up. I love the sound of your laugh, even though you think it’s ugly. I _love_ your smile, how warm and genuine it is, and as a dentist I should probably hate the little gap between your two front teeth, but I don’t, I think it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I love that little freckle between your shoulder and your collarbone. I love the tiny Snoopy tattoo you have on your ankle that you got when you were nineteen. I love how animated you get when you talk about something you’re passionate about. I love the way you sound when it’s dark outside. I love the way you look when it’s raining. I love how pretty you are when you cry. I love how red your cheeks go when you’re annoyed. I love how competitive you get when we play video games. I love listening to you read out your poetry and I love watching you draw” Calum stopped himself for a moment, saw the tears in her eyes and smiled as he realised that everything he’d ever need was stood right in front of him, at last.

“I love you, Ivy. Every single piece of you, with every single piece of me.”

**_Ivy’s POV_ **

****

Ivy didn’t know when she’d started crying, and quite frankly she didn’t care.

No one had ever proclaimed their love for her, for all of her, like that before.

Ever.

Calum was stood about two feet away from her, slightly breathless as the aftermath of what he’d said hung in the air between them, neither unsure of how the other felt. All they did was stand and stare at each other, for God knows how long, until Calum let out a frustrated groan, rolling his shoulders impatiently.

“Look, Ivy, I’m sorry, I-”

“Can you just, like, shut up for a second?” Ivy cut him off, her mind still foggy but clearing with every step she took toward him until there was no space left between them, only their clothes as Ivy took his face in her hands and kissed him with everything she had.

He stumbled back slightly, a hand fastening around her as he kissed her back, his tongue caressing hers as they moaned against each other, slowly walking backwards into the apartment.

Ivy’s hands moved from Calum’s cheeks to his hair, and Calum’s from her waist to her jaw as the kiss deepened, their tongues tangling, breathy moans chasing down each other’s throats. Ivy felt her whole-body tingling, like she might burst into flames, the sensation only growing stronger when Calum backed her against a wall, his leg moving in-between hers, his knee pressing gently against somewhere that had Ivy almost falling to the floor. She tugged at his curls, a growl sounding from the back of Calum’s throat in response as one of his hands moved to her breast, his thumb rubbing over the thin fabric covering her nipple.

“Do you, uh...” Calum spoke between kisses, his breaths labouring more as Ivy moved her hand to his crotch, squeezing lightly as he whined against her lips. “Do you maybe wanna skip dinner?”

“Say less” Ivy muttered, still kissing him like there was no tomorrow as she jumped into his arms, legs fastening around his waist as he strode to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him as his hold on her moved to her backside, stroking and caressing every inch of skin he could get his hands on.

Lips still connected, Calum laid Ivy down on the bed before straddling her waist, leaning down and moving his lips to her neck, sucking at her sweet spot, an almost permanent mark there now from the number of times his lips had wandered across it. Ivy hastily unbuttoned his shirt whilst he worked, and he lifted an arm up one at a time as she slipped it off his shoulders and tossed it to the floor, not hesitating to move to his belt as he kicked his shoes off. The belt soon joined the shirt on the floor, and just as Ivy went to unzip his trousers, he stopped her, a hand lightly gripping her wrist. She looked up at him through her lashes, neither of them saying a word as he moved onto the bed beside her, hooking an arm around her upper thigh and lifting her leg into his hold. Not breaking eye contact, he kissed all the way down her leg, Ivy squirming as she bit her lip, Calum’s hand moving across her skin as he slid her heel off her foot and dropped it to the floor, slowly doing the same to the other leg. She sat back and watched him, drawing in a shaky breath when he started kissing back up her leg, moving from her thigh to her chest, to her collarbone, and eventually back to her lips. The kiss was gentler this time, softer, until he pulled away again and Ivy whined.

“Stand up for me” He uttered, touching her waist lightly as she climbed off the bed to stand in front of him confusedly, watching as Calum moved to stand with her. His fingers toyed with the strap of her dress, hooking underneath the fabric as she shivered, watching him move one down and off her shoulder.

“I told you I loved you” He murmured, his eyes fixed on hers as he slipped off the other strap before moving his hands behind her back, pulling her against him and dipping his head down to her neck as he found the zip and tugged at it, lips caressing her skin. “Let me show you how much”

Ivy bit her lip, hard, as he finished, just as the dress fell off her figure and pooled at her feet, leaving her in nothing but the black, lacy thong she’d pulled on.

“Christ, you’re fucking phenomenal” Calum whispered as his hands moved to her backside again, playing with the only slip of fabric left on her as Ivy shakily moved her hands to his zipper, pulling it down and letting him step out of the trousers before they pulled each other’s underwear off, both not bothering to hide their small gasps as they took each other in. Slowly, Calum moved back onto the bed, eyes drinking in her body until he was leaning against the headboard, beckoning her to come sit between his legs with his finger. Swallowing, Ivy stumbled to the edge of the bed crawling up to him and pressing another kiss to his lips once she reached him. Unsure of what he wanted her to do, she straddled his waist, moving to lower herself onto him until Calum’s hands fastened on her waist and she paused mid-air.

“Not so fast” He scolded lightly, that evil smirk she’d missed tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Turn around and lay back, love”

Breath catching at the pet name, Ivy did as she was told, twisting until she was laying against his chest, their legs tangling in front of them. Ivy felt Calum wrap an arm across her chest, his fingers moving to play with her nipples as the other arm constricted across her abdomen, fingers creeping towards her clit agonisingly slowly. Ivy, unable to move, felt her climax building before he’d even touched her when he leant his head down to her ear, whispering sweet nothings whilst his fingers started working on her.

“Hold still for me sweetheart, that’s it” He cooed as Ivy whined, feeling his smile against her ear. No part of him was inside her – he was making her wet from touch _alone_ and it was driving Ivy fucking crazy that right now, this was all she was getting. It was too much and not enough all at once.

“You’re so pretty when you’re flustered” He mused, his dominant dark side coming out to play when Ivy threw her head back against his shoulder, desperately trying to move her hips with his fingers.

“Fucking _please_ Calum” Ivy whimpered, close to tears as his touch sent her into overdrive, her whole body shaking underneath the steady, circular rhythm he was administrating. “Please, I’m gonna-”

“It’s okay” He soothed, his thumb rubbing across her abdomen momentarily as he worked her closer and closer to the edge. “I won’t stop you”

Only seconds later it hit her, Ivy letting out a loud cry as Calum let her arch her back, his fingers still on her as she rode the wave out, legs trembling like leaves. She stayed against his chest even after he moved his hands away, trying to gain back control of her limbs as Calum nipped at her earlobe lightly, nudging his nose against her cheek.

“Again?” He asked quietly, looking up at her with round eyes when she eventually turned to him, gently straddling his lap as she pushed him down until he was lying flat beneath her.

“No” She responded calmly, wicked intention settling in her mind. “I’m going to have some fun of my own”

Calum’s eyes were almost black, his breaths already laboured as Ivy leant down over him, their noses touching as she kissed him slowly, dragging her lips down to his neck, leaving hickeys all over his skin. She felt Calum trembling beneath her, his hands moving into her hair and stroking lightly as she kissed and sucked her way down his chest, slowly inching towards where he needed her most. She reached his hips and he whined, his hold on her hair tightening as she left hickeys on the skin along his v-line, inching closer and closer with every kiss.

“Please” He breathed out, his chest rising and falling quicker with every second that passed. “Ivy”

Ivy adored the way her name sounded on his tongue, how he stretched it out with a moan, _especially_ when he was at her mercy like this.

“You sound so pretty when you beg” She mocked him, moving a hand up to his length, stroking along it a couple times as Calum bucked his hips in response, his face contorted in desperate longing. She moved back up to him, earning an infuriated groan from Calum as she moved her hands beside his head and kissed him deeply. “Just relax, babe” She whispered in his ear, kissing along his jaw, stroking her fingers through his hair calmingly as he quivered, at complete surrender to her touch. “All good things come to those wait”

Without saying another word, she slid back down his body, taking his length into her mouth without hesitation. Calum let out a gasp, his hands flying back into her hair as he moaned, slowly moving his hips in time with her movement. Ivy smiled against him, using every tool in her arsenal as she took him all the way back, drawing her lips up and down on him relentlessly. The prettiest sounds poured from Calum’s throat as she carried on, the feel of his body writhing underneath hers only spurring her on. She felt him coming closer, let him drip down the back of her throat as she looked up at him from beneath lowered lashes, aching for him to release himself when-

“Stop” Calum suddenly uttered, gently pulling her off of him with his hands on her jaw as he sat upright, their faces inches from each other. Ivy frowned suddenly, worried she’d been doing something wrong as she went to speak, only for Calum to hold a finger to her lips, shushing her.

“Together” He whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips as he turned and laid her down on the sheets beneath him, an arm reaching across to the bedside table as he grabbed a condom, tearing it open with his teeth, not breaking eye contact with Ivy the whole time as she bit her lip, aching in anticipation. He dropped the condom into her hand, raising an eyebrow as she frowned.

“If you would be so kind” He murmured, smirking at her as she grinned back, reaching between them and taking her time to roll the material over him, grinning even harder when she saw his eyes roll back, moving his head down to bury his face in the skin of her neck.

“You’re going to be the death of me” He laughed weakly when she finished, taking her hands in his as he pinned them either side of her head against the pillows. He went to move, and Ivy tensed, sucking in a breath until he paused, looking at her carefully for a moment.

“Are you sure?” He asked quietly, his thumb stroking across her cheek as she smiled adoringly at him, wondering how she’d gotten this lucky.

Ivy only nodded in response, leaning up slightly to kiss him as he smiled against her lips and gently moved into her. She gasped against him for a second, screwing her eyes shut as Calum placed light kisses to her jaw and neck, not moving until her hands moved into his hair and tugged lightly, telling him she was okay.

Slowly, he began moving back and forth, the pair of them letting out breathy moans as Ivy’s hands moved over every inch of him, eventually settling onto his back as her fingernails scratched lightly. Listening to her, Calum started to move faster, a steady rhythm beginning as Ivy moaned louder with every thrust, sinking her nails deeper into his skin as he kissed at her neck in-between groans.

With every movement Ivy was taken further and further into paradise, her legs shaking even more as her second orgasm steadily approached, the bed rocking slightly underneath them. Her legs hooked around Calum’s waist and the slightly different angle had her throwing her head back against the pillow, pushing him into her as she rocked her hips in time with his, the feel of their skin against each other driving her wild.

He was hers, and she was his. Both could feel it so clearly, that this time was different than any time before.

With a sudden snap, Ivy let go, almost howling as an intense wave crashed over her, clinging to Calum for dear life as her body shook uncontrollably, Calum slowing his movements minutely as he chased his own orgasm, his eyes screwing shut when he reached it shortly after. He dropped his head down to her neck again, swearing as he trembled above her, slowly stilling his movements.

“Fu-uuuck” He panted out, barely managing to keep himself poised above her as he thrusted into Ivy a couple more times, Ivy whimpering as he brushed against her now overly sensitive walls. Gently, he pulled out and Ivy yelped, drawn out of the heat of the moment and feeling empty. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you” He murmured, one hand stroking her cheek and the other drawing patterns against her side as they both caught their breath, staring into each other’s eyes with a slight smile tugging at both their lips. Calum leant down and kissed her softly, lovingly, and Ivy kissed him back, whining when he pulled away to fall onto the mattress next to her, pulling the duvet around their waists as he wrapped an arm back around her, tugging her into his chest. They stayed quiet for a moment, happy to just sit in each other’s company, to let the other come back down to Earth, their laboured breaths filling the empty space. Ivy stretched out slightly, laying her head on Calum’s chest as she hummed happily.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk tomorrow” She murmured, and Calum laughed, the vibrations running through his chest and tickling her cheek. She felt him lean his head down and press a kiss to her hair lightly, his thumb stroking against her arm.

“I’ll take that as a compliment” He replied, smiling against her as he shifted slightly, as if to get out of bed. Ivy whined, tugging him back down to her as he rolled his eyes, laughing softly. “I was only going to see if you wanted to order food”

“Oh” Ivy replied quietly, nodding when she felt her stomach rumble. “I’d like that”

“Okay then” He replied, smiling as he kissed her forehead again before pulling on some boxers and sweats, throwing one of his t shirts at her from across the room and hitting her squarely in the face, laughing when Ivy groaned. Pulling the top over her head Ivy sat up, watching Calum pad around the room for clothes before he walked out into the kitchen, watching him through the open door as he rummaged for menus, a small smile on his face the whole time. He returned with two glasses of water before sitting back down on the bed next to her, his hands immediately moving to caress her skin again as Ivy purred, her heart filling with a feeling she’d never felt before.

“Calum”

“Yes, my love?”

“I love you too”

She felt Calum pause beside her, making a small noise in the back of his throat. She looked up at him carefully and noticed tears lining his eyes as he let out a quiet laugh, looking down at her with an expression that no doubt mirrored her own.

“I know you do” He said softly, stroking her face as she leant into his hold. “I have your heart and you have mine. It’s been that way from the moment I laid eyes on you”


	28. twenty six

Ivy awoke to the feeling of Calum’s lips drifting across her skin.

She cracked an eye open, her vision filled with a head of unruly bed curls tickling against her chin, a sleepy golden face smiling down at her caught in the hazy filter of early dawn.

“Morning gorgeous” He murmured, his morning voice deep and raspy as Ivy hummed, her eyes screwed shut as she stretched, yawning, before reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. “How’d you sleep?”

Ivy didn’t utter much of a response, only humming again as she nodded sleepily, turning into Calum’s chest as he continued pressing kisses along her neck. She hadn’t even been awake thirty seconds and already her day was full of bliss - is this what being in love did to you? Suddenly your life’s like a scene in a movie?

Ivy hoped so.

“What time is it?” She mumbled, nuzzling her head against Calum’s chest as he stretched an arm back to grab his watch off the side, his other hand drawing patterns into the bare skin on her back.

“Just gone 6:30” He replied, laughing softly as Ivy whined, knowing they both would have to get up soon. “I know bub, it’s a tough life”

“Can’t we just call in sick or something?” She moaned, looking up at him with puppy eyes as he shook his head scornfully, cupping her cheek as she pouted. “I don’t even think my boss would notice if I didn’t come in”

“Yeah well, technically my boss is Luke, and he knows where I live so if I choose to stay in bed with you all day, he’ll be marching in here and dragging me out by my ankles regardless” He huffed, Ivy knowing that the idea of skipping work was tempting him. “Plus, I have patients to take care of _and_ after work me and Luke are giving each other check-ups and cleanings, so staying in bed romancing you all day is gonna have to be a hard pass I’m afraid” He finished, pouting as Ivy threw her head back against the pillow dramatically, glaring at him from the corner of her eye.

“Sounds like you and Luke have quite the date arranged” Ivy smiled, winking when Calum rolled his eyes. “In that case I guess we should probably get up” She exhaled, leaning over Calum and pressing a kiss to his forehead before scootching over to her side to stand, only for a pair of hands to wrap around her waist and pull her down onto the mattress with a screech.

“Technically, we still have twenty minutes until our alarm goes off” Calum mused, lounging across her as she raised an eyebrow, sensing the direction he was going in. “I wonder, what’s something productive that we could do in twenty minutes?” He mused, jokingly stroking his chin as Ivy smacked his chest, giggling. With a dramatic sigh he turned back to face her, leaning his head down as he let out a little gasp before latching his lips onto her neck again.

“Oh, _I know_ ” He purred, Ivy already squirming as she sighed contently. Calum didn’t finish his sentence, smiling against her skin as he kissed down her body slowly, running his tongue over the darker marks he’d left the night before. With a whirl of his hand, he threw the duvet over the pair of them, Ivy letting out a squeal as she felt Calum hook his arms around her legs.

~

“I told you we didn’t have time” Ivy scolded Calum as he ran back and forth through the apartment, his scrub trousers hanging low on his waist whilst his scrub shirt was still nowhere to be seen. He was like a cartoon character, practically leaving her hair windswept every time he skidded past her, Ivy just smiling amusedly whilst she leant against the side and sipped from her coffee, not having to start work until an hour later than Calum.

Calum, on the other hand, was supposed to be at work in ten minutes.

“You know what would be really helpful? Instead of standing there and scolding me you could actually-AH HAH!” He yelled cheerfully, finally spotting his shirt hanging over the back of a chair that he’d walked past about fifteen times, pulling it over his head and hurriedly smoothing his curls back into place as he hopped in circles pulling his shoes on. Ivy continued to grin at him, astounded as to how someone so smart could be this disorganised. She listened to him list off the different patients he had to see that day to himself as he grabbed his bag and keys before taking a sip of his coffee from the side. Ivy frowned when she noticed him wince slightly, but before she could remark he was in front of her, pressing a kiss to her lips quickly before turning back on his heel.

“Have a wonderful day gorgeous” He smiled over his shoulder, blowing her one last kiss before he disappeared through the front door, Ivy giggling when she heard him swear repeatedly whilst bolting down the building steps.

“ _That’s_ the man I’m in love with” She muttered to herself, shaking her head and smiling slightly as she looked down at Duke, like he was capable of upholding a conversation. “Don’t open the door for strangers whilst we’re gone” She hollered over her shoulder to the small dog before leaving the apartment and locking the door, starting her much-longer-than-Calum’s commute to work.

~

It wasn’t until lunchtime that Ivy heard from Calum again, surprised that he had time to ring her when his days were normally too busy.

She picked up the phone, Ashton throwing his hands up in protest as he’d been midway through a laborious speech on his new drum kit.

“Hi babe what’s up?” Ivy answered sunnily, waving a hand at Ashton when he tried interrupting her.

“Hi” Calum replied, and Ivy balked at how sullen he sounded.

“Are you okay? You sound miserable, what’s happened?”

“Would you be able to come for my office later? For my check-up?”

“Uhhh I can do, I might have to leave work a little early, but it’s been a slow day anyway. What’s wrong?”

“I think I have a cavity” Calum whimpered, and Ivy’s heart immediately sunk for him, albeit finding the situation a little funny. A dentist scared of drills; you couldn’t write it.

“Aw bub of course I’ll come! How long have you had it, are you in pain?” Ivy fretted.

“A little; I don’t think it’s a big one. I felt it twinge a bit last night and this morning when I tried drinking coffee it hurt too, but just now me and Luke were on our lunch break and I tried eating and it’s throbbing like a bitch. I _never_ get cavities Ivy, I don’t know what happened” Ivy’s heart ached for him, especially when she heard the slight quiver in his voice.

“Okay, Calum, calm down bub because it’s going to be okay, okay? You should know more than anyone that these things just ‘happen’ and it’s not your fault. Luke wouldn’t _dream_ of hurting you, I’m gonna be there too, and you know it has to be done and you’ll feel so much better afterwards”

“Yeah, yeah I know” Calum muttered, knowing this all too well without his dentist-phobic girlfriend lecturing him.

“You’re going to be fine” Ivy repeated, hearing him huff irritably in agreeance. “What time are you doing it?”

“We shut early today because it’s a Friday, so at like six?”

“Okay, I’ll be there, I love you, go do something that’ll take your mind off it” She suggested, immediately regretting the last part.

“Ivy I literally _work_ with drills, _how_ am I supposed to-”

“Yeah alright, alright” She cut him off gently, sensing he was getting worked up. “Just try and relax, okay? It’s no biggie, I’ll see you later”

“Okay” He replied quietly, and Ivy smiled sadly, feeling his anxiety almost vibrating through the phone. “Love you”

“Love you too, bye” She said softly, hanging up before letting out a sigh. Ashton raised a questioning eyebrow at her as she turned back to their desk.

“Is he alright?” He asked curiously and Ivy nodded, sipping at her iced coffee.

“He’s fine, just a bit jumpy; he’s got a cleaning later and thinks he has a cavity and, well, no one likes drills do they” She shrugged, Ashton nodding in understanding.

“Scared of his own job” Ashton giggled under his breath, scowling when Ivy kicked him under the table. “Send him my well wishes”

The rest of the day dragged by; no work to be completed, leaving Ivy with nothing to do other than to worry about Calum – how much pain he was in, how his day was going, if he was in a mood. All she wanted to do was go over to his office right now and give him a tight hug, just to let him know everything was going to be okay.

Soon enough, it was half five, and Ivy was hurrying out of work and hopping onto the first subway to Calum’s office. She got there in about fifteen minutes, thanking Sierra who unlocked the door to let her in before making her way to Calum’s room. Gingerly, she knocked on the door before stepping in, frowning when she saw her boyfriend slumped in his chair in the corner, his head resting on the cool worktop as he groaned softly.

“Oh, babe” Ivy sighed, walking over to him and crouching down when he lifted his head, a small smile drifting across his face when their eyes met. “How are you feeling?”

“Fantastic” He grimaced, rubbing his cheek lightly as she stroked her fingers through his curls.

“It’ll be over before you know it” She reassured him, pressing a kiss to his forehead just as Luke walked in. The tall blonde sent her a smile before focussing on Calum, frowning slightly.

“You ready?” He asked and Calum set his shoulders, nodding as he stood, an arm wrapping around Ivy’s waist. “We’ll do them in my room, and we’ll get mine out the way first. Hey Ivy” He grinned, the pair giving each other a little wave. “You here for moral support?”

“That I am” She beamed, looking up at Calum to see him staring into space, nudging him lightly. “Come on you”

He sent her a small smile, the three walking down the hall to Luke’s office, where the chair and equipment was all already set up. Luke sat in the chair, Calum on the seat behind him and Ivy on a chair to the side, shivering slightly as she glanced at the sharp tools on a tray by Calum’s elbow. Calum noticed, looking at her pointedly as he slipped gloves on.

“You good?” He asked her, moving the chair down and pulling the light over Luke’s face before slipping a mask on.

“Mmhm” Ivy nodded, Calum simply nodding back, knowing not to push her. He turned to Luke, the two of them teasing each other like a pair of ten-year-olds as Calum started his exam.

As much as she wasn’t a fan of his profession, Ivy couldn’t help but watch Calum as he worked. His focus was solely on the patient beneath him, his brow furrowed in concentration. His fingers were so nimble, his touch light and gentle, Luke by the looks of it almost falling asleep at one point.

“Luke, wake up buddy” Calum scolded him gently, laughing when Luke jumped slightly, flinching at all the tools he’d forgotten were in his mouth. “I’m almost done, couple more minutes”

He wanted nothing more than to help people, to take their pain and fear away, and it was this thought that made her heart swell with pride as Calum pulled away from Luke after about fifteen minutes, sitting the chair back up and writing some notes before they swapped seats.

“Are you gonna be brave for me Calum?” Luke teased as Calum laid down, laughing when Calum threw a hand up to hit him.

“Fuck off” He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared up at the ceiling, his feet tapping together at the end of the chair the only indication that he was even a little bit nervous. “Let’s get this over with”

Ivy caught his eye as he looked at the tools around him worriedly, blowing him a kiss which he smiled at before Luke switched the light back on and asked Calum to open.

“Which side did you say it was on?” Luke asked, humming when Calum pointed to the bottom right corner of his mouth. “Okay, I see the problem” he said almost immediately after, Calum whimpering slightly as Luke tilted his head more towards him. He picked up an explorer from beside him and touched the tooth lightly, Calum letting out a yelp instantly as Luke backed away, writing something down. “That looks painful man”

“If it looks painful then why the fuck did you touch it” Calum hissed, Ivy sensing his heckles raising. She hated seeing him like this; defensive and scared. It made her want to take him as far away from this office as possible.

“You know I’m just doing my job mate” Luke responded calmly, discreetly prepping some anaesthetic as he threw a glance to Ivy over his shoulder. She watched Calum nod sadly, rubbing his face before he stared directly upward again, as if he could burn a hole in the ceiling and jump through it.

Without saying a word, Ivy picked her chair up and scooted to sit next to him, making sure she wasn’t in the way of Luke or any equipment as she took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. Calum looked at her, puzzled, Ivy just rolling her eyes at him.

“You don’t have to do that” He huffed, not letting go of her hand regardless as Ivy looked up at Luke, the two of them grinning.

“I know I don’t” She responded simply, bringing their hands from his lap to hers. “But I want to”

Calum cast his eyes back to her and gave her the tiniest of smiles, a silent thank you as Ivy saw a tear lining his eye. She said nothing back, just brought his hand up to her lips as she pressed a kiss to his skin, Luke moving to sit by Calum’s head again, a needle in his hand.

“Alright, I’m gonna make this as quick as I can” Luke explained, his hand resting on Calum’s chin as Calum screwed his eyes shut, tentatively opening his mouth. Ivy watched as Luke gently pulled Calum’s bottom lip down, having to look away when he started injecting the anaesthetic. She felt Calum’s grip on her hand tighten and she focussed her attention down to their hands in her lap, drawing patterns across Calum’s knuckles with her thumb as she heard him groan.

“Worst part over” Luke said, bringing the needle away at last as Calum swore quietly, rubbing his cheek with his free hand.

“No wonder my patients hate me” He muttered, laughing a little as Ivy smiled at him, pushing past the dizziness she was starting to feel from being in this room a little longer than she’d hoped.

“You know for a fact that that’s not true” Luke murmured, picking the drill and suction up as both Calum and Ivy tensed. Calum noticed Ivy balk and glanced at her, sitting up slightly much to Luke’s indignation.

“Ivy, go and wait outside” He said, moving to slip his hand out of her hold but she shook her head rapidly, pulling it back into her lap.

“No, I’m not leaving you” She insisted as Calum rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. You hate drills and you look like you’re about to be sick; it’d make me feel a Hell of a lot better if you didn’t stay in a situation that’s making your anxiety go _whoosh”_ He moved his hand up past his head like a rollercoaster to emphasise his point, but Ivy didn’t budge.

“No, I’m staying. You hate drills too and you’re the one that’s about to have one in your mouth. I’m staying, Calum, lie back down” She said firmly, giving him a look as he went to protest, only to slump in defeat before laying back down cautiously.

“Alright, you can start” Calum mumbled to Luke, opening his mouth and screwing his eyes again shut as Luke turned the drill on, Ivy tensing immediately and feeling Calum do the same. He didn’t make a sound once Luke begun, instead his whole body going rigid in the chair, a death grip on Ivy’s hand. Ivy knew it’d be bruised later on, but she didn’t care, running her thumb over his knuckles soothingly, her other hand rubbing across his stomach. She could practically hear his heart hammering over the drills quiet whine, and she found herself blinking back tears, hating how much he hated this.

“You’re alright bub, almost there” She comforted him quietly, barely being able to make out his face to see if he was in pain; Luke’s hand on his chin and lower lip, the suction hooked on the corner of his mouth and the drill still working into his tooth blocking her view. Luke sensed her worried stare and looked up at her momentarily, smiling softly through his mask.

“He’s okay, I promise. All he can feel is pressure” Luke reassured her, Calum suddenly giving the two of them a shaky thumbs up as if to back up Luke’s point. Ivy laughed slightly, squeezing his hand and relaxing a little as she noticed his figure had slumped slightly, more relaxed against the chair than he was two minutes ago. The three fell into a comfortable silence as to let Luke work, Calum letting out a noticeable sigh of relief when the drill was eventually turned off.

“Bigger cavity than you thought” Luke mused, Calum nodding in agreement as he let him carry on. Ivy stayed sitting quietly, subconsciously rubbing her thumb across his knuckles in a repeated motion, staring into space for the remainder of the procedure. It wasn’t until she felt Calum’s hand slip out of her grasp that she jolted slightly, blinking when she noticed Calum was sat up in front of her, a lopsided grin on his face as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“We’re finished sweetheart” He murmured, nudging Ivy with his elbow gently as she blinked again, shaking her head. “You okay?”

“Sorry, yeah, got lost in my thoughts” She smiled back tiredly, standing with him as he stretched, rolling his neck before his arm automatically looped back round her waist. “Does that mean we can get out of here?”

“It does” He replied sunnily, his voice lisping slightly to which Ivy giggled. Calum looked down at her, taken aback as he raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “Unless of course, you want a cleaning of your own?”

“Absolutely not, I’ll wait the remaining four months thank you” She retorted, earning a laugh from the two dentists this time as they tidied up the room before swiftly walking out to reception. Sierra had already left for the evening but had taken the Subway, allowing Luke to offer Calum and Ivy a ride home. They happily accepted, the three of them jumping into Luke’s Porsche (“ _Why don’t **you** own a Porsche?”_ Ivy had interrogated an indignant Calum) and starting the short drive home, Luke and Calum in the front, Ivy in the back. The radio played softly, and Ivy let out a content sigh, watching the streets coated in fluffy white snow whizz past them. They pulled up outside Calum’s building, thanking Luke for the lift before he drove off into the night. An arm round each other, the pair climbed the steps to Calum’s apartment quietly, happily accepting Duke’s excited licks when they opened the door. Calum dropped his bag by the door, moving to slink off to run a bath but Ivy gently grabbed his wrist, spinning him round to face her.

“Hey” She murmured, cupping his face to look at her, being mindful of his jaw. “I’m really proud of you, you know that right?”

Calum smiled softly, nodding his head. “I do but thank you for saying it. Being in that situation always makes me feel so vulnerable, even though I work on people who have to be in that position all day long. And I know that you hate it too, so it means a _lot_ that you stayed. More than you know”

“I stayed because I love you and I didn’t want you to be alone” She shrugged, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. “You’d do the same”

“Damn right I would” He said firmly, kissing her back with more passion but wincing slightly. Ivy pulled away, rubbing his jaw soothingly as he frowned. “This sucks”

“I know it does” She cooed, moving her hands to his shoulders to push him back towards the bathroom. “Go run a bath, relax”

Calum nodded, going to turn but pausing at the last moment. “Come with me?” He suggested, and Ivy knew he didn’t mean sex; he just wanted to relax, but with _her_.

“Okay” She agreed, smiling as he beamed, tugging his shirt off before padding towards the bathroom. “I’ll be in in a minute”

He didn’t respond, simply disappeared behind the door, the sound of running water soon following suit. Ivy smiled, closing her eyes as she let the same feeling of bliss from this morning wash over her.

~

Two figures reclining in a porcelain tub, hot water melting away the aches of their day. Mountains of bubbles tickled their chins, especially the girls as she rested against his chest, his arms looped around her waist under the water, tracing patterns onto her abdomen with his fingers. The room was bathed in a soft, amber glow, courtesy of the lavender – scented candles they’d balanced on the edge of the bath. Two intertwined souls, caught in a small moment of paradise together, the girl letting out a content sigh, her heart aching in all the best ways as the boy pressed feather-light kisses along her neck and shoulders from behind her, mumbling an “I love you” between each one.


End file.
